The Ladies Innuendos When They WANT You!

We are also humans, we love, we desire, we lust after and we want... and we are fall into just 3 categories, the others do not matter because everyone belongs somewhere anyway at some point.

▼There are 'Fisilets' who just like their male counterparts will "eat" anything as long as its palatable.

▼There are foxy 'Foxlets', they are sexy princesses and not easy to talk to, or even get through to, but they're nice and classy on their pedestal until you piss them off

▼Then there are 'Tigresses', very classy, forward, mature, dangerously sexy and very teasing, they take what they want and how they want it, very strategic and they're riders, of bikes, I mean, but this is not the main point.

Guys,  guys, guys these lasses won't tell you the truth about our INNUENDOS but its, June, its freaking cold and a colder July and August are at the corner waiting to devour all of us.  

•Guys,  when we invite you over in the context of a joke, please take it seriously, we are usually not joking, its June for Njoki's sake and its getting colder... it seems like it gon' be raining ice. 

•Guys listen,  it doesn't matter whether You think we do not like you or otherwise, when we text saying our laptop crashed please ask to come around and look at it, again,  its cold,  we need supermen in our miss independent houses, we usually would love to depend on you, if you start coming when we innuendo it.

•Guys, you will be getting all weird requests like "aki aerial imeangushwa na mvua na care taker hayuko, aki si am bored... bloody go boy! and be the superman, there is a good reason why you get chosen to get that info, otherwise we'd pay anybody else... 

•Guys,  guys guys... never ever suggest that a girl doesn't like you to her,  she will stop liking you all together, you usually sound like a wimp,  don't kill the vibe with "I thought you don't like me, you act like you don't like me since you no longer like my post" ..LOL... even if you will make your own conclusions, keep them to yourself..if a girl doesn't like you she will never text you back under the sun even if you send her 10k.

•Guys,  its cold out here, when we stop commenting on your posts like we did before we inboxed til midnight,  we do not stop because we no longer like you, we stop because we are afraid to comment in lovey dovey words and the haters might find out just how much we like each other!

•Guys, When you're called to go "murder"  spiders, ladybirds, nonexistent snakes and cockroaches, GO! 

•When she tells you via texts that she thinks there's a Ghost in her house and she wishes God to send a guard -Ian angel,  she means You boy!  go and watch over the damsel! just text back "I could come" and she will be jumping on her bed in excitement.

•If we are frequently calling for no particular important reason, we just want to make you feel comfortable in calling us any other time, we are trying to relay that we like you as much as you do us.

•When we invite you for lunch, its not that we are great cooks, we just want to see YOU there, yes you, so don't start with you're going to the village, just drop by for even 30 mins that may turn into a night anyway. 

•When we touch you overly, touch your face and shirt, and your hands, hold on you and let you hold our hands on the streets... and we are not even lovers, we definitely like you, you've qualified and we've already thought of other things beyond the touch, including a wedding.

•When we answer your naughty texts and vibe, when we care enough to call you back, we definitely like you back, no matter what you may be thinking.

•When we suggest that you could be married or in a relationship, we are just looking for a confession,  give it, make our work easier so that we can know what sort of relationship we will keep with you.

•When we involve you in our lives, give you details about us and how our day was, we like you already so please go get your confidence and do the rest!

...when she tell you intimately how cold she is... trust me she wants you to go duvet her like yesterday! we are women we do not tell this to every Kamau, Oduori, Kip & Musyoka! We are choosy and we choose to let specifically you, know, just in case you're interested to pursue.

Its not like women cannot be open and text you to come cuddle and sex up no, its just that you guys told us you like chasing, so we give you ideas for you to pursue, and it annoys us when you act all foolish not getting into our language of "I wish you were here" "I wish you could just come over" "I wish you were mine" you actually make us believe you're a dummy. somehow. 

When a girl that you like likes you, she will give you ideas and opportunities to prove yourself, to show up and play that role. Don't just sit there, go help her with the nonexistent TV issues.

Guys, I've told you the codes, help yourselves this season, its dang cold get that girlfriend!  😊.

Yo' Girl,
-NjokiGoodBadGirl.

Why The Saintly Perfect Wife Changes And Cheats

Yes, the perfect, well maintained, women with everything at home [except an available man] do cheat, am sure you have heard of so many unbelievable cases by now ! City players go and fish the good girls from the village side, they are brought to the city, get three kids, and end up playing out all bad-ass and cheating at some point. 

The Good saintly well behaved church girls who start very well and end up playing all boorish, cigars & lighters, hard drinks, chronically unfaithful and at times very very abusive. BUT! it is never their fault, lets blame the man for ignoring and disconnecting the physical, sexual, emotional needs. 

You see, men are run by the the psycho analysis Madonna- Whore complex propositions, [and most are not aware of this fact] ... they love, they adore beautiful hot themed women, but they do not 'respect' them enough to wife them up, they believe these types of women are only great for sex and party time trophy show offs, they are afraid that other men will steal the hot women if they marry them, so they 'save' them for the 'fun'. 

These confused men go ahead and marry the 'good innocent looking girl' the 'luke-warm' kind of girl ...and then plan ahead of time to cheat with the "Hot ones" those that are not his idea of marriage materials, coz in his mind, they're sexually dirty, very impure to marry, they even have an uninformed idea that beautiful light-skinned women cannot cook or wash or even push a baby out...haven't you heard the stupidly men saying 'marry the innocent ones, and have fun with the hot ones'?


97% of these men marry the "holy Mary" kind of a woman one that they cannot gratify their painfully dirty sexual fantasies with. This is the reason a newly married man who has known you like forever will keep texting you when he is on honeymoon. Their goal is to get a woman to start a family with, one they assume has not explored the sexual world, one they believe is untainted, great cook, one who will impress his parents, the subservient and angelic in all manner. Then after saying 'I do' day, they turn back to the self-chosen reality of sexual frustrations, unexciting lives and cheating ideas.

These dudes then get a side chick to fulfill the sexual emptiness with, hot side chicks to show off, fun to be with females to catch a joint with, and the same characters call these side chicks 'hoes' and Bs, which makes me wonder who these males call themselves, probably 'cool men'...? Okay.

Drama then unfolds, the angelic women they married end up feeling rejected, unwanted, uncared for, unappreciated, unloved, and greatly taken for granted since their husbands assumed the freaky romance and bedroom games is not for them, since these men already set that sex for them is only when making babies, these good wives are then forced to turn to the nearest male, the gardener, the fine driver, the jobless neighbor...and the cycle continues...Then the husbands complain that all women are cheaters...

These are the same type of dudes who will dump your ass when you unleash a new monkey sex position on them since its too 'whorish', they wonder who the hell taught you. These dudes expect you to only know the missionary pose and nothing else! They believe that this is the position that is ideal for wife materials and if you try to act experienced, you're shoved to the left. Unfortunately for them, women now know their misinformed deluded ideas of wife materials, the so many 'abusive' and 'transformer cutting' women were all innocent and holy, they only bring out their true monster after legally getting married and moving in...ask DNG and many others out here.

My Brothers, please marry the hot girl you truly like, if she loves you back, she will stop showing cleavage for your sake, wife that exciting girl who will be pole dancing for you in your bedroom. Marry a woman who can suck your toes, do not mistreat an innocent girl who doesn't like the idea. Marry the model who walks the way you like. Marry the light-skin girl that you truly love. Marry that open-minded chick that is open to catching a joint with you, don't go wasting a 'conservative's' woman's time...and insult her goodness by cheating on her and infecting her with diseases, its unfair!...remember the garden estate love triangle and shooting story...same problem! look at the many cheating men, look at their wives and who they are cheating with...

And brothers, let not the holier than thou attitude deceive you that most women are not secretly freaks. This world is full of surprises. 

P.S Pick your flowers wisely...

You can thank me later boys...

Yo' Girl,
©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2016

Slut-Shaming Cheryl

Model Photo Credit:Harry Hirani Photography

Now that the storm has calmed down, please leave Sheryl alone, stop texting her, stop calling her a hoe, stop trolling her social media, men have sex all the time even with women double their ages and no one calls them names, but not me, I do call them whatever they present themselves to be, if a woman is  a slut for having two boyfriends one her age and the other older, men are sluts too if they act the same. On this note, girls, remember that you cannot change a man-hoe into a husband, he gon' cheat on your ass till you get a heart attack...and he'll probably leave you a widow coz the many women in his life will poison him.

If there's anything Sheryl can be accused of, it can only be the two timing, of which I hear her boyfriend says that he's okay with it. Sheryl and her boyfriend seem to have been in an open relationship where people can have other partners when they wish to, so see, its none of your business what men women choose to DO business with.

But WAIT! What did you expect out of Sheryl when you are busy GLORIFYING the Nairobi Socialites, making them famous everywhere, making them role models on TV, praising them for "dreams and goals well achieved"... "women who get paid for going out on dates with wealthy men"..."women who say they are paid to go show up at a club and pole dance a  bit" ... "women who appear almost nude on music videos" when the men are warmly dressed in the January heat, seriously people, what do you expect the little girls at 20 years old to think these too many young girls stuck like glue at 21 in Nairobi are getting money from? Money to wear expensive Brazilian hair weaves, drive big cars, go on vacations from USA to Nigeria and so on. 

In any case, there's nothing wrong with dating an older man, in fact its the most acceptable thing in the world, little girls have been married off in Kenya to old Mzees down in the villages and YOU people do not talk about that part since its not juicy enough to destroy someones self esteem huh... and you're here insulting Sheryl for getting a man with a 20 year age gap just because the man was "Rich and Famous" and now dead, who cares! 

When individuals date partners who are years apart, much older or younger than them, its never so much about age disparity but about the maturity levels of parties involved. Haven't we seen Hollywood celebs marry older men everyday? 

Girls, go date granpa' if you like them old, wrinkled and grey, whatever your cuppa tea, go have it, these boys got sugar mummies everywhere breastfeeding them, driving their cars and no one is shaming them, at least you can give an old man children, will you boys give the old women tadpoles?

Some of the men who are speaking on this issues are actual men-hoes who sleep with different women every day, the half-pints in campus who've slept with the whole hostel block, whippersnappers who are living in older women's houses and no one calls them the name they deserve! Women are human too, they love sex as much as you men do love it, we are human and get the same feelings of lust and desire, give this girl a break!...On this note I hope Sheryl used the big money to do big things like buying a piece of land, paying for  her education, and not buying phones and make up so that she can have something to smile about as you unreasonably insult her.

Girl's who are busy shattering Sheryl world, shame on you, you are 'sufferings' & just jealous people who got issues within, and since you have no avenues of getting 'rich' men to fund your luxuries so as to live - as broadcast by National TVs; Hudah and Sidika does, you're getting bitter and coming all over social media to slut-shame this poor girl! Just leave Sheryl alone! Its not like the billionaire was a boy, and whats wrong when a Billionaire decides to throw his money around willing women who are over 18?...Sheryl wanted an older man and there's nothing wrong with this, teenagers have been marrying 50 year olds since Satan was a toddler, if y'all were so righteous am waiting to hear you shame the old men who marry teenagers in your village!

I know the girl's who are hatin' can't wait for when a rich man will be hittin' their Inbox for a hook up! Well, evidently...

People get a life and let Sheryl spend her 'pension' in peace! Harassing her wont pay your bills! TSK! 


©NjokiGoodBadGirl!™2016

This Line "I Have A Boyfriend"!

The way some girls like replying to guys who greet them with "I have a boyfriend" you'd think this "boyfriend" is some deadly lion, you'd think this "boyfriend" has already met her parents and proposed, you'd even think that this "boyfriend" is that 'fanya fujo uone' cop working the guy in the green hoodie.

This is the scene; You're beyond 25 you have this dude that you go "out" with, get wasted and have mad sex with and swallow emergency pills for so that you do not disrupt his life with "an unwanted baby". This boy is probably 32 years old, you have never discussed the terms of your relationship or whatever you are both into, nor where its supposed to be going, both of you have no discuss-able relationship goals, you're just there, a cycle of going out, getting drunk and having sex, he has never mentioned, leave alone promised to marry you or allow you to move in for a 'comewestay'. This little shaver doesn't even know where you actually come from, leave alone your middle name. He comes to your house for all the fun, you do not know where he lives neither where he came from before landing to your hostel room at Ngara.

If such a boy has not shown any signs of taking your relationship into another level, please don't go yapping to other men that are attracted to you and showing interest in you with respect, with how much "you have a boyfriend". 

When you're truly NOT interested in some dude, don't say you have a boyfriend as if this boyfriend you have is some Tear Gas, just tell the guy to eff off.  That boyfriend you're busy making a choir about is just that, a boyfriend, who could be a passing wind. 
Sometimes the guy who's hitting on you will be ugly AF or just stinking dirty, and there's nothing hard in telling the bloke that you're not interested upfront instead of wasting time. Tell the truth instead of some cooked convenient lies just to feed your 'I have a man' ego.

So why are you helping your said boyfriend 'claim you' when he hasn't made you his official girlfriend? you never know when he's going to kick yo' ass to the curb for a fresher chick. To spare yourself future loneliness please date other people as long as you do not think, dream, foresee any light of future togetherness at the horizon with the one you are currently sleeping with, as long as he has not TOLD you that you're HIS, as long as he has not proposed asking you to be HIS, keep the "I have a boyfriend" line to yourself.

When it doesn't 'feel' like its going anywhere, its definitely not.

If you have the aforementioned kind of a boyfriend that you're unsure of;

•When a gentleman out here asks to buy you coffee, lunch & dinner, don't decline. Go eat!
•When a gentleman asks for your name, don't insult, answer!
•When the gentleman asks for your number, give him the one without whatsapp!
•When a cute guy at a bar/restaurant asks to sit at your table, let him!
•When a guy greets you. Be mature & answer correctly, do not go with' I have a man'...You never know he might just have the best conversation stimulation you've ever experienced! 

There are mature ways of letting a guy know that you're taken and you can always do that when you're down at the Java taking that coffee that he bought. Don't just violently ignore people, you never know where you might meet them.

Some of these guys who risk getting your 'I have a boyfriend' song  were just passersby who were just appreciating your existence. They know you might have a boyfriend who's taking you for granted and they just want to give it a shot at making you smile. Furthermore any man you talk to and laugh with doesn't have to be your husband, he can be the best male friend you've ever had.

Give the Mafisi's some slim chance. Hear them out. You might brush off a soul mate, because, in any case, if this boyfriend you have was that serious about you, he'd make sure you know about his seriousness, he'd make things simple for you and give you some certainty in being his woman.

I have found out that men do not care even after you narrate how much you have a boyfriend, to most of them it sounds like "Challenge Accepted" it sounds like "Well, lets see" 

Food for thought: do you sincerely think your boyfriend announces to every beautiful girl he meets out here that he has "you"? do you....?



Your Girl,
©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2016

Women, SEX And A Cocktail

“A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times”

First, let it stick to you like glue that we are all sexual beings, sex is NOT a sin, God created Everything and saw that it was good. It’s just that it’s the easiest way to bring man’s kingdom down like its a house of cards, sex is the easiest way to tempt and cause you to commit bigger sins. 

No one will tell you these things in this country but I, Njoki the bad and good girl, is honored to give you an ultra-awareness of your sexual self as raw as it is, as raw as I have experienced and as raw as I have been taught, that it. Its end month, its raining, its Freaky Friday you can thank me later.


There’s this ‘feminazism’ going on that only men have the testosterone to keep them horny 24/7! Well I got news for you, men and women equally get horny, and it’s just that women know how to hide their ‘boners’ more, or let’s say there's no boner to show. We are just good at shutting it off and ignoring it better than men do.

 The only way you can tell a woman, your lady bff, your wife is horny is by observation and listening well, innuendos are thrown here and there and only the best of the Fisi grabs this as quick...and by the way, as you guys call yourselves 'Mafisi' WE are the Tigresses, the few of us who can 'ride a an ox' at a high speed, those of us who can go get what we want, those of us who obey, love and respect our sexuality or even our thirst. Great!

We are women we equally get horny, and worse for us, it’s a 'call' by nature for us to go ahead, 'mate' and reproduce other tiny little humans that look like us who will also get horny and continue the species...that's why if you look carefully, you'll find out that most of the first born's among'st us were a "small mistake" that just slipped in and made daddy marry mommy. Because HORMONES! that have little voices that tell women to go make  a baby already...yeah....I know the real honest ladies are feeling me. 

Women get more intense feelings of getting laid than men do, or fairly, we get them in equal measure...we will do all sort of crazy things including laughing at lame jokes from a bang- able looking dude because the freaky hormones wont let us think straight.

So guys, let no body call you nymphs any more, no one is a nympho here, its all natural, as long as you leave the chickens, dogs, children and cows alone, people were created to reproduce and y'all should go reproduce coz that’s why sex was created in the first place. Oh yeah its Friday is cold, its is a super freaky Friday! and a cold weekend ahead. Babies are going to be made tonight! Some will be regretted in a few weeks, others will be great traps so that sponsors can cough up big abortion money!

How do women behave…

•In some date in a month, every. Damn. Month, we become the walking 'victorias', we just feel empty and just want something, something huge to fill us up [basically a penis] any that won’t make us pregnant or give us Aids and STIs. But due to the fact that men do not care whether we get pregnant or not, we put loud music, take a skipping rope and do 100 skips to chill the hell out the hormones. In fact, some of us do not need secondary hormones or alcohol to get us high, we naturally get high on these particular periods.

•We feel intense frustrated when we are single and no close clean, trustworthy human to ‘Christian Grey us’ to immobility, such that we even start crying out of nothing or start fighting  for clothes hanging lines with other women at plot 254 just so we can put that important energy into good use.

•Our lips, hands and lips and everything down-south pulses, pulses and pulses and pulses and pulses and pulses all we can think of is 'when the hell will I freaking get laid'! Where’s this nigga at! Or do I buy one already?' ...and you'll find a man saying he is tired, this is the reason your lady will grab your shamba boy and do him, and men, you'll be raising the shamba boy's kids! Female Hormones are the real demons. I even think this is the reason the demons oppress women mostly.

•The south cast cats swell up, the southern flowers blossom, get crazy and purr at any fine lads passing by and all we want is raw 'plantains and cucumbers' for breakfast, lunch and dinner and nothing else can help! Guys we get as desperate as you do, it’s just that we are so clever that we turn things around and make it look like you are the ones who wanted to hit it first. Like, we show you a thigh then walk away so that you can chase us and then accuse you of making us have sex... when it’s exactly what we were praying for.

• In a more real picture, we 'eye rape' every attractive man we see. Like; a fine dude sits next to us in a bus and we'll lean over and pretend we are dozing off just to catch that warmth! We devour with our eyes and we do not like distractions from the devouring…and if the guy makes a mistake of just touching us…that’s it, hell must come up. This is why you'll find  a woman sleeping with you the first date and then disappear from your life for good. It was just a hormonal mistake. Blame the hormones!

• Our brain goes fuzzy…we don’t want to think…we get easily irritated…we find ourselves sexting with assholes we don’t normally reply to….and such like a bit desperate measures.

• For some of us the thinking comes into a halt, the mind just goes down the gutter and everything anyone says to us just sounds like penis, penis, penis and penis! 

BUT! the good thing about us is that when you love and appreciate us we love you back and wait till you come from Saudi Arabia for even over 6 years! We don’t cheat. Women are faithful beings. Well, most of us are. If one cheats on you she never truly respected, honored you from the beginning, she just wanted  a 'Ruracio' to happen for the sake of being applauded. 

Contrary to what we’ve been taught, that men are the sex predators, that men are the ones who always want sex, women too are as much crazy, we desire to get nutted into is as much as the nutters want to nut! Haven't we even heard of women who've raped men!

There are those times of the month that we become the walking vaginas, and when you get close enough, you can smell the sex hormone oozing out of our skin! [its that nasty!]…we just want to get shoved, kicked a bit, tied, handcuffed, banged like crazy, and anyone coming between us and the getting laid is an enemy of nature!… That's is why you'll find your woman starting silly fights with you...just grab her, arms behind her back and Wood Work, she will shut up.Let me know how it goes...

Am sure you’ve seen how desperate a woman is usually is when seducing a man…you’ve heard lately of village house helps who are sexually abusing small boys for their own sexual satisfaction here in Kenya and beyond borders, making small boys go down on them licking and such shit...Did Team Mafisi introduce the village house-helps to eating and licking chocolate lollipops? If they did, they shall need taming!... and these women should be shot for abusing little kids when we have horny grown-ups out here 'getting violet balls' from dryspells!

Why don’t we just say we want to get laid?

1. You guys are freaking judgy and we are afraid that if we are straight up with you, you’ll think that’s what we do with all guys!

2. You guys do not understand that we are equal, that we are humans and sexual feelings 
overwhelm us, and you might think we just want to transmit some nasty disease when we are too forward!

3. We are so afraid that you’ll call us horny hoes!

4. It’s not yet really ‘normal’ for women to say they are horny!

5. You guys always think it’s immoral to be horny!

6. You guys do not take us seriously!

7. We don’t want to be taken advantage of!

8. We do not want to look like we do not have self-control!

9. When we do not have official boyfriends, we just opt to chill! We like having sex with men we own, and well, most men do not want to be owned.

10.We have vibrators in the drawers. [I don’t though]



Women can be, no, ARE freaks too, some of us are tigresses, lady in the street, mother in the house and a gymnastics-stripper in the bedroom. Don’t judge us since we know that this is exactly what every one of you desires.

Yo' Girl

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2016

My Buddy Is A Bedroom Bully!!!!

I get several questions in my mail and FB inbox, pretty girls torn between agreeing into the new school FWB/Fuckbuddy unions and walking away. I am glad that you girls get the courage to ask for big sisters views! I got your back ladies! Some y'all hate me for telling the raw truth, but its okay, am cool with that.

Now, women are emotional beings. That’s why arguing with them is useless most of the times because they know how to manipulate that win, don't joke. But then again, women do not use this power when it comes to emotions, relationships and love. Matters of the heart and brain become algebraic when a hot dude with a bulge gets in the room.

Many Girls out here are busy acting to be fine with men are putting them in the "Open Relationships" zone, but later on in their lonely coaches and beds they’re crying a river out of loneliness, despair, feeling unloved, disrespected and uncared for, just because they accepted a stupid deal where in truth, they are the only ones who lose, Men don’t lose in these things since they can separate sex from emotions.

1."Friends with Benefits" 
2. "Fuck Buddy" "Shag Mate" 
3. “Swinging Buddy”
4. “Booty Call”
5. “No Strings Attached”

  Be Honest With Your Selves Girls.

All the above labels mean the same thing. There are words to license your promiscuity or allowing yourself to be used with YOUR permission depending on where you are and who you are body-partying with, their difference is the same. Whatever your number is, he can booty call you anytime. 

When you’re his fuck buddy, a shag mate, you’re not even friends, you just have meaningless sex and that’s it, no talking, in fact after that, the guy just wants to get rid of your ass!
Swinger partner is just him swinging between you and your best friends and you cannot say anything about it, in fact he can call for a six some if so he pleases and you can go drown in a puddle if you don’t want it! 


Girls, I got news for you, when he tells you that he is not ready and that’s why he is putting you in these zones, think again, this is the same guy who will meet another girl , better than you, bitchier than you, one who doesn't take his foolishness and marry her in two weeks...so, it’s not about him not being ready for a SERIOUS relationship, it’s about HIM NOT Loving you enough to see you as girlfriend and eventual marriage material, it’s about him not valuing YOU!

Girls, you got to stop thinking that accepting this kind of bullshit makes you "COOL"  "A BAD BITCH" and “MODERN” it doesn’t, it makes you stupid and makes you do bad 'bitch', {and why do girls like referring to themselves as bad bitches? the hell?}...  it only wastes your time and lowers your respect bar! Imagine all his crazy ass friends will know you are his 'fuckmate' that one he doesn't really take seriously, that girl he will never take to see his mama... and when you are his friend with benefits, meaning he pays you for accepting his stupid bedroom bullying deals, girl, you're just a nice hoe who doesn't have an exact price for him, so he gives you what he can. 


You know what, if you’re gonna “sell” the cookie you better sell it at a very high price [coz friends with benefits is 'quietly' selling pussy} , sell at a very high price such that can pay for your degree, buy expensive clothes, scents and bags, pay your rent or buy you a home and cars just not for free or 2 beers, coz you’re not gonna sell pussy till you’re 90. We cannot have cheap hoes! If your body is that cute to be used by the richest homie in the hood, make it your Business Empire. That’s the only way you can call it win- win. Being in these lame relationships that only gets you a stupid dick and a dose of morning after pill, is not a win- win situation, it’s rather a stupid lose- lose package. There’s absolutely nothing that you are working towards and that’s moronic.

After girls like you go home, you wanna take rat rat and die, you slit your wrists, coz you are emotional and you want to belong, you want that guy to love you, hug, you, cuddle with you, respect you and eventually marry you, but since y'all in open relationships YOU are not ALLOWED to say what you want, no, let me rephrase, YOU are NOT ALLOWED to want to say what you want, he dogs on you as you watch, he 'sucks' with your enemy as you watch!

You know what, good news is there’s nothing a nigga can do if you refuse to subscribe to their nonsense, in fact, they will respect you, hate you, then leave you the hell alone. Be the queen you were made to be, so they can either take it or leave you alone plus your power, don't give it away!

Bottom line is engaging in open relationships that makes you feel disrespected and demeaned most of the times is pure donkey shit. You know why? Because these guys who ask you to be in open relationships and be their fuckmate won’t like it when you’re actually fucking with their friends like they fuck with yours. It’s always a hook and sinker to make you allow him to go shagging with whoever he likes as you keep faithful, see, no man will allow you to go messing around! who wants a licked lollipop anyway? 

In any case, a guy will play and party with your body until the next hot thing passes by and Bam! You’re dropped!  Would you rather stay in a lodging or get your own house?... see, when someone violently fucks you and leaves as he wishes without emotions or any responsibility towards the whole engagement, he is using you as a ‘lodging’ and not as his ‘house’ that he has to be responsible for its upkeep. You get me? 

Ladies, I am a Woman and I know we do not like sharing, we do not like sharing stuff like spoons and face powder sponges! Why the hell should we want to share a D in full knowledge? see, open relationships are like a huge Ouija Board, the rules keep changing without alerting us, big evil half-truths come up and you do not know if you should believe them or run, emotions run wild. 

Before accepting bullshit deals from men, consult your emotions, brains, heart and know whether you're ready to have it shoved down your throat.

Stay single if he cannot love you honestly and be exclusive and if you cannot stand lonely sad nights when a guy you're shagging uploads photos of himself and other girls don't engage in stupidity. 

Don’t get played. Life's too long when you make bad decisions.

Yo' Girl,

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2016

Do You Love Yourself Enough To COMMUNICATE What You Want?

We are living in a generation where people are getting depressed if their semi-nude photos do not get enough likes, still, the same people are taking the short end of the stick in their real lives, accepting stuff they do not deserve, accepting less that they're 'paying' for. Some people insult others all day, they are lions in their web life, but they cannot even tell their partners they do not eat madondo, they'd rather eat the baked madondo from the supermarket under duress, making faces and complain later when passing the foul gas is out of hand! 

Confused clueless, anxious, nervous youths biting their nails in their own film of life which they can easily direct.

PHOTO-CREDITS; HARRY HIRANI

The girls and women do not want to say upfront what they want. They are just taking anything that’s given including “Club dates” "WhatsApp Dates" "Twitter DM Dates" "FB Inbox Dates" "Show Me Your Tits On Skype Dates"  and  finally “In the Keja Dates” to have sex and then 'divorce' on Tuesday when the guy doesn't text back to confirm that sex was off the hook and if they're now the 'official weekend wife'. 

Most girls & women want serious exclusive committed relationships, but then again they’re not saying it from the word go, they are not putting it on the table, they are not stating their terms and conditions of tagging along on the journey to nowhere with a guy they do not know very well.

Women are comfortable hallucinating a relationship without knowing the guy well, what he does, where he lives, or even his second name, they only know his street name 'young money' because he drives around the hood with daddy's car. Women are afraid of asking the questions that matter, like names, where he lives, where he works, his ambitions, his hobby, his favorite food, his place of birth[lest you're related], and instead women are more concerned on things they shouldn't like; looking at his shoe size so as to guess the size of his Dick, women are more concerned by the size of his fingers that they've been told give ideas on the size of the willy, they're busy looking at his tongue so as to imagine other dirtier things, and at the same time the men are clever enough to know what category of woman they will put you in, and when they will kick your ass out of their lives the minute they see how you as a woman is driving it away without even asking his 'destination'. When you want to guess and imagine they have married you just because they brought you a Mzinga, men let you go ahead.

Men always say it squarely something I have to give them a High Five for! A man will very well tell you he wants to be friends with benefits, a man will say he is not ready to get into a relationship [and get this right, it’s not like he’s not ready for a relationship, it’s YOU he is not ready for a relationship with], a man always say when he’s looking to marry, a man will always say when he just want to have ‘fun’ so that if you want to leave you can freaking LEAVE!

...But the women are afraid that if they stated their truths, poured their hearts out honestly on the specifications of what they want and looking for, the men in question will run!...Isn’t it better if he runs and spares your time?….and then in the end when they’ve been in ‘friends with benefits’ for twelve years the girl complains of having ‘been used’, her time has been wasted…girl, you participated! 

There’s nothing sexy as a person who knows what they want, when and how. But women here are choosing to live on walking on eggshells and sinking sands not knowing exactly what they are into, not knowing when it will sink in or crash…women in their 26th, 27th year, 30th year are satisfied being unsure of ‘what it is’ , not knowing ‘where things are going’ and are realizing it was a game a century later.

Whats so hard about telling a guy that you're working towards a relationship that brings forth a 'Ruracio' , a healthy relationship that will see next year, that will see you meeting his parents? If he's not yours he will still leave even if you pretend you like being his 'fuck buddy'. Accepting his shoddy terms doesn't make the guy rate you high.

If he has guts to ask you to be his 'fuck-mate' you should have more guts to say that is what you were praying for or that is NOT what you're looking for...and when you can't say it, just block his ass on every social media, he will get it.

If you just want to play SAY it, confident people say it every day and those who are not interested in playing the game leave them every day, its not neuroscience. If you want to be exclusive, say it! If someone lies from there then you can accuse them for leading you on. Otherwise SHUT it.

Don’t start the silence games and over-texting asking where it’s going, asking him if you're now his official girlfriend and if he loves you thirteen SEXscapades later….seriously!

Yo' Girl
©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2016

Making Your MAN Lazy, Calling Him Baby& Babyboy, what is he, 3?

The adjective meaning of the word “baby” is ‘comparatively small or immature of its kind” refer to your online dictionary.


If you’re over 5 years, please don’t smile back when ladies calls you ‘baby’ baby what! Are you in adult diapers?! Men, stop accepting being infantilized for Christ's sake!

Let’s internalize the fact that the term ‘baby’ depicts, ‘a small helpless human’. Being called baby is infantilizing.  Men have not only accepted to be called ‘Babies’ but they’ve also accepted being called ‘baby-boys’ and being complemented as being cute. Please, do not let musicians lie to you just because they sing about ‘baby boys’ - they are selling music, while you’re being disrespected.

Men, always suggest a pet name for you. Do not allow women to brand you “baby”, are you a man-child? An overgrown baby? If you are not one, why do you accept to be called “baby” a man with beard for Pete’s sake!!!? If anything a 'baby' is just some general name and she might just be calling you baby when she is actually thinking of some other thirteen annoying "babies" that she has, or it could be that she already forgot your legal name. 

Being called "baby" is being minimized into an infant and I think this is the reason so many grown men are acting like children out here. Men who do not want responsibilities claiming they’re too young to be responsible enough to take care of kids they sire or even hold down a job at 27, and it’s your fault women! You have been infantilizing these grown-ass men since the setting in of the new millennium! This infantalization is the reason a grown 22 year old man will literally run away from a frog and a moth  if not his own shadow!

Men, y’all need to get your girls to call you by your very own suggested pet names, e.g, Black hammer, Big Bear, Movie star, Soldier, Lion, My Buffalo, Anaconda, Womb raider, ATM, Care taker, Dial-a-Rent, perm Donor, Big sausage, Magic stick, Batman, Popeye,Captain Johnny or even Big banana but just NOT that “BABY” and “baby boy” thingy.  Or even Chameleon if you lie most of the time.

Girls when you call a grown man baby you are making him feel like a little boy and that’s why you will continue paying his rent and buying his food, pampering him and soothing him up even when he does not respect you, as he sits on your sofa since you have made him get comfortable not growing up. In fact if you are rearing one in your house, a lazy bummer that does nothing the whole day and you still “BABY” him around, it is YOUR fault and you definitely deserve him. When you “baby” these grown men you make them have big bodies and infant brain. You make them have no crushing need to even hold down a job or even a simple 'take out the trash' responsibility. 

Lets show Men that we believe they are mature and can make decisions by themselves , that they can be held responsible, otherwise, you should let them go, coz who wants to marry and live a ‘big baby’ anyway?

Men please refuse to be called by this name, it’s really not endearing, and it devalues you especially if you have a visible beard and biceps. It’s dismissive and demeaning.

Being called ‘Baby’ is so second rate, its mediocre, tacky, too common and generally very stupid, ratty and tatty considering the age the person being called. 

Girls, give your Lover men responsible names like: “My King”… “My Emperor”… “Stud”… “Beloved”… “My Man”… “Mi lord” the last one drops some nobility, this will make him feel like THAT big title and when he has a good brain, he will be steered to act like it, and also he will reflect back and call you his “Empress” “His lady” and “Queen” these are big names that makes you feel and want to be responsible. There’s this dude that calls me his lady, he is just a close friend younger than I, but that alone makes me feel so damn good and respected, it makes me want to be more of a lady…it will work the same on you too…just like when someone implies you’re a thief, that you stole their pen… doesn’t it make you want to actually steal that pen so that you can be ‘accused of a true crime’….? Yeah, this catalyst made of ‘labels and references’ works with the same effect.

Mr. Man, do not allow girls to minimize you into a boy unless you are one, if you cannot be creative you can just ask her to call you Oga, Chief, Chairman, Mzee or even Long John, which are way better names because you will know it is YOUR reference. 

Just imagine a thread where ‘Facebook lovers’ text each other with ‘baby’ in every line…how do they look and sound? Intelligent? Petty?  Childish?  Immature? …. Yeah I thought so!

Just like being told you’re cute by women, cats are cute,  are you a cat now? The guys who can perhaps be called "cute" are the boys who plait their hair, those who say awwww! Every minute, and those that got ‘umama’ [as my friend Franco over there on FB calls it] …and of course those put up “cufflinks” on their ears.

Someone told me men are called ‘baby’ because they’re breastfed which is making them retain the infant mentality…well...

Seriously mature men never accept pet names like baby-boy, babe, bae, and baby….to be used on them especially publicly, unless you’re under 5 years, continue being babied by your woman, coz she most probably thinks you act like a baby, she thinks you are as incompetent as a baby is, and she probably thinks you are as childish, maybe that’s why you’re always complaining that she doesn’t respect you. 

Thank me later guys! 

Yo’ Girl,
Njoki,ThatGoodBadGirl

The Pussy-Zapped, Pussy Whopped, Pussified Kenyan Boy!

Just like the Dickmatized women, women who are under the control of the good voodoo wood, Men are also ‘pussified’ by the women’s voodoo punani, what we call ‘kukaliwa chapo’ nowadays, or ‘kuwekewa kamote’ in some cases, the witchcraft to keep you in that pussy, thinking about that pussy, dreaming of that pussy, talking and feeding that pussy, not cheating on that pussy, is real! Am sure you’ve witnessed it on TV.

Welcome To The Pussy Faculty.

Men have silently got themselves trapped into the female vertical smile for life! And I shall tell you about it. You find some lame guy who gets lucky, gets the pussy he’s been hunting for ages going all looney when he finally dips it in the cookie jar, he cannot think for himself, he even starts asking for permission from his lady before going to take a dump. You find a guy who finally finds a strong dominant woman, a lady in the street and monster in bed and after he gets laid, his brain fails henceforth…and that’s when the woman take the man card and put it in HER purse, and the man becomes cabbage! Or that Ding’oing’o thing.

These pussy flogged men allow women to mentally, physically, and verbally abuse them just because they got some pussy and just because they will be compensated by the pussy. That’s why there is ‘maendeleo ya wanaume’ it’s a group of sissified men, who cannot sneeze in their homes for the fear of being stroked by the “man of the house”---I mean the women they married. 

It’s usually not like this pussy is really great or magical coz; a good pussy to Johnny is a sloppy, slapdash, beat up pussy to Tom and Harry. It’s just a mental state, what and how the man thinks of the woman and or how the pussy is dominantly ‘served’ and most importantly how hard the humongous woman slaps and spanks her man when at it. The Whips and stones thing. 

Women, if you can quint it, pussify and sissify that man and he shall be reporting to you like he’s your son, but then again, who even want’s such a lame dude who cannot balance his life? Not me! But I am certain some y’all would love to control men like they’re some doggy to feel good about yourselves…

These pussy spelled men get controlled like five year olds, they are controlled by the pussy and the pussy owner, they live like slaves, they sniff on the skirts, they are told that if they do not hand over their paycheck together with the cash, they’ll no longer get that pussy swim at the deep end, and since they made pussy their god-master, they cannot imagine balancing their life without this pussy! These males cannot master themselves; in short they’re big time losers who in their simple pussified mind think they have the best thing in the world.

These sissified niggers will come to us; their female buddies, and start complaining how they are being disrespected back at home, they seek advice, and when they get home and see their lady, that ‘Ndume’ of the house, they metamorphose into a wet hairless sphinx, every word they had planned to speak to tame this woman evaporates and they turn into their puppet hood, they go straight to the kitchen to cook supper for their good pussy woman after apologizing for being 3 seconds late, they even go ahead and clean up their daughters and sons and change diapers since the only job the woman can do is spread pussy. They do all that as the Missus is sitting on her PC surfing the net, they go serve them and later in the night when its ‘bed-minton’ time, they dress into a nurse costume so as to role play, the woman with her whip, whips their ass black and indigo like it’s the 18th century slavery time, just so that he can get some pussy as the curtain falls …and most times, the missus gets too exhausted to give this glorious pussy to her slave. These types of boys make our ancestors toss and turn in their graves. 

If you are being pussy “maidified” and you are trapped in a pussy-whipped world, man, it’s your fault for allowing it in the first place. Mostly it’s the silly and lazy men who are easily ‘twattified’, real alpha males rarely take that crap! They understand balance. 

Don’t trust all these males who are bouncing like overfed cockerels on the streets of Nairobi claiming their wife is wicked and they need you as their side chick, they are just some big PUSS IN BIG BOOTS.

GUYS!!!! You Are Very Pussified and Wussified If…

•She makes you carry her handbag as she walks hands free in public!

•She has passwords for your Facebook page, and twitter, she even posts status for you status that say ‘I love my boo’ and inserts her photo therein. 

•You must call her three times a day to report what you are doing, where you are and with whom!

•You must ask her for permission before buying anything even your own underwear!

•When you’re getting pussy she inserts strap-ons and dildos in yo’ ass as she pleases, coz you so pussy soaked, you’ve to accept it!

•All your income [if you got any] goes to the ‘Joint account’ that she controls!

•She physically fights you at home and makes sure the neighbor hears that she pays the rent, as she throws your stuff I mean your two T-shirts down from 8th floor! as you stand at the door with your briefs!

•She no longer speaks and talks to you she YELLS at you anytime anywhere! Even in the middle of your friend’s wedding vows session!

•With a little argument, you ass sleeps on the sofa!

•When you come home late, you are locked outside to go back where you came from!

•80% of the time you’re apologizing to her for stuff she did to you! SMH

•She is fond of humiliating you in front of your buddies or in front of her friends, just to prove she can!

•You must ask her for permission to wear what you want to wear! Which she won’t agree and instead gets you what you must wear!

•You paid the entire dowry but you still wash your clothes, iron your shirts, warm your food, make your tea,  as she watches Alejandro on Telenovela station!

•You’ve NEVER visited your Mama or sent her a cent, you never see any of your siblings and friends since you met her!

•You lost friends and family at her request! And left you with no friends to open your eyes!

•You have to wear the same color of clothes and shoes as she does when you’re travelling to her village!

•You CANNOT attempt to look at another woman, not even help her even if she fell on your feet!

 •She possessively holds your hands and practically drags you to walk at her pace like you’re her son!

•She makes you wear lip-balm and do ‘fair and lovely’ cream on your face coz you must look as she wants!

•She calls you ‘baby-boy’ ‘baby’ ‘babes’ and all that crap and like a starved pussy, you answer obediently!

•She must follow you to the barber shop and make sure the head massage girls do not touch you!

•You live at her house, you have no job, and you play PS all day!

•You answer her “Yes Ma ” when she calls you!

•You tell her she is your Mommy when she agrees to give you pussy!

•She makes you wear her thong, diapers, lipstick and her bras in the name of ‘fetishes’, just because you’ll get pussy at the end… SMH

How to STOP being Pussy-boxed! First, shame on you….

1. Don’t have babies yet. You’ll wash nappies which is more pussification!

2. Buy handcuffs……….BE. Very. Creative, “whip” her hard, very hard and she will never ever ever disrespect you and your manhood again in the name of good pussy! [thank me later]

3. Leave her, if no 1 fails. Go get a woman who respects you as a human being.

4. If all fails, you’re a loser, just stay and continue being abused and join “Maendeleo ya wanaume” sissy squad. Just in case she kills you, you’ll be sure they’ll make it public.

Men, women treat you how you show them to, you show people how to treat you! No pussy is too good to trade your manhood, your man card, your respect with! 

DEAR MEN wake up and start looking for your balls wherever you buried them! 

Pussy is overrated stop treating the disrespectful poontang owner like she’s squirting Holy Grail at the cost of YOU as a person! Women do not love you more when you let them pee all over you. 

PS: Go ask Lord Larro what happened when the woman ruled him. 

Its Yo’ Girl,

©NJOKI-ThatGoodBadGirl!™2016