Borderline-Retarded Swag!

Another generation Y problem! Almost everyone online is busy hanging their silly-ass tongue out! This is plain ugly, I don't know about you but it pisses me off to see grown-ass people display foolery in the name of "cool"! Nearly everyone on social media got their whole nine inch tongue out like a chameleon, whole tongue out ready to trap up some fly on their damn pictures, from Facebook all the way to Instagram! and those like me not doing it end up looking paranormal! What the hell is going on?!

Retarded Swag Selfies

This has got so serious that just the other day a teen online posted an all tongue-out selfie besides his dead grandfather's body in a hospital! hey, adults doing this, shame on you! this is your ill mannered example that these kids are busy copying! Please quit it already, its getting out of hand!

Do you have an idea how retarded it makes you look when you pop out out that tongue like a tired bulldog? whatever happened to just looking pretty when smiling! Girls, you look ridiculous especially if you are not a child or a confused teenager on hormonal challenge! its not cute, its not funny, its disturbing, its chronically fugly that it makes me feel like punching someone on the throat!

These nine inched tongue-out selfies not only look ludicrous on girls, there's a breed of men who are doing this, seriously guys? what happened to being all manly and handsome, just sitting back to watch fools do their loony exhibit? guys, if you consider yourself a man, please do not be found jutting your tongue out like a tired horse! Its absolutely NOT attractive! Its sad, and makes you look immature.

People taking pictures with all their fifteen inch tongue all out down to their chin are a disgrace, why do you even want to emulate a lizard, an ugly bulldog, or is it a  snake or a chameleon why for pete's sake? Hello! eighties and nineties kids, can we just be satisfied with the ugly duckface already? Hanging your tongue out does not add any extra pounds of "sexy", it makes you look like a moron who has lost control of their facial muscles!

People taking and posting these kind of ridiculous selfies could make you think they are casting for extras to play in the Walking Dead. Remember there are perverts who are hanging out at your timeline, when you go sticking out your silly tongue, it arouses them, its sends out some kind of sexual impression. Just sit still and think how much energy and time it takes you trying so hard to get a good angle for your tongue selfie, imagine how moronic you'd look if someone was taping you do all that then post your silly ass GIF on Facebook...i bet you'd either die of humiliation or be sent straight to the mental hospital by your relatives!

In all seriousness, your nine inched tongue out selfies make you look imbecilic, all dumdum, uneducated, its gross, and it makes you look limited in the head, please cut it off, its not a style, and tell your neighbor and buddies as well to abort the idea in the next flow of selfies cuz that swag is retarded! There's a reason why its only Miley Cyrus feels good overdoing it and not Beyonce.

Dogs stick their tongue out to either cool off on a hot day or if they have a tongue problem, lizards stick their sticky tongue out to feed, snakes use their tongue to smell food or buggers out, cows, dogs and cats to lick their ass clean, what the hell do you stick your tongue out for?

P.S.Thank me when you're thirty!

I'm Out!

Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl! ©2015

Guess What, She's Been Faking It Too!

Hey guys i hope you've had a good day so far because I'm just about to spoil it for you. Most guys will get out of the room all cocky and feeling like king Mswati right after deflowering! just because the new lady was creaming like she is on fire and brimstone. Guys, you have to realize that each and every woman you have laid has faked it at least 99% of the time, each and everyone of us have faked it. If you're planning to go bragging to your friends how good you made her roll her eyes last night, thinking that you took her to planet O and back, well, forget it brother, it was all an act that should probably win an award. 

A guy friend asked me why women fake it when they don't really have to, but you know what guys? you make us fake it, we end up suffering your drama since you guys will be like "did you like my D"... "I'm i better than your ex"... "did i make you..."... "I am i not fantastic"... "My Johnson is great right?" all this questions you ask because you are seeking validation and since we kinda love you, we just play along when you put the self seeking words in our mouths. We fake it solely for you! 

Reasons Why Women Fake It!

• We fake it for the sake of your ego! you always want to be congratulated! if we tell you the truth, you'll fall into depression! we fake it to protect you!

• We fake it so that you can finish quickly and get your friggin' 100kg off our body already!

• Most of you guys don't care if a woman is satisfied or not and since we know that well, we just want to get it done with!

• We fake it because you like validation and you'll not stop asking if you are better than the ex! [guys let us voluntarily praise you, don't pull it out of our mouths!]

• We fake it because you keep on asking if we are about to come under just two freaking minutes! 

• We fake it because not everyone can get it off in that weird style you're so into! and one you are not willing to change, you call it what? wheelbarrow?! or is it the cart?

• We fake it because we seriously do not want to offend you. Only "us" can make "us" get off with a bang!

• We fake it because we do not know what else we can do about it! since we never talk about what we did or what we want to do. Plus we do it at night, all lights out under the sheets and dusty duvets we cannot wait to get away from.

Since most people will not communicate in their relationships, they never do it even for the bedroom matters. People tend to just hop in bed and hump it away without a single exchange of word on how you both prefer it, something i would call dire lack of "sexual communication", its never really hard, you only have to make it all fun, it gets easier when and if you easily communicate with each other frequently face to face and not merely through social media and sms. Communication is KEY!  Most of us do not communicate about our likes and dislikes therefore we get all the crap there is to get. Everyone seems to be "afraid" to ask questions and suggest how they want it done, and not really afraid to get STDs and unplanned babies huh...! We got to get serious!

How Will You Know Your Woman Is Faking It?

1. If she has just finished off the same time as you, that exact minute? i'm sorry, she faked it! Its rarely happens on the same exact minute! women are slow.

2. If she has been moaning like she is in a labour ward, and her moans are not in rhythm with whatever you are doing, man, she is playing you! 

3. If her pupils did not dilate even a little, its all a sham! pull up your socks! [but then again, how will you even know if you do it in the dark from january to December? go to the sofa sometimes]

4. If she goes all loud like they do it on pornographic movies. That exaggerated noise, just pay attention [and actually stop and let her continue blaring like an old stereo low on batteries while you watch her], and you'll know its fraud! she's been playing you brother!

5. If she never ever initiates love making sessions, boy, you are on your own! she doesn't like your game at all. Both women and men have equal sexual needs. It's just that women are more 'disciplined'. The feelings are all 'counterfeit!' 

6. If her toes never curled and she jumped out of bed straight to the kitchen to grab a piece of ugali and cuppa tea, while her light-skinned face doesn't look flashed, boy, its a mock up, she faked it to death!

7. If you have never ever ever ever in your life felt her vijayvay make those nice contractions and give you a tight grip inside there, you have been played all your life! go jump in the lake son.

8. If your bodies fart as you play on, then she lies she is done when you are, well she is not, she is just thinking about that embarrassing noise you're making and thinking of when you will just stop it!

9. If her body has never ever indicated any rising when the moment comes. rising or vibrating like its exorcism, Mr man, she faked it!

10. If when you're done and in the next second she gets up and takes a basket ready to go to the market for kitchen shopping, or even to the shower, Man, you ain' done nothing yet. When that thing called the big O happens, humans are not supposed to move for at least 10 minutes! some even want to just sleep!

Girls, you don't have to fake it all the time, just ask him to change his silly ass style in a fun way...and if you have to fake it, fake it professionally! Fake the grip, the flashed face, curl your toes, rise up your ass and fake it till it looks like an exorcism since these guys like patting themselves at the back, just help them cheat themselves till kingdom come.

Thank me later! [winks]

With Love,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015

15 Types Of Man-Freaks That Should NOT Get A Second Date

Like me, I am sure you too have been to several dates with guys, and some of this dates were with guys you wouldn't want to meet again and have a ten minute talk with. Most guys think that just because they are wealthy and handsome, they can bore you to death with their selfish kind of me me me "communication" where they are only talking about themselves, what they have and what they want, more like they're selling themselves to you.

Most guys are left wondering why a certain lady doesn't pick calls or answer messages right after the first date. Well, you guys do and say a lot of stupid things at a date thinking "its cool" well, its NOT!  Girls, watch out for the below types of creeps at large! 

1) Ben the bad-boy- this kind of a guy will show you how bad-ass he is by insulting the waiter, and the parking lot steward. This guy will not be afraid to tell you how bad he beat up his crazy ass ex-girlfriend for breaking his beer mug. How much he gets to screw all girls in the estate without resistance, how much he even owns a gun and how much the most wanted guy by the police is his best friend... Guys, if you think talking about how much violent you are will get you all girls, you have failed. Girls, always listen to this type of a guy then run for your life. What you see is what you get!

2) The shameless big Dickson- This type of a guy will not be ashamed to tell you how big his dick is on the first date. He will tell you how much all girls love it and how much he will lay it nice on you so good that you will never leave him. This type of a guy will even bet with you so that you can give it a try at your place after the date. He will even suggest paying you off just to "have a ride on it" SMH... He will go ahead and show you the pictures of his dick so that you can believe. This one is a dick psycho. Leave him alone, he's got issues. Guys, we know you all have dicks, spare us on the first date freaks!

3) The honest Mr Unavailable- This type of a guy will not think twice to tell you in the first thirty minutes of meeting that he is NOT interested having a relationship at the moment, that he is not looking for a serious relationship or marriage and that he just wants you to be buddies. Well, girls, leave this type of a man alone, this is another way of telling you that he doesn't like you that much, as much as wanting to have a relationship with you. This is the type of guy that will still want to get laid after saying all that. He is not available for you, look elsewhere.

4) The Deeply hurt David - This guy will not stop telling how it hurt him that his five year old girlfriend fled with another man. He is very emotional, he will look truly hurt and almost crying as he speaks, he will evidently want you to console his bad-luck by going home with him. When a guy overly talks about his ex, it means he is not over her and if you accept his bullshit, you'll just be a re-bound girlfriend till his "angelic" woman decides to come back and that's when he will leave you like you did not exist. I once had a date with this kind of a guy, and i couldn't wait for the tiring date to be over! It's exhausting to listen to unhelpful silly information that you did not ask for on a date! I ended up knowing too much about his Ex than about him. Guys if you are not ready to start dating, don't invite someone to a date to murder them with your past, its excruciating annoying! 

5) The 'Serious' Interviewer -This type of a guy will probe you on the date wearing a serious face, he will ask you what you studied, whats your family name, what you scored in primary school, what you scored in O levels , and whether you attended certain schools, and he will not let you ask him since he looks and feels too brilliant for you. This guy will even ask you where you buy your clothes, whether you can bake a cake, whether you can make him happy, whether you can stop wearing your current type of clothes to what he wants. This type of a guy makes you feel like he is an interviewer who is already annoying you so bad that you're no longer interested in the job post. This one is a down-sizer let him go. He is a self announcing control freak, and unless you want to be controlled to death, run for your freedom.

6) The Needy Teddy - This type of a guy will not stop telling how weak he is, how he has had one difficult life growing up [things you did not notice or ask]. How much is uncles hate him and how much everyone thinks he is stupid. This is the only topic he has in mind. Guys please stop exhibiting your weakness on a first date [we DON'T care!]. Give a girl some chance to discover what she likes about you. The tactic of using your weakness to get into a girl's mind will not earn you a woman, it earns you pity. We want men who are courageous and confidence, no girl will want you when all you have is mouse talk and the "woishe woishe" business! We shall cross that river when we get there.


7) The IDGAF YOLO guy -This guy may not even be from the ghetto but he behaves like he doesn't recognize any manners on earth. He shows up at the date with a vest, he looks all sweaty and smelling. He greets you like you are one of his boys, he belches like he is your big brother, and he doesn't care whether it bothers you, he even reminds you that [utazoea baby] after loudly belching. He lets you know that you shall split the bill. He touches your food too trying to feed you on a huge potato with his dirty hands thinking that makes him look cuter and more romantic. He is completely gross! Who even wants to date an ill-bred unrefined jerk? Girls when you go to a date and find this, please ask to visit the loo and run for your life! What you see is what you'll get!

 8) The Testing Thomas - This guy will be well behaved at the date, but afterwards he will be disappearing on you like a magician. He will want you today, tomorrow he doesn't. He will answer your booty-call if you promise you are not on your period. He will be initiating a conversation but when you reply, he doesn't chat back, with this he is checking if you still have hots for him, testing to check if you can still dance to his music. Leave him, this jerk is wasting your time by keeping you as a plan D for the desperate times.

9) That Insecure Ian - This guy will not hesitate to tell you that you can never be seen with any other guy when you are his woman, because when you agreed to go to that lunch date you accepted his marriage proposal- according to his books. This guy will insult anyone who looks at you at the restaurant and cause a fight already! Guys, this is not the kind of protection we want! take a chill pill! Picking up silly fights doesn't make you a gentleman!


10) The Peter pan - growing up ain' fun this guy might be 44 years old buy he will still behave like he is 19. He never grows up, and you must accept him as he is because he will tell you all the nasty things he does. He will tell you right on the first day how much he faps on the sofa, because he doesn't want to marry and keep a woman at home who might steal his stuff. He wont hesitate to tell you that if you ever get pregnant it shall be your problem because he does not want to ever have kids. He will tell you that he wants you to be accompanying him wherever he goes so that he can show you off to his friends, and even suggests that you must be wearing booty shorts and heels at these meetings! this is a control-egocentric freak that you shouldn't give a chance! his shit will weigh you down if you're looking for a progressive relationship.

11) The Righteous Rodger -This guy is probably deep into religion, he doesn't drink ,visit clubs, hang out with crazy friends, listen to "satan's" music or smoke. He probes you to know whether you tithe, whether you help beggars on the street, whether you go to church every Sunday. This man is so righteous, he will even quote bible verses for you in order to convert you at the date. Guys guys guys, please give girls a break, the more religion fanatics talk, the more they sound crazy. Give a girl a chance to like you, and not display your holier than thou attitude on that first date, take her slowly. Religion and politics cannot be extended more than 3 minutes into the date. Remember Jesus did not force people into his believes and he did it nicely without looking crazy.

12) The Educated Evan -This guy is so learned that he will let you know all the school he has been to, you'll think he is a professor in a hundred universities. He will argue the air out of you. He will minimize your suggestions and answers and tell you that you don't know what you're saying since you did not attend his class. He is all defensive and he has no respect for your low classed uneducated opinion. He will practically kill you with "educational talks" at the date and even suggest that you should probably go back to school because all you have is a college diploma and he cannot marry a diploma chick. Gosh! guys, this is a date not a career guide venue! get your at-the-date-topics right! 

13) The Cheap Charley! - This guy will not pick you up for the date, he will ask you to get him at Altona fish & chips joint for your first date. He will buy you fries without sauce and volunteer to put pepper and vinegar for you instead. He will have eaten chicken before you arrive and he will suggest chicken meat is not good for your health. He will get you a gift and the gift will be something he stole from his sister's stuff because the gift will be half used lotion. Don't date such boy if you are looking for a serious relationship. Hey guys, if your finances does not allow you to go to a date at "big" places, please take your girl on a picnic, go to the park its both cheap and fun, and i love it, i wouldn't mind being taken to the Nairobi parks! Altona and all the other chicken and chips joints were left for the college going people in the CBD so please stop it!

14) The Don Juan - This guy is hot, he knows it and he knows you know it, in fact asking you for this date wasn't troublesome, he asked you to let him know when you will want to hang out. This guy loves sex, he lets you know about that. He warns you that he loves it rough, that he loves it when you're on all fours, he loves biting and spanking. Well, guys, its okay to be a sex maniac but please keep it to yourself on the first date and even the second date if at all you get any. When you overly talk about sex, you look and sound very immature and sick in the head, you look very scary. Everything has its time. Girls, most jerks will take this topic on whats-app before your first date, and kill you with information of what and how they want it! Guys sex topics and how we like it is a topic after we like each other and know each other for a while! so please! 

15) The Dis-respectful Jack- This guy will be okay at the table as you eat and talk the small talk, he watches you without flinching and tells you that he thinks you are hot and sexy and that he cannot wait to have you on his bed. The trouble is, he doesn't wait for you to agree on it, he takes his fingers under the table right into your skirt and into your thong at the restaurant since he thinks no one will notice. He will try take his uncultured hands across your chest and tell you he just wanted to feel your bra size so he can buy you one soon, and when he drives you home, he will attempt to drive you at a different venue which you will notice will be a bed and breakfast motel. During the ride he will demand a handjob...girl if the crazy fellow impresses you go ahead. But if its not your cup of tea, always carry enough cash to grab a taxi home when a jerk decides to be a complete maniac.

•Guys when we go for dates, we look to getting to know you better, know what you like and we look to be asked the same questions we ask. We look to have equal minutes of answering back as much as we give you. We are not interested in your Ex, or who your dangerous friends are at that moment. We do not care what people think about you in your hood at that time, we shall hear it for ourselves if it shall bother us. Announcing unasked "insecurities" is both stupid and timid. Unless a woman made a suggestion that you can touch her or talk dirty by initiating it, dude, keep your fingers and dirty talk to yourself. 

Thank me later :)

With Love,
Njoki_TheGoodbadGirl ©2015

Just When Is He Your Ultimate Mr Right/Miss Right?

People have some checklist that they write the qualities of partners they like and want for themselves, some like myself, have a mental list, so we don't have to write down because we are simple and to the point. These are standards that we all have, even if secretly, and everyone must have some. Each and everyone must be able to define what they can and will not accept, because people are very good at taking advantage of situations. Just stop and imagine a cafe that allows every tom, dick and harry to use their bathroom...won't everyone who does not even eat there just feel like its their right to use it? won't the bathroom get too dirty from over-usage without enough cash to maintain cashing in? YES! of-course! same thing with people, show them you have no tightass boundaries and they do whatever they feel like on you and to you.

When i went to sit with some younger girls, we went down to discuss who they think a Mr. right is, and they all were into the mere physical and material qualities; those unimportant ideas of qualities which most of us never grew up out of, the tall, the dark, the handsome, comes from rich family, has great dental formula, has side burns, has nice hair, soft hands...etc We all struggle at some point trying to determine whether a guy is really right for us, and whether that chick is just the right one. The only way to know is by paying attention to their character when they are with you and how they make you feel. People can only put up an act for so long...especially an act to pretend they're in love with you. Don't look so much at the instantaneous chemistry you have, chemistry washes away with time, its just a hot feeling, but the 'character' stays. Chemistry is more like overly lusting over someone too much that you think you're in love. 

                              
                                          

The Mr. Right, That Perfect guy for you is not the wealthiest guy in the city, the most handsome in the city, the guy with the sinewy biceps, neither is he the guy with the best job post in the city. The perfect guy cannot be the most handsome and rich man who treats you like crap, who beats you around, who makes you feel worthless, who makes you feel as thou you should be grateful that you met him, some guy who never communicates, never texts you back, always unavailable, but available after 10pm, NO. When you get the combination of the most handsome, the wealthiest who prioritizes and respects you, count it as a blessing, that combination is not easily found.

Mr Right is that guy that makes you feel naturally beautiful, makes you feel like a woman, makes you feel like the world is both yours, makes you forget the existence of other more handsome men out there. The perfect guy protects, values you and prioritizes you, the perfect guy does not make you chase him just to satisfy his bottomless ego, the perfect guy dates you properly and respects you as a person. Your Mr right should be the most handsome man in YOUR own standards, and not your friends opinions. When you are with your Mr. Right, you are able to slide with ease to be your true self.

From experience, the richest, the most good looking people, naturally charming, well spoken, is the type of evil individuals that will privately mistreat their partner, will degrade, insult, humiliate, get violent and make their partner keep quiet about it, this type of a guy makes their partner live their life practically walking on eggshells, they get too careful not to "make him/her angry" not to make any mistake in fear of being punished. With this type, there is no freedom, the victim stars as a prisoner in their own life. This happens a lot and most individuals especially women feel they are too high on the class or have filthy rich husbands so much that they cannot attempt to let it be known or walk out lest they embarrass their family or lest "people" discover they've got issues too. A month of freedom is way better that a lifetime of imprisonment. Choose well, you don't live for others to see, but for thyself. These type of partners are not good for anyone with self esteem or who respects and loves themselves.

The Miss Right; the Perfect woman for you is not the prettiest girl in the crowd, not the smartest in your class, not the popular girl with best packed "ass-sets", its not the girl that can cook all meals in the world, not the girl straight from the village or the one bred from the city, neither is she the one your mama likes a lot. The perfect woman for you is the woman that make you feel complete, makes you feel like the MAN you are, she brings out the greatness out of you, this woman compliments you too, she doesn't murder you with insignificant criticism, she respects your opinion and input, she respects your individuality, Miss Right, makes you happy without pretense and she is able to tell you nicely when you're wrong without fear, Make you eager to spend more time with her because she just brings the best out of you, one who amazes you with natural intelligence, is attractive according to YOU not your friends... and when you get one with all these great qualities in combination with the prettiest, the most popular, the best cook, count it as a blessing, since no one is as perfect as to possess everything all in one. Every one has a weakness even if they won't talk about it.

Anybody - no matter their great looks, their money, who is a complete douchebag who does not value you, is inconsiderate of your time, who does not give a rats behind about your feelings and opinion, a person who doesn't think twice about humiliating you, a person who makes you feel insecure about your position in their life, the peter pan who is not growing up to progress your relationship after five years of on and off, anybody who has no time for you and is not concerned about what you really do, or where you live, a person who the "good&close" time you can have is only during sex, is NOT a proper partner. Such will emotionally drain you to death. 

PS: When it comes to relationships, class and street 'smartness' does not count. Trust me. There's no trigonometry within relationships, but it can get hard when you're not objectively thinking.

Yours Truly,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015 

How To Get Your Ex Back...

I encourage people to inbox me their concerns so i can help where i can, there's someone who wants to find out how she can get her hot Ex back and get him to commit this time round. First, you do not need to try and get an Ex back, he left you for a reason and before he comes back at his own will, you will be wasting your time convincing him you are the best he can do. How do you get him back and make him commit? Girl, YOU DON'T! Period!

We have all struggled, strong men and more so the women have transformed into little lunatics when a break up and a heartbreak crawls and pops in ! we all have distressed trying to get over someone we loved at some point of our lives when younger and even now as grown ups, and I have to admit some breakups are very hard to accept and many people hold on to the hope that the guy or the girl will think twice or fall for the tears and empty threats and come back into love. The truth is you cannot Threaten, cannot Convince, cannot Bribe someone into loving you sincerely. Individuals with low self esteem who feel why cannot survive without the other have got desperate enough and taken very monstrous measures that include murder;

•Making endless calls

•Typing endless texts [without getting any replies]

•Stalking Ex'es on social media

•Talking to their relatives to vouch for you

•Begging friends to do the begging

•Threatening them over and over

•Looking for their new girlfriend and harassing her

All the above leaves you feeling and looking like a complete maniac - after you come back to your senses.

Sometimes these ex'es are the ones who wronged us but the news becomes a bitter pill for our deluded system to absorb and we have no idea how to just STOP acting stupid! You and your friends got to stop doing outrageous stuff and pulling very foolish stunts trying to win an Ex back. He left, leave too. If he will want you, he will come back at his own desire. Y'all need some time out.

Here's how you can try GET OVER your Ex.

1. STOP texting and calling him, this is a no contact method, and when you stop it, you'll not create a room to feel like a moron when he does nor reply, because most wont, especially if you are the one who caused all the trouble. The more you call and text him like a mad person, the more annoying you get and the more he is glad he/she left you. Give him peace and time to heal.

2. STOP stalking him/her! people have gone to the miles of creating fake accounts so that they can keep tabs on their Ex trying to get them back, they trail them, inbox them anonymously just to feel good when replied to. Some go ahead and announce to their 'dirty laundry' on the Ex'es wall! how stupid can a desperate person get! You look like as dumb-ass! just stop it! You end up looking like a certified pyscho in the name of wanting him back.

3. STOP mourning and start dating again, go out and meet other people. You will end up meeting someone you like and who likes you back and the sooner you start dating, the sooner you forget about your ex. You know what? sometimes people are just not meant to be.

4. STOP playing the victim. Do not show the world how the ex has left you deranged, low self esteemed and damaged, stop crying about it - at least not publicly. Admit it has happened and life must go on. Whats the use of crying the whole day and getting ugly looking puffy eyes for a guy who is out there very happy getting laid?

5. STOP threatening the poor guy that you will jump on the rails so that the 6 am train can crush you to death if he doesn't come back. Lets say you actually jump, you'll die, you'll be buried and that man will still have a girlfriend, get married and live happily ever after, because he will have forgotten your stupid-ass, so who is the biggest loser? You!

6. STOP nagging the poor boy! just because the Ex picks up your call does not mean you can nag him over and over, get a life! let him see you from a distance enjoying life! pretend that you are happy, fake it till he believes it, fake your happiness until he starts regretting ever leaving you! Stay away from him as much as possible, get sexy, look hot because if you cry all day get ugly looking eyes, wear ugly clothes and end up looking like a drag queen just because you are 'mourning' for your broken heart, he will be glad he actually left a mad woman. [only mourn for three days max]Trust me.

7. STOP bribing him! I have seen girls get so hurt that they are willing to buy off the Ex back to their lives. You see a girl asking the guy out for dates, buys drinks for the Ex and his friends, just so that the he can see how nice she is and probably change his mind about her. When you go ahead and over text him asking him over, you mother him, you lead him on to stripping you up, get him laid,what you're giving him is a friggin booty call, and he will start liking it more than he likes YOU!


8. STOP treating the Ex like an angel I am a full hundred sure that you have seen your girlfriends who were cheated on by some guy or even beaten up and after the big break up, the girl becomes the one to apologize, transforms into the whacko pursuer, she chases the guy around looking mad as a march hare, all because she believes she cannot do better that the guy he has known for 7 years. These people are the kind that believe they cannot do better than what they have now, they get too scared to try elsewhere and decide that the guy they've known since pre-unit class MUST marry them! and that's final! 

The trick here is, you should fight all the selective amnesia we all get carried over by, get rational, look and examine the bad side of this person as well as much as you are rolling in the deep and reminiscing all the good times you had and his good side over and over-which is past, cuz when you balance your thoughts about the other person, you will never ever stupidly worship someone who wrongs you and tricks you into apologizing.


Refrain from worshiping people, respect your individuality by spending time alone if only to find your self. Love is lost everyday. After all, if he was that great a person for you, he wouldn't have left and made you weep, that is, if actually you are an angel as well.

You need to heal your broken system and taking part in all the miserable means above only adds pepper to your bleeding heart! Maybe talking too much is what caused this break up and in the first place and the more you yada... yada... yada... by calling and murderously! texting, you end up giving him a reason to be glad why he/she left you in the first place. Keep calm, maintain some maturity, obey the serenity from within and you will find peace and sense... and in the end, when you acted all cool, looked good, moved on and stayed happy, guess who will think they make a mistake leaving? NOT YOU!


I'm Out!

Njoki-GoodBadGirl ©2015

Excuses Stupefied Women Make For Douchebags

The number of people who will still not weasel out of inappropriate,crippling, distressing relationships in this century full of freedoms still baffles me. Some people will appear mature and wise but still condone 'douchebaggeryness' in relationships, making that one decision of disallowing being treated in belittling manner appears like algebraic geometry. 

People day in day out accept to be treated crudely,they choose to stay month after month, year after year until some are killed or seriously assaulted. Some have had their faces acid-burnt by the violent partner, got stabbed by their drug abusing partner as the end result of keeping up with their partner's evident common-senselessness, violence and unmannerliness. People have given various excuses to justify their desperate tolerance like; what about the children, the guy is rich, his mother and sisters are cool, what the people and the pastor will say or think...etc of which are very lame reasons in today's world. Your life is your own.

Some of the FISH-STORIES I have heard women give...

• But we have known each other for so long! I have met acquaintances and friends who will have a man who is treating them like trash, sleep around without giving a rats behind, disrespect them majorly, and the women excuse is 'but we've known each other for 6 years' i cannot just leave! Its not the number of years you've known a person that counts, its how they are making you feel NOW, how they are treating you NOW, how much they value you NOW. People change as they grow and know themselves, and you may have changed as much as he may have changed his choice of a girlfriend.

• But i love him! There is a brand of women and men who will continue accepting loads of bullshit from their partner just because 'they love them so much, they cannot live without them' and they cannot think beyond that box. Again, love is not blind, you are. Even if you love someone, give them time off to grow up, if they come back, take them, if they don't, it was not meant to be.


• But the sex is great! Women will stay in traumatizing relationships, relationships that devalue them, relationships that are emotionally draining, that make them feel like they're walking on eggshells, just because that guy's Johnson and sons hits her like its hurricane! eventually after his amazing johnson is all tired and old, you'll have to live with the rotten personality. Make your choice maturely for the long-haul.


• But He is a hot catch! Well, so many of us get in relationships or rather attachments with the outer characteristics of a person, the light skin ninjas, the light skin girls, the tall and dark handsome men, and blatantly refuse to see beyond prettiness and handsomeness which fades, while character stays. A hot guy is a guy every girl wants and he knows it and when he is immature he will treat the bunch of girls that want him, including you, like he doesn't care, because he actually doesn't since he can get any girl whenever. Go for character. Being handsome has never put food on the table...well, unless he is a gigolo.


• But dating is so exhausting I am a woman and i'm very conscious of the fact that we stay in bad, draining relationships just because we do not want to go back and wait for someone else since the dating process is tiring. We feel its so much work stepping back into the starting point to impress a new guy all over again, which is true, but i'm also a believer that a day wasted in the wrong relationship,is a day that you could have dated and liked a new person. Give yourself a break. Reality is; we are nothing to certain persons in this world, and we are also everything to just one or even two persons in this world, you only need to find that ONE person who values you.


• But his mom is great Some of us have to wake up and realize that we shall not marry "their" parent, their mother, we shall marry the person himself, whether his mom likes you and calls you every other day, it doesn't matter when he is treating you like you do not matter to him, treating you like some option, some piece of work, physically and emotionally abusing you, You know what?, when you show him you'll take it anyway, that's all you will get from him all your life!. When its your dad or mom that loves that irresistible man so much and encourages you to stay on because the man is really likable and they know his parents well, when the man is not THAT nice and into YOU, it's YOU who gets to keep up with his moronic shenanigans and not your parents.


• But he is the father of my child! [sign] Hundredths of us have stuck with wicked men because they fathered our kids. Some women still hallucinate that if a pregnancy occurs the man will 'wake up' and start being nice, wake up and act like a father he is supposed to act like, and when he doesn't, they think if they force a marriage the guy will finally realize her efforts and give in into treating her like a jewel she is. BUT this are all mere illusions, if a man is treating you like you do not matter, treating you like one of his boys, telling your boys you are his "bitch" when in your presence...he will not change because you now live in the same house neither because you have baby together. A leopard does not change its stripes because it rained.

• But he will change if i give him time Yes, yes yes...men [some] eventually change [or pretend to have changed], but not just for any woman. They change for THAT ONE woman THEY choose to change for. It's the logic behind a guy who swore a hundred times to you five months ago that he will never ever ever get married...then suddenly he gets respectful, gets married and gets a stable job [after being a bumming disrespectful boyfriend to you], because HIS kind of RIGHT woman came along. 

Sincerely,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015

The 'Doctored' Scoundrel, Drugging & Raping City Patients

The too frightening revelation of a maniac who is shown raping patients in a Githurai clinic is a representation of a 'clever' acting Socio-path who consciously is suffering from Somnophillia whereby someone gets arousal from the unconscious or someone who is in deep sleep, this is a behavior that graduates to Necrophiliac behavior whereby someone is sexually excited and has sexual intercourse with the dead.  

The crook as shown on the trending shameful, unnerving rape video is like a boy trapped in a big body, an irresponsible mental case that deserves no mercy, he not only deserves the public roasting he is currently getting, but he deserves actual heavy punishment from the court and by the people he has wronged so far. 

I have gone for reproductive health check ups and there's nowhere i have been anesthetized to have a pap smear or even a uterus check up... this alleged malefactor being mentioned as Mugo wa wairimu is just a vehement and desperate politician wanna be - an endeavor which is not going well by the look of things, more evident looking at his mentions on the internet that never forgets, blog and social media posts, who by his silly-ass and lame Facebook statements seems to think - the online people who support his blog politics will save him from his huge cited crime. Facebook people are not anyone's family, they'll only yap online, but never show up.

This is an insult to Kenyans, the women and all other good doctors out here. Those who are supporting the bad egg's actions, its too darn early to celebrate your friend's victory. The current evidence which is undoubtedly too blurred should not be taken as 100% as to call for Mugo's crucifixion as yet as this case is still "foggy" on Mugo being the actual rapist on the video, but on the same note, just because someone is on the same political fellowship with you, or just because he is an online political noise maker, it does not guarantee he cannot be a criminal.

This is traumatizing even to think about! more-so that the nincompoop on the video never bothered to wear a condom to protect the victim or even himself at the least, maybe he has been spreading Aids! being raped while anesthetized is the worst thing that can happen to a woman since she would not know what has or has not happened to her so as to take measures towards her own protection, what if some of these women got pregnant and bore him children without their knowledge of having being raped!...this is one question that cannot stop ringing in my mind.

I was almost not sold that he is the one on the motion picture on the CTV since I have never seen his images anywhere, I have never bothered to know who he is, but his distinct and rather stupid-looking caps combined with his "shagsmondoz" dressing code sells him out from the word go [that's a very bad and ugly style of dressing for a "Doctor" , that's a dressing style for a shopkeeper who has no plans of going outside his shop], not forgetting his obvious love for checkered shirts.

Why I may doubt the authenticity of the video...
• Being as loud as he is, he must have a good number of haters who would have dug his mentioned crimes before now, if indeed he is the rapist in question.
• Why has anyone not raised word against this too "social media popular'' 'ghetto' doctor till now.
• The person who planted the recording camera could have planted two, one to record the culprit face clearly too, the video only shows us very blurred and dark - unclear  images of the rapist.
• With all the equipment a huge TV station owns, how comes its that hard for CTV to get a clear video of the said "Mugo's" face. There are countless softwares to remove blur and add more clarity, if indeed they wanted us to know for sure it is the alleged guy in the video
• The loser in the unclear video looks a little slimmer than the alleged criminal actual photos that are in public domain
• The person who was recording could have planted a couple of policemen around so as to catch the felon in action!
• How did the journalists get the first victim on camera to narrate her experience?

Things that make "Mugo wa wairimu" seem guilty of the alleged rape crime...

• He is still "hiding" instead of calling a press briefing, in attempt to clear his name. 
• His signature plaid shirts and darn ugly tokyo trousers are well re-presented both on his actual photos and on video.
• That stupid hat he is donning in every picture is very well represented.
• He has not yet denied being a Quack as the Doctors/Nurses board has claimed- that makes him guilty of the charges of being a fake practitioner, he is only denying raping patients so far.
• His workers did not look really surprised by the accusations, as they just fled office leaving the journalists there.

If the storied guilty party has indeed been raping his patients, he must not he claimed too be medically insane. From the incriminating video, he knew what he was doing all along and he seems to enjoy it, as he plans, executes his crime and later as captured 'cleaning his semen',  wipes all traces of evidence that could potentially pin him. Offenders with mental issues cannot and do not clean after their crimes as well as he seemed to be doing.

Now that the lifer has been caught, the Kenyan justice system must publicly punish him squarely so that he can be a proper lesson to his wicked kind who may still be at large!

Objectively,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015

The Deleterious Effects Of Watching & Reading Pornographic Materials

The interest starts at puberty, just when you are about to join high school, the curiosity drives young boys especially, to want to see what happens in the world of naked people who have nothing to hide. I have read and heard tales of recovered pornography addicts and its not different from alcoholism.

It's all fun and games until you realize you cannot do without a daily dose of pornographic material at only fifteen years. Pornography like any drug is addictive and I can only imagine what is currently happening to twelve year old's with the presence of expensive cellphones that parents are too happy to buy for the cool kids generation! 

Pornography only takes one search and the links are all over, I honestly do pity young parents who think its better to buy their 11 year old a smart phone instead of paying for them to join or encouraging them to join an estate football team. We cannot afford to be "cool" with kids just because we are in the digital era, as grown ups, we should know better and refrain from encouraging "Smart phone Lonesomeness". One parent is a discussion said that she checks the browser history, really?  kids are not dumb, they know how to delete browsing history and further more whats the use of knowing your child watched porn on their cellphone instead of just disabling it? We cannot enable a habit then cry about it later.

When internet keeps people up all night, its not because they like it or have no work to do, they are addicted to the internet. Some to Facebook, twitter, YouTube funny videos while others, it's the Pornographic websites. Just imagine what is happening to those who started getting hooked by age fourteen!
      
Sex is healthy, but porn is never healthy. Here are some of the ways watching pornography is detrimental to your wholesomeness especially, Men.

• Pornography makes you a slave, it distracts you from your daily life just to freaking fap, like seriously! a habit making you stop everything just to have sex with yourself? can't you see you can easily go crazy? I have heard of young guys who cannot concentrate on studying without popping a "privater browser"  just to watch a five minute clip, just to waste his sperm on some tissue.

• Pornography makes man have these unrealistic expectations with women. Whatever a man sees on porn, whatever unrealistic styles and toys the characters put on and in each other, a man will expect his partner to pull the same stunts, and where the partner is not conversant or willing, the man will  not be happy with the results, creating a "communication" breakdown.

• Pornographic materials makes a man lose his bond with real life women, a Kenyan man will imagine that all his girlfriends must be pink under their skirts, they will imagine that all the vijayjays are the same as what they saw from the porn stars and nothing can make his mind get away from that false thought... and when he finds out its just an illusion, this man will detest real life women [since they don't have waxed pinkies] and choose to "chill" on screen with his fantastic perfect imaginary women. Porn is a bad spirit.

• With pornography a man expects and believes that all women must have anal sex with him and makes him believe its normal, just like he witnessed on his phone or tv screen. What these guys don't recognize is that these stars also practice to get rods of wood and hose pipes in them,to get that "perfect". It is just acting, porn is not love making! You cannot practice porn on a women you love!

• Pornography will cause men to have low self esteem, this is because no porn will have guys with tiny penis, they cast for the biggest, these perfect seeming men are hand-selected, when the guy at home sees that and compares, he feels overwhelmed by the fact that his thingy is tiny winy and he cannot do a thing about it, and if he has the money, he will start buying drugs to try get his willy bigger, and when it doesn't, he will feel like a complete fool and failure. This fella will have a lot of issues trying to approach real life women.

• Pornography makes a man stupid, very very stupid, a man who watches too much porn meaning he is addicted, can be a rapist, if especially he is watching the extremes of it, there versions of porn where they abuse teenagers, others they abuse women of different races and beat them, gang rape them, others abuse animals, and i can imagine these scenes exciting and fueling a grown man enough for him to do the exact same out here. With porn a man loses his purpose as well because it becomes sex sex sex sex in his mind every day every time!

• Pornography will waste a man's time, the time a man plays hide and seek just sit there having some imaginary sex is the very freaking time he'd have used to get a girlfriend, or a wife to get laid.

• With pornography having so many versions of women from thin to thick, a man will be influenced to be player, since he will want to  have a taste of sex from different types of women. 

• Men who watch pornographic videos are influenced to believe that every women must give them oral sex, and if not, they get mad, mad enough to be violent, bitter and very foolish. They might bite and beat.

• A porn addict will never, can never be a passionate love making man, instead he will be "violently taking" women just like he sees on porn.

• A pornography addict will well lose his interest in real life sex and be content with a five minute clip which will arouse him till his next dose. Which will contribute in his erectile dysfunction as he grows as his system will be used to finish off within a minute or two.

Pornography is cheap, seemingly fun, but it leaves you with guilt, with regret, bruised palms & fingers, leaves you feeling empty and most of all leaves you Discontented and Comfortless! 

Don't just sit there and waste away your precious sexual energy and your soap & vaseline, find something else constructive you can do with it instead. I have read that Muhammad Ali never had sex or masturbated six weeks to his matches, just to keep that energy for his matches.

Quit watching pornography today, you can stop it when you decide you want to, if the smartphone is influencing you, sell it and get a less quality phone that does not have internet connection, get your self a serious hobby that does not involve the internet, talk to someone who can help you out of it, disconnect your internet completely, and you can give yourself a target of No Porn For 30 Days and see how it goes. Its never easy or hard, until you can begin. Start today, you will not regret it.

With Love,
Njoki_GoodBadGirl ©2015

You Are, Thy Problem.

When you choose a guy because he is tall dark and a smashing hunk, while he treats you like a senseless slave and a kick ball, you are the problem.

When you choose a guy just because he is wealthy, while he treats you like one of his boys, never calls back or reply's to texts, YOU are the problem.

When you choose a man just because he has a nice haircut, biceps and a nice butt in the denim, when he humiliates you publicly, you are the problem.

When you are a single mom and you let your new boyfriend hurt your child just because he is cute, you're scared stiff of staying without a male around, YOU! are the freaking problem!

When you are a single dad and you let some woman, hurt your cute child just because she is a HOT light skin, YOU are the problem!

When you are a grown man, you let your nutcase woman embarrass you at your work place cuz she is beautiful, YOU are the problem!

When you are a grown woman and you let a man beat you senseless daily cuz he's foreign, since you can't leave the dollar, YOU are the problem!

When you are the ONLY one who is always doing the forgiving for the whole damned year, YOU are the problem!

When he switches his phone off on you from Friday to Monday morning, and YOU still call him on Monday night, YOU are the problem!

If and when HE lives in your house for free meals, free shelter and free wife services, he is very comfortable while you are feeling crappy and used inside, YOU are the problem sister!

When she still brings along her thirteen girlfriends on a romantic date you invited her, and you still tolerate it, because she is the hottest you've had, YOU are the Problem!

When you always find your self telling his best friend all your relationship problems, girl, you are the problem!

When you are the one who is always crying and working to build the relationship, You are the problem.

When you are paying for HIS degree [coz you're older] while he bums in YOUR house all year, then go to complain to your friends, woman, you are the problem.

When you constantly buy her airtime and she never calls you, ever! You are the problem, sugar daddy!

When its been two years and you have never asked him where the relationship is going , he has not told you the union is exclusive, he has never mentioned "i love you",  you have never required him to define your relationship, YOU are the problem.

If you genuinely hate him or her and can't wait for her to go on a trip so that you can cheat, YOU are the problem!

                                                   AND....

If they are now in a happy relationship or married after you left them or they left you, and you're still struggling with the 13th girl/boyfriend, YOU are, and you were the problem!

We all have the power over our precious lives, we have the power to decide how and with whom we are spending our days with and we have all the power to refuse all forms of Bullshit! 

When you refuse to do Something about the things you do not like, or things that make you feel distressed, dehumanized, minimized, devalued, dejected, depleted and devastated, and you STILL do not take a single step outside that hell hole, YOU are the biggest problem the world of love has. Change happens when you acknowledge you have a problem!

Making sound decisions in your relationships is what they meant by; you create your own happiness.

Sincerely,

Njoki, The GoodBadGirl ©2015

He Is Not His Clothes...Just Style. Him. Up!

We all have come across, handsome guys back in our estates, in our colleges and campus. Handsome guys and pretty girls that we feel could improve if they stopped wearing the ugly sweaters, frightening skirt and make up, the horribly sagging skinny jeans, the torn dirty jeans or some second hand old sahara boots he wears with everything and the four year old type of nasty underwear. Handsome and beautiful people whose only problem is; they just just don't have a "proper" or breathtaking/impressive/attractive dressing code.

Talking about Men [not boys]  I love me a man who dresses sharply; well polished dress shoes plus a well fitting navy blue, charcoal grey colored suit, always sweeps away my attention, this kind of a guy will get anything off me... when he is mine :) ...but then again we can't just get the rich guy, the educated guy, the super handsome guy who knows how to dress "well" all in one package.Those who are, are either painfully married, gay or well...a lost case. I believe that no woman should ignore a guy who dresses bad or rather shabbily or in sheng' a "shagsmondoz" kind of guy, who has every other good quality you like in a man but the granpa' sweater and knit cap he likes rocking Monday to Monday. There are simple ways to help such guys change into dressing like the hot movie star you'd love them to be.

Here are some free tricks...but Only if you have an exemplary style taste yourself.

• When its a new relationship, don't go jumping your guns and start telling him how 'fugly' he looks in his old clothes, DON'T! you will scare him away! [don't lose a guy who treats you like a queen over his knee-length NETS- fugly jerseys]  First stay put, swallow the current pill and learn him, you can always pick his personality in 90 or even 30 days, that way you're able to know what would fit his sweet personality [that first attracted you to him] well without trying so hard. This will help you evenly match is career/job dress-code and his personality without making him look ludicrous at work.

• Do not tell him what you don't like on him, just compliment only on what you like, this way he won't think you want to control him, [men hate being controlled and when stuff are imposed on them, ask them] this way he will note how you never compliment him when he wears his drag queen clothes and too tight Chinos, and he will pick up on wearing only what you tell him he looks sexy in. [and don't just say he looks sexy, show him what he can get when he looks sexy everyday]. No criticism. It doesn't work on anyone. I remember the more my mom told me not to wear short dresses the more i wore them!

 • Don't we all love some appreciation, When you love and appreciate him for who he is, making him throw away old socks will be super easy. But bitching around how bad he looks in his corduroy or polyester pleated trousers will just piss him off and probably he will think you're a psycho, hate and leave you for good. Just like we love being appreciated, men are human and they love that piece of cake as well.

• Buy him the stuff you want him to wear, as a gift, then plan a date and make sure you iron the clothing and like a good woman, help him  dress in it; more like you buy and create an occasion, then when on it, make sure you tell him how great he looks if only to encourage him into trusting you to dress him up.

• When he wears the sharp dress shoe you helped him [or made him] choose, assure him that he look magnificent! we all love being uplifted in every area of life, and our men should most get to adored, praised, and stroked  well with good encouraging words, tell him how handsome he is, and tell him how smart you think he will look in some dress boots and the jeans you just bought him. Inspire and elevate him and he will follow.

• Men like women love being puffed up when they do something good, where he impresses you, duly compliment him, like if he finally wore the suit you bought him, give him all the love so that he can be encouraged to buy three more suits for himself.

 • When the style you want your man in is the smart casual...and you always dress up like miss Jezebel ...well, that won't work, be a good example, dress as appropriately as you want him to look as a way to compliment the efforts you are putting towards him. Ask him playfully what he thinks you look sexy in, and when he tells you, follow his advice because you can't feed your baby what you can't taste. 

• You cannot bitch or insult him, not in the bedroom or worse off in the public, this tears and dwindles a man confidence close to irreparably, he will rebel and even leave you for a quieter even 'shaggier' 'uglier' woman than you. Always be pleasant, just like you won't like it when he bitches and overly tells at you how 'elephanty' you look, or say you have a croissant or a baguette bread shape when you wear tight clothes that shows all your waist 'tyres', don't humiliate him in private or public! Men have emotions too, and that's why they leave women without a word.

• When is the unrealistic, the hot head and or hardheaded, the type that feels that a there's no way he can stop wearing his cheap over sized suits because of a woman, the type that feels like he's got it all together, freaking bribe him! into the change you wan't. Relationships are an investment, always try all means possible to make him wear the shirts you like, in ways that will not come out as intruding or butting in.

When you finally make it to buy him new clothes, two years down the line, make sure you get rid of his old junk one by one. He won't notice his sillyass cowboy underwear with a hole in-front is missing if you're still being gentle to him without haunting or tormenting him. Let him be with his friends all he wants, let him play his play-station all afternoon, let him watch football without sitting on his face and asking him who the player named Samsung and AON is playing for...and all will be well.

When you do all this while still being Respecting, congratulating him for getting into the new style you love, while assuring  him of your love, you will have won effortlessly from a "fugly bugly mugly" looking person, into making the man you've always WANTED!


P.S This works when the Man is actually totally yours.

Thank me later!


 With Love,
Njoki_TheGoodbadGirl ©2015