If He's Treating You Like An Option, You're Actually Just 'Another Option'

The holidays are coming to an end, make sure you are not just an option in 2016

If you think you are his/ her option, you're damn right, you are the option and you're being taken for a ride. It's in our guts, we know when things are not right. Women got this savior called "intuition" that is always right if only it was used well....The truth is, if he's treating you like an option now, he will treat you like an option even if you get pregnant and get your copper daddy to force him to marry you. Have I, Njoki, ever discovered that being treated like an option..you may ask.. Hell Yes I have!

When someone doesn't want you, they just don't, its their decision. Most let you know that by treating you like a rag. You can only force very few things to work, you cannot even force a fat cow to drink water from the stream, neither can you force an eight month old baby to swallow food he doesn't want to swallow. Someone who is treating you like a side hustle, a side dish, a side whore, his hoe-liday, a please call me, like a  recourse, I can promise you he shall not change it just because you keep up to his crap! and trying to force someone into 'keeping up" with you [cuz that ain' a relationship] its desperate, shallow, and psychotic! 

A brokenhearted girl wrote in that the damned guy hasn't spoken to her for a whole fat month now after a little disagreement and that she doesn't know what to do, since nigga wont answer calls, he blocked her on social media, and moved house...well, my advice is; what about moving ON.

You know you are just another pathetic option when he only checks you up after 9pm letting you know that he can actually come to visit you in YOUR house. You know you are a mere option to them when communication is so limited that you get upto four days without speaking. You know you are his clubbing option if the only meeting you have is in a noisy club. That is not a healthy relationship. Even God himself gives us the freedom to speak to him anytime we please because He loves us! Don't be fooled in 2016!

•There are hundredths of grown people who are evidently being treated like options, their values underestimated and very well treating their aloof mate like a priority. In 'they can't eat without them' adolescent style. Women being treated this way console themselves with 'this is just a test' bullshit. Accepting things and style that's not yours, that doesn't make you feel great, is being So Basic, and basic ain' cute baby. when that dude only sees you once a month, girl, that dude got better things to DO other than you. Respect yourself enough to lock your self out of his life, cuz evidently he tryna' lock himself out and you keep on emotionally 'inviting' 'letting'  him in.

•When you allow the "option" button to be branded on you,just because you're in love, you are signing up for heartaches and nightly choking on tears and empty - hard - painful swallows that you can easily keep away from if you can make fast, final decisions on people who make you feel like crap. Being in love doesn't mean you can be stupid. Get it straight that when a guy only hollas and sees you once in three weeks the chance of him stepping up to being you main squeeze is 0.001%  That shit never works and if it 'happens' its Crap, and someone who is definitely you, is a concrete fool.

•Women are so good at making excuses at their lame guys who treat them bad everyday. It's in the psychology of women to be easy, to forgive, to take full responsibility yada yada yada...and its such a time waster, these men are not our children! We tend to feel like when the dude is busy treating us bad - its Jesus trying us if we can be forgiving to our tormentors, we even try looking into the bible for comforting verses. We tend to hold on to the "hope" that something will "change" if we take more shit in, this dude will "grow up" he is just 27 anyway, he had a 'hard' life growing up [99% of us hard a damn hard time-so please!], excuses excuses and more excuses, we even go to the lengths and widths of blaming ourselves, its so tiring- distracting, detracting and self detesting.

•Girls, be selfish with your goodies including your time! I love you's are overrated, watch the actions! What i can confirm is that when someone WANTS to see you they DO SEE YOU, when someone WANTS to TAKE YOU OUT, they will take you out, When a guy WANTS to prioritize YOU, He WILL. When someone WANTS to LOVE you, they do just that, and no job, no parents, no schedule , no distance can STOP that, every other excuse you've heard is Total BULLSHIT. Its all in the choices... and, your work as a woman is not to do the chasing taking the bull and the begging, your work is to 'agree' and 'show you're interested' anything you do outside this, is breaking the lady code and playing a desperate lame game.

•When you open the door to your house or to your heart for an moron who did not pick your calls for a whole month or even call you back or text you or even email you, while you've been spotting him online on Facebook posting silly ass pictures,  you are the fool - the complete dumbo here, not him, he's just playin'. Do not cover a players ass at the cost of your feelings anymore. The heart and the body is yours and while he's having fun with the real person that he PRIORITIZES [who is NOT you] , girl you gon' be having a darn cold night. ALONE. When you feel misled by his actions talk to him/her about it, make things clear, tell him that if you're to be his girlfriend, he has to step up and treat you like one and if he thinks that's too hard, then he can take a damned hike and never look back.

•The trick for keeping away from woozy time wasters is having an open, critical mind - having a bullshit meter to measure your limitations, and not being too forgiving that you let it slide ALL the time, the moment you realize it was all bollocks he gave you, you'll regret giving that painful felon your time, the sooner you're out, the less the ache. We all were options one day, just before the special people chose us, BUT there is a limit , there must be a limit  of 'till when' you can be left out in the rain.

•Please internalize and or digest the fact that A fellow who keeps you hanging for two months - did i say two months? - meant 1 week, after your date, will never change that set, he is NOT into you, he will not be into you and as long as you chose to cry the popular "He used me" wolf cry...you shall be the sorry ass last person he/she calls when everyone else is out of town, the last person he calls when he is drunk and arrested and the last person he calls when he is Horny.

•Don't you let no one minimize -demoralize - depress you into a little play thing he can toss around as he pleases, don on your high heel do your walk - out of crap-world!...If you're still being treated like dirt, wake up call, Just Dump that bloke and get another - they're in plenty- who will be excited to have you!

When he only texts or calls you to narrate how horny he is, darling, you are just another option he has on the side.

PS: Why even bother keeping some jerk-ass that treats you like an option, taking you for granted, yet you can easily let in someone who prioritizes you!? Accepting bullshit should be illegal...Actually you're the stupid one.

Sincerely

©Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl

Left Without A Trace, Unexplainedly...

 I'm a girl, a woman, a lady depending on how you see things, i have left guys on a first date and never spoke to them again or agreed to see them again without giving a reason. A very small mistake gives me cold feet no matter how hot and loaded the fella is. Guys do the same thing, once a guy meets the seemingly sweet good mannered girl who can chew mouth-closed, and the chick comes out 100% ratchet, he runs for his dear life when he is a man who respects himself and his reputation or stature.


They may say that its not you and that its them, but the truth remains that it is really YOU.
Guys say that their girlfriends left 'without a reason'. The truth of the matter is, there is always a very good reason, the problem is just that you are never told what YOU DID or did not do. Girls think the guy just woke up and left without a reason, but there's always a reason unknown to you, valid reason or impossibly unreasonably irrational.

Most Probable Reasons She Left You...
 
 •First, you come out as a complete jerk
You talk with your mouth open when full of food. You never liked her mother or friends and you told her so on the first date. You also told her that she needs to lose weight to look more attractive on your third date. And that she should start threading her brows and be ready for orgies that you really are into.

•You are irritatingly shallow.
 She is a grown woman you're 32 and she is looking for a relationship where both of you will 'grow' and get somewhere, but your idea of dating is raving at the downtown clubs... and you still plait corn rows and put on those rose rings.

•You Talked too much.
On your first date, you made her a listener while you spoke all through about yourself, your life, what you own, how great your mother can cook and the business you're launching very soon and that you'll give her a job as a secretary so that you can have her all to yourself in the office....yada yada yada yada- without breathing. jeez! that is tiring!

•You don't use deodorant.
When you showed up at her door with that football jersey, you had come from your fieldwork project or whatever...and you were stinking. You did not think it was rude and repulsive to go to a date with a girl that likes you smelling all fresh. You did not care about impressing her so she was pissed off.

•Your breath stinks.
You went to the third date and just when she was really getting comfortable to want to kiss you, you had eaten fish and you never cleaned your mouth or bothered to buy orbit for a faux fresh breath at the least.

•You come out sounding all goal-less.
You are 27 and your main ambition is to be a huge platinum rap artiste in Kenya! You are still saving up money from small projects that you do for you debut album and this is the only thing that matters to you, all day long, all year long, and you actually send her all your singles on whats-app to listen.

•You presented liar syndrome
She just went through your facebok just to see you are in 'a relationship' with another chick. and you never said anything about it. [social media is a sell-out...fyi], she went through your comments on other girls stuff and you're so into shameless flirting.

•You're chronically boring.
You never have anything to talk about when you meet apart from sex and how you will be laying her good in the night-shift. This lady being a grown woman, sees you as chronically silly. Later on, You completely ignore her until you need sex or when you need your ego massaged or is it your manhood?..Then at your second chance date you were hands on your smartphone, chatting your attention away since 'online' can't hold up till your date ends.

•You're claim 'super busy'
You are even busier than the CEO of USA. You never called her after your first date and on calling after two weeks , your explanation was you were very busy at work. You made her wonder what was going on. No one is Ever too busy. That's always a lame excuse.
Your Communication skills suck bigtime! She gave you her number and you never called back or even text. You called three months later when she already dating someone else. You're a loser if you thought she would wait to find out your interest with zero communication. WE girls,value communication, and the more you speak to us, and take us out to a date the more the connection between us grows. Out of Sight, Out Of Mind. You are a cave man, if you do not make efforts to communicate at all.
 
•You're a possessive insecure ass clown.
You are already demanding that she cannot speak to her poor friends and your male friends. You present 'angry' anytime you see near a male, and also present those silly fights. [Lord knows i have insecure, possessive maniacs!] You are suffocating 'her' with your possessiveness and man drama in case you thought you're being 'so Conan'! when we say we want protection, we don't mean that crap!

•You are a sex maniac its sex, sex and more.
The only topic you thoroughly know and yap about is sex, how you will lay her hard, get her pregnant and do a paternity test because you don't trust 'bitches'. You yap how good you are in bed and how every girl praises your prowess and power between your legs. You tell her that you even like it deep in the ass.

•You're painfully Inconsiderate.
She is a single mother that lives with her child and on the first date, you have already asked her to take the child to her mother or baby daddy so that you can move in with her. You told her it will be more fun just the two of you having  the house all to yourselves...If you don't like kids, freakin' leave single mamas alone! then you really like giving unwarranted advice on her body matters... if you don't like her body, leave her alone! bodies cant change in a day. 

•You're a complete ass.
You dared take a woman's phone-call DURING your date and talked for ten good minutes without even excusing your self. It's  such a turn off. It was even worse your smartphone was damn loud she could hear her chuckling on the other end. If you tried to show how much airtime you have or prove that you're on post paid tariff, or how much busy you are that you get loads of calls, i got news for you, that's a complete dating fail.

•You're so damn bad in bed.
You've been together six months now and you are terrible in bed. the only thing you are good at is dozing away after..... You are not exciting or open minded to try stuff out and that's is why she never returned your calls ever after.

•You're DIM
When you speak, she cannot see any future with you. You dare talk much about how much you will never get married, since women all jerks and are all golddiggers and you'd rather remain single forever than get married to any female. You even told her you're in for the fun of it. [No serious woman will stay when you're such a meat head].

•Wondering Wonder.
You make her dissect and over think whether you really love her. you make her go checking you social media out for CLUES because she is not sure whether you really care. She sees you online on Facebook all day and you never post anything, comment on anything or even say hi to her on chat or even a call. You make her wonder if you love or even like her at all or just wasting her minutes. You cause her to feel desperate. You make her be the one to ask you out and ask how its all going down.

•Wandering penis.
She saw a text pop up that suggests you just had sex that afternoon, or another that suggests that you are either married or getting laid tonight since she is not agreeing to follow you to the cheap guest house that night. You gave her a lift in your car, and at the corner you pulled over just to undress her and date rape her because you can and because you're a crazy ass, you think her no means yes.

•You are a TEST-icle. And A Text'-icle
You re terribly irritating with silly sexts, and texts, you never call, even after six months, you just sext,over and over and over,  then you enjoy testing her out with silly games using your friends, you actually enjoy testing her out by setting her up with some guy then spy on her to see if she will fall for it, just to test if she fits into your ideal girlfriend material. Guys, everyone hates being tested, its not funny and its a big turn off..plus the first thing you did after she gave you her whats-app number is send her a dick pic'. Loser Behaviors!


Truth Is, When You're shady, When Your Social Behavior Is annoying, Your Gang-Best Friend's Are Downright Immature , You Will Never See That Person You Liked, Again.

Sincerely
©Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl

Woman On Top Position

Being the Woman on top is being independent, and it doesn't mean you can go acting like some male, when you do, you are less likely to attract a MAN. and if you do, he will be feminine and a woose. [the umama characters]

A woman somewhere in the village has 7 kids,the husband left her, she feeds her children, clothes them and educates them, takes care of the huge farm, because she is a hard worker and she made a decision to be hard-worker when she could have chosen to be a hooker for quick money . She is, A True Independent Woman.

Yeah just because you are independent, doesn't mean you should 'rear' a scrub of a man- more so if he is not married to you, and unless he married you then got broke , good deal gone bad style - he is a damn Moocher sucking you out!

Being Independent doesn't mean you have to act like an ass when a fine dude wants to date you, no, It means you got your shit together and whether a dude comes or not, your life is valid and it can run as good.

Being Independent doesn't mean you can disrespect your man. It means rightfully respecting him and crediting him where its due. Respecting him if he is truly a real man. [and if he is not, WTH are you still doing with him?]

  

Being Independent doesn't mean you can sleep with 10 guys at the same time, it means you have your morals together, maybe even your legs together- most times [when not in a relationship].

Being independent doesn't mean you have to have a Prado outside your house, or a huge business, or a huge home, no that's being Rich. Independence means living 'within' your means, feeding your kids and giving then an education and being responsible without begging the presence of a man who doesn't want to be around during the struggles.

Being Independent Doesn't Mean You CAN keep a man in your house and baby him as he bums all day, all month, all year till Christmas. No. 

Being Independent Doesn't Mean you pay all the bills in that house when that guy just pints all his money! that's slavery if not desperation, independent women don't stay in bad relationships for the show of it or for the title! No. 

Being independent means, you do not have to go round sucking dirty dicks at the street corners to get some rent paid! i know life is hard, but still, decisions matter!

Being Independent means you do not have to beg your friends to contribute for your daily meals!

Being independent means that you do not do a merry go round in your friends houses looking for somewhere to sleep all through the month.

Being independent means you can pay your bills when you don't have anybody else to share it with.

Being Independent means that you can wake up the time you feel like because you can well do as you please!

Being Independent means you have made it to the top by being smart, without everyone in the company visiting your under-skirt and tearing your underwear!

Being independent means living within your means! and not trying to fit where you are evidently struggling and suffering and really borrowing!

Being Independent means you can remove bulbs and fix them without calling electricians. It means you can unblock your sink instead of sitting there and crying.

Being Independent means you can go out there and play football with your kids without feeling an inch of shame. You don't look to impress the neighbors. 

Being an independent woman means you can eat whatever the hell you want, go wherever you feel like, without having to take a loan or conning your buddies or stealing.

Being independent means living an 'honest' life, making honest money and living well, so that you do not embarrass you children in the future when they get to hear about it. or even killing your mama with a heart attack.

Being Independent girls, means you can freaking have sex with that boyfriend when you like , and not because the lame guy is horny and you must obey so that he can pay your 2000/-  damn water bill and buy you airtime.

Being Independent means that yes love, romance and boyfriends are great, but you can well survive without them and not cry over them like a little teen.

Being Independent means you can make your own rules, live by them, without some guy coming to make you rub them off. And you can as well break them, because they're yours anyway!

Being an independent Woman Means that the ONLY thing you chase is YOUR GOALS, not some woose for attention. It means you are happy without hanging around other people and you can do without them.

Being Independent means you can make decisions without a struggle, you can tell your friends you're not going out and that gets to be that! It means you are straight up and you don't dillydally when it comes to decisions concerning your time and your life.

Being Independent, Woman, means you cannot settle for BULLSHIT, you see bullshit, you hear bullshit and you drop it like a bad habit.

 

An Independent woman is the woman on top, who loves being on top in bed as well, she takes control and enjoys her moment. She is the CEO of her life, she runs it well, and fires any 'intern' not impressing her. An Independent woman has her SHIT held Together! ©

Sincerely,
©Njoki, TheGood-BadGirl™2015

Obey Your Zest.....Woman, Explore Thyself.

"A grown woman who doesn't know - and own her own body, doesn't know her likes and dislikes is like a newborn kitten which doesn't know if minced cooked meat smells better than a dead rat , while the one who knows herself -eyes closed, comes out as a tigress- straight to the game." NjokiC.

It's not only about pleasure, but about self awareness and self acceptance of your whole 'vehicle'. Men being the selected providers by nature and by the gods of the lands, especially the African gods, women are automatically the receivers and assistants or easier, helpers. You must help him find you , Impress, Satisfy You. When you appreciate your own self, you love your very soul and you wont have the time to envy other people's bodies, that you undoubtedly cannot possess even under witchcraft.

Being a full grown woman you must know what you want from your man. You must know when, how and where IT feels good, so explore thyself. If you do not have an idea of what feels good to you, how do you expect any other person out here to help you feel good? On the other side, you must be able to complete thyself and make sure you can come to glory alone, cuz if you cant make YOU happy at least, who will? No one wants a depressed character in their shelter, a cry baby,  no one want to be your psychiatrist or doctor, people want to make each other happy and not try sorting out your confusion and baggage from the past.

See, you cannot know or discover your 'body french language' when you never explore it, you can never know how to unleash your sexy, your seductive body style, when you don't even care to know about it and wait for some other person to come 'show you'. How do you imagine to be discovered by the one you love if you haven't 'discovered' yourself little lady? Know what makes you wild and how to get it out and where that guy can get it from - inside of you. You have to know your own body secrets and mind for the 'freaky you' to come out natural and without trying too hard. When you are sexually-emotionally intelligent, you wont waste time on dodo guys who cannot satisfy you wholly, you only keep the special person whom your body communicates with without saying a single word...

A fairytale or a Mexico soaps romance ideas wont work if its not envisioned in your mind then action-ed physically, it comes from the deep, you must perceive it first. To be ideal to the other person, you have to be ideal to yourself first. To be good in all this, and not only good, but impeccably great, you must posses some goddess self control and self love. The art of intelligently keeping 'em in your arms without them letting you go and without coming out desperate.

Let no one kid you, every partner including you and all the others like clarity, we all like knowing we are doing the right thing and not just touching, shoving fingers in and stroking anyhow, and if you can tell them where to kiss you, where to touch you, where to spank you - you make life hell lot easier for everybody in this helluva lazy world of today.

Discover thyself; do you imagine dying or becoming too old without ever knowing whether your G-spot actually exists or not. without knowing exactly where your pee comes from? without knowing exactly where a baby pops from , that is, in case you did not study Biology...? The chances of some guy helping you discover your hotspots are 0.05% - they don't even have time for that, you have to discover them yourself, otherwise this game will be only for himself and you will just be the 'means'

In fact very few of us - as a gynae will tell you, can actually reach inside our vijayjay to do the ovulation test, very few even go the pap smear test- many use kits since they are not 'comfortable' with their own God given bodies. Only a handful of women can dare stand stack naked in-front of their men, because they are too UNCOMFORTABLE in their bodies. Discovering and then accepting yourself takes guts, takes time and takes an open mind.

Last but not least, there's only one person that you can have a Till Death Do You Part Kind of relationship, and that is YOU. When you're ashamed of your body...you'll feel stagnant in everything. You wont even let anybody else love it. Love your body to identify most of yourself.

Femaleness Champion.

Njoki TheGood-BadGirl.

Shut Your Gob On A First Date!

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Of Faux Besties, Faux Amis And The Real Deal

From The Art of Worldly Wisdom “A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.”

Always Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, cuz it actually does, you got to love yourself before anything else, otherwise your relationships wont work in all angles of it...sometimes we get pressing personal issues and on looking around, there's no one to hear us out or help us with that particular thing, even those you party with are nowhere to be seen. Its that that moment that you realize that you're on your own, you've been on your own, and unless you're calling peeps for a party or for a drink, no one will be showing up for you in the time of trouble and struggles. 

People are not honest not even with themselves, so don't expect that quality in everyone you laugh with. Remember that 96% of the time, your best friend Has a best friend, who has a best friend, so you're or you maybe just another option. Keep your circle small or avoid by keeping it short and sweet. Most of these people don't really like you, they don't help you grow, they'll use you, discuss you, laugh at your pressuring problems then shamelessly come over to give you a hug. Love these people all you want, but live without expectations from them, haven't we seen family members running from their loved ones? same with close friends? who run when you get sick or when your "kingdom" falls? baseline is, all these people may betray you in the end. They say, if you want success don't tell your strategy to friends, your enemy will know and beat you to it. You just never know who is in sheep's skin.

Truth is; real people do not have lots of friends since most people will not like you when you tell them their shit in their face. When you have good bottomless flow of money and got loads of friends, chances are that your money has attracted them, call them rented friends, once you are out of the money, they walk out on you. Have it in mind that your group of sycophants can at any time turn into hungry hyenas and devour you to your end. You have to have the right set of eyes to know when your friends are just bullshitting around you. Haven't you seen a cocoon of "friends" using one of them badly?  using their money, borrowing their clothes, borrowing loans that are never refunded...etc?  It's too common, and the foolish one lets it happen, as long as she/he has some company, of which is complete foolery and bullshit, (bad) friendship don't pay bills or keep businesses running.

1.Friends who don't tell you when other people are discussing you, are not good friends, instead they chime in and wholeheartedly contribute to your fall.
2.Friends who never return things they borrow from you are "allowed thieves", complete moochers drop 'em.
3.Friends who take your stuff without your permission are pests. fumigate them.
4.Friends who always tell you how fat you look every-time are not supportive, leave them. they should help you get to the gym or get good clothes to fit your body.
5.Friends whose values and interests are not even close to yours, will not grow you, they'll waste your time especially when they have zero ambitions to charge them up. 
6.They only contact you when they need something, a crying shoulder?  or when you're throwing a party? they're just users. block 'em crisis callers.
7.When they're unreliable, why should you be reliable to them?
8.People who betray you in all angles, are not good friends. setting you up to whom ever and stuff.
9.People who tell your husband/boyfriend stuff you did 5 years ago, whether they're drunk or not, are not proper friends. kick 'em out
10.Friends who practically live in your house with zero contribution, and very comfortable to even brings guys/girls over without your permission, are just ticks, throw 'em out! 

Those who Detract, Discredit you, Distract you from important things, Minimize you, Extract your stuff, Dispose your ideas instead of listening first, Destroy your image in front of the multitude, Depreciate and Devalue you while still kissing your cheek are not friends worth your keeping.

Know people...take note on those who remain on your side when you are completely down and out. Real friends don't watch you sink in the Quicksand.

Sincerely
Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl