Double-Standards: You Might As Well DO Whatever You Want!

There are good gentlemen out here as much as there are complete ludicrous mutton-heads who only come to ruffle your quite life for the gamble of it pretending to be so into you, they will judge and condemn you after tempting you no matter what choices you make, and since you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't as a woman, why not just do whatever the hell it is you want to do? people are always too judgmental and come hell or high waters, you'll thing they pay bills with it.

Just when you're trying to date in pursuit of continuing the human race, some males present their sets of love, sex & relationship stupid-moronic laws that no woman gets good enough for which makes it so hard to get in to genuine relations these days.

• When you're genuinely not on their case - they say you're playing hard to get when you are genuinely NOT interested at all. Men have to realize that being handsome, possessing a grand vehicle and being disrespectful doesn't earn them every woman. Material things do not buy every human.

• When you're interested in them equally, text and call them since they have been calling you too, they say you're becoming that nagging and achy woman that they do not want. When you don't care about calling them back, you're not equally putting efforts in communication and you are labeled unloving.

• When you refuse to be touched anyhow and anyhow and or get shy about their sexual advances- you're being annoyingly childish, when you accept the sexual advances because its been long since you were touched up and loved up like that, you're an dumb trollop and deludable!

• When you accept their love and the sexual advances and peacefully enjoy the sex because you are a human too who has the same mortal sexual desires as well, you're the 'flooziest', sloppiest, jezebel they've ever met and he 'gossip-pels' from the mountain top, while when he sleeps will everything, he's The Don Juan aka the village cock of the entire hood of three estates with ten phases combined.

• When the only 'style' you know is 'just lying there like a Python who's just had a whole merino sheep for a meal, in search of a shy missionary style during sex- you're being excruciatingly boring and lifeless, you will therefore not be wifed for being flat and tedious, or if wifed it'll be because they think you know too little to ever dream of cheating, your job will be child bearing and house work.

• When you do all the Kamasutra dictionary monkey styles- you're a highly expensive experienced whore...and you will not make it into the wife positions BUT you definitely get the side-chick position and be very well maintained, but never a wife.

•When you go bald because they hate weaves, they say your head looks like a watermelon, when you weave on, you're wearing a birds ugly nest or a wet duster that is smelling like a wet footballers sock in a plastic bag.

•When they ask what gift you want and say perfume worth Ksh7000, you're being too expensive while you don't even have a job, when you ask for the Limara deodorant worth Ksh300 you become an undatable, poor quality, low-tarriff'ed girl he doesn't want.

•When you are the silent girl who has very little to say, they complain you're aloof,disconnected and weird, then when you speak your mind and stand our ground against bullshit, you become a loud mouthed bitch that gets no respect.

•When you finally open up and tell them what and how you feel about them, because they told you they loved you and complimented you, you become a desperate, outrageous needy girl who he doesn't want to hear from again because you've shown signs of the drama queen... When you don't tell them how you feel about them in return, they mouth you as ungrateful, hardhearted and unkind.

•When you are sexually powerful , you know what and how you want things done to you and asks to be served your way anytime and anywhere, you're branded a demented nympho, BUT when he is sexually powerful, he is the holy alpha-male who every girl must kneel for.....arrrggghh, the world is tiring! 

Guys, come on, Define what you want and keep the double standards to yourself! 

Sincerely,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015

When She Is NOT That Into YOU!

Being a woman, i can relate to how annoying it is when you say NO to a guy that you are not interested in at ALL, and he still doesn't get it, and to make matters worse, the dude thinks we are in the 60's when NO mean't Yes!

Guys, am a woman I know how we miscommunicate our interest and disinterest, if you actually thought you're the only ones that can be evil and heartless in relationships, think again! chicks can well play your games as well.

Sometimes we act the way we do because we do not yet believe that you really like us, we tend to think that you're just gaming like other guys, so we will be very drama-full just to avoid you. 

All the same, most times we are just NOT Attracted to you, to avoid wasting your time on women that are NOT into YOU, let the below points sink.

• That moment you ask her out for a date, and since she gave you her number just to be polite, without reserve, she asks you NOT to pick her from her house but ten blocks away, or she asks you to wait for her at the venue, Man, this kind of a girl just doesn't want to be seen with you, maybe by a guy she already has or has a crush on. When i like a guy he will have to come for me from the bed.

•When she does not pick up your calls, because she did not "hear" it ring since her phone is on "always silent" mode, she is just letting you know that she doesn't want to talk to you! and she doesn't really give  a rats behind what you feel!

•When she won't let you touch her, not even her hand when you're out there, she is just avoiding any physical attachments that you may have started to have because she is not not into you! when am into a guy, i really get close to him because i feel at home with him.I automatically find myself leaning in.

•When you are out with a girl, you are busy talking your tongue away and she just checks her watch as you talk or checks her phone, well dude, just let her go, cuz evidently she ain' paying any attention to you and whatever you have to say. When we want to impress you, we listen or act like we are listening, if we are not hearing you, we are not feeling you.

•When she ignores your texts from Facebook to whats app, even after they report her to have read with the  'seen' alert and she still doesn't bother to reply, boy , just let her go, she doesn't like you that bad. When we like guys we always want to chat with them with every opportunity even past our sleeping hours.

• When everyone tells you that you are funny but she wont just get your jokes, dude, better take a hike, cuz this chick is not feeling your vibe. When we like guys we laugh at their lame jokes, just to show them we are cool with whatever they have to say, as long as its not about out fat or flaws.

• When you really want to give her that hug after two weeks of not seeing her and from a meter away, she plainly extends her hand so that you can get it that she doesn't want to hug. A girl who is not into you will even tell you she is into a religion that doesn't allow hugging before marriage. So boy, just take a walk!  

• Just when you felt you are so ready for a serious, exclusive, committed relationship because you are 30 and she is 28 and she tells you that she is not ready to have any relationship right now, because she is busy figuring her life out, man, she is damn lying, its all because she is just not that into you. We girls love to be in exclusive relationships, and if we don't like you that much, we wont want a relationship with you when you ask.

• When she flirts with other guys in your presence or even your very own friends, man, she is just trying to get across the message that she wants other guys and definitely not you!

• When she tries to hook you up with her best friend, that should let you know that she absolutely thinks you are not her type...

•Every-time you ask her out she has lame excuses like; mmmhh nope i wont be available, my neighbors dog died am attending the burial, the boy next door will kidnap me because he thinks i like him, its too cold to go outside, it might rain, i will let you know when am ready to go out...exhausting right? well, leave her alone.

• When a chick gets the gut to tell you that you are a great friend, that; you will make an awesome husband, that you look like you can be a great boyfriend, that your girlfriend and future wife will be lucky as hell to have you, man, you are in the fence zone toppled with the friend zone! If she was really into you, she would have been THAT girlfriend already if she believed you were that great. We are women, we like winning!

• You know chicks love texting long right? oh yeah, and if she gives you the one worded replies, boy! get a ride, cuz this girl is not into you, and she is really trying hard to annoy you with "haha"  "ok"  "kul"  "Mi2"  "xoxo"  "lol"  "9t" after sending to her a very long paragraph explaining your feelings. Move on and don't waste your data and airtime cuz this one can't wait to get you off her back.

• You are three months old into the relationship and when you tell her that you love her she goes like "you kidding right?"  "oh really now?"  "come on you're embarrassing me"  "why do you?"  or just giggles and changes topic, well, you're on your own love traffic which is one way. When we really really loves you back, we will look into your eyes and say the words as well, and even include your name.

Partners are in plenty, keep trying because there's always someone out there for everyone. Thank me later.... 

Sincerely,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015

Men Are NEVER The Problem, Women Just Won't Pay Attention!

‪I am Njoki, a grown woman and these are #‎LessonsLifeHasTaughtMe‬ ‪

The reality is, you cannot, you're not allowed to sit there, cry and blame a man for breaking your heart into those small pieces that even doctors have a hard time mending back together.You cannot tell the world that man hurt you, when all he did was let you know he is NOT that in you! The poor guy used all the methods he knows by treating you like crap and you just never got a load of it!

God made man first according to the good book and its only after the woman came that things went haywire, in fact, I've not yet read anywhere in the bible where an angel is a woman, you know why? we females just don't listen! Men are so great to have around such that if i could, i would have more, more than morally recommended. I have more male friends in real life than i have females. Men are beautiful creatures despite the fact that; the genitals are the only erotic part, unlike us, women are erotic head to toe! in-spite of this, women all over the world have refused to recognize the fact that they are the PRIZE they have everything a man wants, and do not have to BEG for love and attention from some guy!

You see, men are fascinating! their money is ours, they take us out, buy us stuff, give us babies, showers us with gifts, gives you stupid butterflies, and when a man wants to break up with you, he doesn't tell you bluntly like girls do via text with friends surrounding over to wait for the reaction from the other end reason being he doesn't want to appear bitchy, since he doesn't want to "hurt" our little red girly hearts, he plays this hide and seek game until you get it by all by yourself by reading the "atmosphere" between you two.

These guys will take you in circles, disappear and re-appear in your life like magic- only when you allow it, play the endless "no communication" the "nilikua  Namibia"  "nilipoteza simu" games, play the blame game, make you feel guilty for his mistakes and finally, stealthily Makes YOU 'Dump' yourself which automatically becomes your fault according to him! Guys love it if it's you who left and not them, since they do not want to look bad. 

Men. Are. Brutally. Unkindly. Honest, it's just that we do not want to come into terms with the reality of what they give us! we do not consider their hard, true opinions and we do not want to 'respect' their actions towards us! Men will accord you with point blank side shows, very sincere, But hey! we are females, and we don't like that; We don't like to hear the guys or take things as they are since we have a specific way we have forecasted and visualized that things must and will happen in our relationships and nothing else is allowed to interfere with the prophesy! 
  
Guys SHOW us the Truth; like: he wont call you- you're not worth the damn trouble, wont text you; you're not worth his seconds...wont contact you after a date; because he simply didn't like you! wont return your calls in time; to kill any attachments you may have started having! Then he blankly tells you that you're adding weight too fast! which is not attractive, and its usually because he doesn't like you anymore!,wont let you meet his friends, ignores you, insults you and your intelligence, only *Booty* Calls you when he is idle, [and YOU actually still show up] and remember even if he calls to come to your place, its still a damn BOOTY CALL!

Then the ninja knows very well you're now 33 and you really want marriage to happen asap but he avoids the topic like plague, the damn man gets angry at the mention of meeting your parents.This guy who has never shown proper respect for you, he drops a BOMB and says he hates kids while you're a single mom! or says your three year old daughter is kind of annoying, and you don't Quit this one way traffic relationship! Seriously, this man shouldn't ever be blamed for breaking a woman's heart since he told and showed all his truth.

Then after all he has done to kick yo' ass outta his business you sit dissect, vivisect, suss out his LOUD behaviors and finally justify his actions! and you go ahead to debate this issue with yourself and settle on the fact that it must have been you! even with everything this clear, YOU apologize to him for his wrongs and still give him the Mommy Love he did not ask you for! Lord have mercy on you! 

We cling and choose to ignore these important Signals and its no wonder we have so many relationships "accidents". In-fact when some of us- the clingy women folk go back to get laid by this kind of dudes the second and the third time, the fella is surprised we didn't just get it after-all, he finally gets the balance of making sure you're neither in or out of his life and he settles with that's the quality of love and affection you want since you are still around after he treated you like shit!

See, Most guys wont easily reject free sex from an "attractive woman" as long as you offer it, and since he put you into a fence zone and you readily accepted it anyway, He's good to go. Lady,Thou Shalt Not Say, You Were USED, you brought in yourself in a silver plate! 

See; A person who doesn't love you the way you love them is worthless, stuff got to be mutual...If he does NOT provide today, he wont start tomorrow. If he don't take you along on night outs, he wont start next weekend - when you finally have sex, if he never ever calls you, he wont start just because you slept with him, But since this beats the alternatives of going back to the pool, to "dating start-line" and status change to single....you'd rather stay on and put up with the foolery!

Cut The Bullshit. Move On To The Next Bus. Bullshit is truly Underrated!


Sincerely, 
Njoki-GoodBadGirl! ©2015

I Don't Celebrate My Birthday, But The Years I Have Survived...

“The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.” 

― Jarod Kintz

I never and have never celebrated my birthday with candles wine and cake because I have really never seen anything worth blowing candles about, yet. This is a day to be Thankful, to be Kind and a day to majorly Reflect on my survival. August 25th nineteen eighty something is the date I was born - as informed, I appreciate it as i imagine the pain my mother went through, i recognize the wrath of labor pains and the eighties must have been bad, real bad since unlike today, women that time did not have the liberty to decide which way they wanted to give birth. Every generation has its problems.

In life i have not had it smooth as you may think, we all have our struggles, everyone has their own that they deal with privately. I have had love, i have had hate, i have been devalued and later valued. I have met good people as much as i have met dark and evil people who never wished or wanted me to live to see the light of these days, call them wicked prophets, and i had believed that i wouldn't see the days, but then again God is the giver of life and He must sign on each of us. So those who feel trapped by others, PRAY hard and do GOOD, God sees it all and HE will come in His time He is neither too early, neither does He come late for the rescue. 

I have given up at some point but then again, I look at who's watching me, and i get back up quickly, I have a son -Shaquille who i love dearly, whom I loved even before i conceived, he had been my dream, i always wanted to have a son, he is the best gift life could have given me, i wouldn't trade him for anything and he is yet another soul i take this day to Thank God for and appreciate because with every decision i make, i always have him in mind. I have decided not to fly out because of him , for love, for studies and work, he just has to be considered, he is a major part of me. I celebrate his father since i could not have made our son alone, i love and appreciate him.

I have made bad decisions like everyone else, and i have made my right decisions, no one is perfect, we all have flaws and we should accept them, live with them, and accept other people's flaws the same way we want them to accept ours. 

I have hanged out with people who piss off their parents every day, people who take hard drugs at parties and at home, and although i did not participate, i realized the every final decision rests on US. I could have said my life is hard and i am depressed - because i was super depressed, i could have sniffed the available cocaine, i could have allowed a foreigner to traffic me, but i did not. We cannot sit there and blame it on our 'friends', we cannot blame the society, we cannot blame our mothers, we can only blame Ourselves for whatever we choose to become, because we have the right common sense to make decisions by the time we are 23 when the crazy hormones have calmed down. The decisions we make today, undoubtedly will reflect into our future.

I do not necessarily hold down a party for my birthday, neither do I do it on Christmas or New year. I only take the gift. If I'm not too pissed at something to just sleep the day away. These are the days I prefer sitting and Reflecting on what I have seen, lanes I have gone through, all shit I have gone through and beaten, crazy things i did and what I'm yet to do on my Resolutions desk... and more to it, this's a day I give away from the heart, to make someone else happy, someone who doesn't expect it, as a way to thank the mother earth for letting me live on her yard, to thank my own mother for bringing me to this torn world so that i can witness it too.

I think everyone of us should not just go to the bar and drink themselves to a stupor in the name of celebrating their birth-date, but you should Celebrate your MOTHER! [the mother who brought you up especially] get your MOTHER a gift for holding you up till now [who knows your birth, or my birth may have been just another accident and she just had to pop you out], give your good father a gift, since when you were a hot head, he never beat you to death because he had the right to. In fact, all birthdays, should be "parents day" whether you love them or otherwise as long as they took care of you.

This is a day WE should thank God, thank the planet, maybe by planting a tree, by gifting someone else other than ourselves, donating something to someone or people in need, just making a difference even if a little. A day to be selfless as we make better decisions. A day to celebrate kindness. This is the day i draw into quite quality hours and draw new resolutions.


With Love,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015

When Your Relationship Screams That You're Single

People are in denial and have blatantly refused to admit that the people they love are hurting them everyday. Things get much worse when you choose to stay in an ugly relationship knowingly. Staying in a draining partnership in the name of love, a relationship which makes you feel sad most of the time, a relationship that makes you feel "small" and unloved, that is not love because love does not hurt, people do instigate the hurt, love is never blind, you are, we are. People like being under a title of being in a relationship for the sake of it and for the sake of not being identified as single. I have been there so i relate closely.

People who treat others this way, are not necessarily evil, it's only that they cannot say "its over" to your face because they're so chicken about it, and their only trick is make you feel bad so that you can leave voluntarily, which is a clever way to avoid the responsibility of a break up.

People who are in sick relationships are serially single without knowing it, just check if you're among'st them.

You're seriously single within a relationship IF...

• The only "Hun" and "Dear" you get to hear is from your high-school classmate when you hook up. These lovely words to make you feel good and if you do not get to hear them from the person who claims to love you, girl, you're single!

• If your partner is more perfect at Ghosting on you than he is in treating you nicely, dear, you're still single! get out there and mingle while he or she is away!

• If your interests does not matter to him or her, and when it comes to dealing with her/his interests they want you there 100% , then consider yourself still uncared for and very single!

• All your partner does is embarrass you in front of yours and his friends in the name of its just a joke that's total crap, someone who loves you doesn't look to humiliate you in public!

• Your girl doesn't respect you and she has all the confidence on earth to flirt with other guys in your presence in the name of it'n nothing serious, we're just friends. 

• Your guy is not respectful and all he will do at the party is grab other girls asses in your presence because he is too drunk and "doesn't know what he is doing". Drunk people do stuff they already thought of doing when sober, don't fall for that nonsense!

• When you tell your partner you love them they go like "awwww, thank you" and they hastily kiss you, [to shut you up] or get all quick into making love to you to evade saying they love you too. You're single my friend.

• When you text your partner just to say you love them at 9 am, they ignore you the whole damn day by not seeing your text and only text back at 10 pm with just a "hey you..." , and if they replied in an hour's time the reply is "same" and "me too" or "thanks hun" ...respect your self and walk out on such pseudo-smart flimflam!...This is unrequited love, and nothing hurts like it, so hey guess what, you're still single!

• When you take your partner's nonsense; they beat you, humiliate you, threaten you of leaving, makes you feel inadequate, JUST because they are cute, popular or wealthy, darling, that's not love, you're still single as far as the book of love is concerned!

•  If he tells you that you're too fat or too thin, tells you that you do not look good in the clothes that were his favorite when you met, that ninja no longer loves you, he is just being an A***ole, leave him alone.

•  If you constantly think you are the problem, because your partner insists you are the problem, then you guys have a problem and the problem is that thing you're calling a relationship and the sooner you're out of it, the better!                                                                      

• He comes home drunk and angry, his temper is ever 99%, he throws things at you, beats the hell out of you because he loves you. Seriously are there women in this century who still believe in this kind of shit? when its a girl, she is full of violent-drama, she wont give you peace or let you talk or be yourself, man, run for your life before you lose it to depression!

• When he is being really mean to you, this is a toxic time bomb, its unhealthy when the person you LOVE is the same person that makes you feel miserable...is it really worth it? why take crumbs when you can have the whole bread?

When and if you are feeling all single, alone and lonely while you are "In a Relationship" please run while you still can, or are you going to sit and watch your heart break into small tiny little pieces that even Dr. House can't fix?

You know what?...Life is not short, its in fact Long; when you make bad decisions, when you're constantly sick, when you stay in straining-draining relationships, and when you're broke... If you're no longer their flavor, let them GO, vamoose!

With Love, 
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl.©2015

The Most Annoying Social Media Punks!

There are those annoying things that peeps do on social media from Whats-app, to twitter [twitter had less shit though] and majorly on Facebook! I'm sure you've come across some if not all of them.

•Someone will worm into your whats-app inbox and send you a video on three hundred MB, what the hell? i only bought twenty five shillings worth of data, the economy is bad and my cash is not meant for solely buying data so that i can watch a silly video! 

•Just before you recover from the stupor by the long-ass video another moron sends you a a decorated message ten paragraphs long, demanding that you got to send that message to your thirty whats-app friends, him/her being one of them, so that you don't end up dying by the time the cock crows in the next morning. seriously people?...then there's another message they smear and overspread around, that its only when you forward the message to your ten buddies that the Whats-app CEO will take note and decide that he wont ever charge you for using the app. SMH!

•Then after that app foolery, you log into Facebook and find the irritating characters who post photos thirty three times in 12 hours of the food they've been eating -these are the same people who will start posting their poop pictures to show us what they excrete, it doesn't make you cool or rich of food, it makes you look more like a silly attention starved little child who has never seen a good plate of food. [Unless you're a chef or food photographer]. This looks worse when its a guy. Folks in the village harvest these foods and they don't flood us with pictures! I cannot start imagining what they'll post when they walk into a five star buffet!

•Then a guy you thought was mature posts selfies more than girls in your TL , 10 selfies In 8 hrs, Boy! It makes you look like a newbie teen on FB , narcissistic, psychopath-ish. lets say, a self centered  jerk who is trying so hard to be a socialite.

•Then just before you could take a chill pill, you meet the online super models! Who post [bathroom mirror reflection-ed] shirtless/topless and boob-full pics on the TL. Listen up culprits, such desperate actions makes you look lame and pretty dumb, why on earth do you want strangers to see your nostrils? the tyres on your waist? and your nipples? you pass for an attention seeking douche-bag and an inept wench. It's a turn off if you are ever looking to be taken seriously.

•Then there are these loonies who go posting photos of dead people on Facebook [some close ups!-like really!] It's in BAD taste! It doesn't make you look badass, it makes your ass look bad. Please respect the departed!

•Then before you finish being appalled by the photos of the dead, the ludicrous shows up liking all their posts and photos; why the hell do people even do this? People, you are not allowed to get that desperate! so you love what you've just written? why not like it by heart -since you wrote it anyway and not try increase those likes for your self, let the rest of us do that for you, that's why we are here very idle waiting for your new pictures.

•Then there's that annoying 'tagging' syndrome. hey hey hey, don't you tag me into your business! who doesn't hate this sickening obsession? tagging everyone in your [personal] photos and posts is just too nutty, especially if your information doesn't concern all the people that you've yanked along. 

•Then when you check your 99 notifications, you find that 99 ninnies went ahead and added you into a stupid group that DOES NOT concern any area of your life [sugar daddies union, legio maria saints , we are the illuminati, get rich today}! Social media should have a punch in the throat button for these kind of twits!

 •Then just before you get bored and log out you check your inbox and spot that guy who thinks is hot busy hitting on you, and just before you can finish reading his stupid ass essay, your friend tells you from the other room that she she has just received a hot text from a Facebook "mutual" friend and on comparing BAM! the Don Juan sent you the SAME stupid SCRIPT! so much of a hoodlum, he couldn't even bother to change some words.

i'll be back with the others when i spot them.


Yours, 
Auntie Social,
Njoki_ TheGoodBadGirl.©2015

The Unstimulating & Wimpy Brand Of Guys Without 'The Balls'

Men today have really taken the 'Equality' thing so seriously that they too want to be chased down to their mamas house for dating as well, they want you to go throw a pebble on their window at night so that they wake up and jump down the balcony to come over and have a five minute romance sport with you under the moonlight. They want women to be their 'Knights'. Guys i have news for you, until you have stolen our hearts, that wont happen, unless the lady is just too desperate to have you before she even knows your real legal name.

I have had like a dozen guys leaving their number on inboxes, on pms, writing their numbers on my palm, asking their friends to ask me to call them, giving their cards...etc and unless its business related matter, i have no business, chasing a guy down, bursting his cellphone with texts explaining who i am, where we met, and what i was wearing, how much i was swept off my high heels, when he was giving me that number.

I have a high opinion and respect for a Man who dares to ask for my number, to me he portrays confidence & courage, [in person , its so easy online...] because if i like them, i give the number peacefully, since i still hold the power to ignore them when they start pissing me off.

Very few men will dare ask a woman for her number these days. Guys want women to be the ones chasing them by calling them, impressing them, compelling them over and complimenting them on how 'cute' they really are, ladies do not fall for this because;

• A fellow who gives you his number and asks you to call is just a 'pussy' cat who is afraid of being rejected by you , and very very scared of you declining to give your number.

•This is the same type of a man that will take you out on a date and slip the bill to your direction so you pay for what you've spent. 

• A man who gives you his number online and goes like 'call me'  or 'text me' before you 'know' him outside the medium or before you exchange a line or two, leaves the responsibility on you, he leaves the ball in your court to do whatever you please with his number, because he doesn't give a damn whether you communicate or not...of which you shouldn't anyway.

• These type of men just want to elevate and boost their ego, way up above their heads. they are like 'the chicks chase me' so he undoubtedly won't value you. Easy come easy go.

•He is just a douche who is not really interested in you enough to risk asking for your number directly.

•These guys got no testosterone whatsoever, are very proud and cannot handle asking a lady for a simple number and risk being smacked by the confident ones who are not interested. They don't want to hassle!

•These guys  are a frustrated lot who sit and expects women to do the chasing since they're too cute to follow through and have the dumb mentality of "women are too many men can have three at a go, so they'll chase"

•These  'jerkamos' are uncertain of themselves and are not really after a relationship, they're just playing out their manipulative games on you.

NB: Guys,unless you want to be friend-zoned for life, take the risk [its attractive as hell] ask a girl for her number ...and not typing yours then logging out hastily to go wait for her call because you're so chicken. Shame on you by the way!

Young ladies, When you start chasing guys even before you know each others names, you sign up for being the pants wearers in these relationships. Halt the mission and pay attention only to those interested enough to properly ask you for your contacts and then ask you out.

PS...These types of spineless guys just want to get laid, and they want YOU as the woman to catalyze the process. Oh how ignominious can this be! arrrgggghh!

With Love,

©2015 Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl


...Have your say in the comments.

The 'Thirstiness' & Gloom For The Arab Money...

Cautionary Piece...but you do not have to believe me.

'Employment agents' or 'recruitment agencies' in Nairobi advertise various jobs for the foreign market especially the Arab countries, and ask desperate job seekers to pay half the ticket fare promising they'll take care of the rest. Many people especially women have fallen for this and signed contracts that they did not bother to read, and since they really want to get in a plane and go earn those Arab money, they do not think twice about the contractual bondage they are getting into. 

These contracts have clauses that make sure as a domestic worker, you cannot leave or get out of the house without permission and or, the term of the contract coming to an end or even before making enough money to pay your recruitment agency the half they paid for you, and of-course your return ticket. In short its called 'contracted Slavery', that you voluntarily got into and cannot just walk out on, which is legal when you arrive to your 'sponsor's' home. This becomes an unquestionably accepted bondage by these desperate Kenyans who wont learn by the example of others! which makes it difficult for Kenyan ambassadors in these countries to crack out on - after all its a "work" contract that you signed!...and if you annoy your sponsor enough they deny you, you will be claimed to be illegally there, which is more risk to be jailed

 Most of the countries like Qatar, Jordan, Iraq, Bahrain, Some parts of Dubai and Saudi Arabia operate under the popular 'kafala system' to date, this means that when your agent takes you to these countries and hands you over to your new boss, the new boss practically & legally owns you and is responsible for your being in the country [as a willing slave i feel]. Therefore your new boss will help you in 'safe keeping' your travel documents once you set foot in their home. Documents that you will not see again... and this might include your mobile phone so that you cannot 'waste' time talking and chatting, but slaving. 

Laws in these countries do not give a damn about domestic workers, so even if you think you can runaway, you will be arrested for running away, because your employer will report exactly that, your employer can even report you for stealing or hurting the baby, and where you report on rape, its their laws they can even claim its who who raped them.! 

Like in Qatar, i hear the labor laws do not protect domestic workers, so running to the police to report will most-likely land you into more trouble like being locked up for many months at the 'deportees' holding centers- which to my ears sounds more like a jail.

These foreign homes hold huge extended families, families live like thirty of them in one house. Once these naive women get and meet 'evil' employers, they are forced to work for very long hours, washing, cleaning, cooking after everyone in that house...it becomes unending job that workers do without rest, and most times with little or no pay, undoubtedly. 

Now, people are busy crying to the "government" to help those stuck in Saudi Arabia, after going to work and getting it rough. If this "government" was actually a person, then all these demands by hardheaded, unlistening, unheeding citizens would have maimed 'him'. People travel there without informing anyone where exactly they're going but their agents, and when they finally get 'home arrested' by employers, get no pay nor food and beaten to pulp, its when they let 'government' know they've actually been there for two years!

People have been warned time and again against travelling to Saudi Arabia to work as house helps since satan was a boy and they just NEVER listen despite all the people that have been coming out with tales on how they've suffered in the house of their employers. I cant lie, but i do not feel sorry for these people since they volunteer everyday. Furthermore. they afforded to pay a whole sixty thousand to get into the Arabian modern slavery instead of using it to start a business here. Its not easy here, but hey, we are surviving! Wouldn't you rather suffer here where you can jump over the fence at 11 pm and go home when you quarrel with your boss? No?

There are house helps paid up to twenty thousand shillings here in the city, but naive girls want to fly over, without any experience of house work and expect the angry Arabs to smile with them. House work cannot be guessed, just because you completed class eight and form four doesn't make you a qualified baby sitter, cleaner or housekeeper. You don't expect to burn a whole barrel of biriani or ruin an expensive garment and go without a beating.

The sound of 'huge' amounts of money may be attractive when recruitment agencies tell it, but its not only a  mammoth lie, but the restrictive contract systems evidently leaves A LOT of room for exploitation. Those who are traveling are doing so willingly, unless someone somewhere was trafficked in a suitcase, is there one yet? Those still planning to go over there, go at your own risk. The rest of us shall be in Kenya struggling to build the country...

Kenyans, why not just work here, if especially you have to pay to go work and if you are not a qualified housekeeper, please keep your ass at home and find work that you are 'qualified' to do, or whatever work you will get.

If you're still holding the thoughts of improving your life as an unskilled domestic worker in the foreign, think twice, it shall come as a price as we've seen so far!

Sincerely,
©2015Njoki-GoodBadGirl

Hush-Hush Crime Of Parent Abuse; Their House, Their Rules...

Who in their right head does this here? shame on you!

It's real and it's happening, just like abuse of children is publicly happening and publicly demonized [and yes child abuse should not be entertained at all] ... abuse of parents is happening, only that parental abuse is a silent epidemic and it doesn't get out of families or reported that easily since parents do not want to embarrass their seemingly "perfect" children's image - who are the sole providers of medication especially, and or to avoid embarrassing themselves for not raising their children well. We have rallied for abused children, husbands and women, why not abused parents as well?

The verbal, physical, emotional abuse, the shoving, kicking, back talking, spitting, yelling and insulting own parents should not even exist in this society, not with our African traditions and taboos. In fact, i cannot keep a friend who disrespects, insults their parents to their faces, it’s just bad, how can i even trust you? i don't know about you, but i can't deal with it.

"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you" - Deuteronomy 5:16 . I know parents can be abusive too, but why go along, just walk out, its better that way...

People nowadays have decided that just because they have three degrees, just because they have been in a plane, just because they have ten cars, and several lovers, just because they no longer eat 'githeri' and ugali as breakfast, just because they only speak perfect English and their parents cannot, young people think that they can insult, curse, walkaway & forget, and throw things at their old mother and father and walk away into a good life unscathed.


It's very normal to conflict and quarrel with parents BUT, its never right to get the abuse back and forth with them, it's never worth the trouble. This is almost the only time you should practice "giving the other cheek" wisdom. We forget that we are getting older and we shall be helpless, frail parents just like our parents are, and this earth belongs to God, and karma walks, everything you do to your parent, you must pay for it, not because your mother cursed you, but because that's how nature works.

We go ahead as children and take sides, its fine; but there's a certain age that you get the gist of what’s going on, that’s when you get to feel how hard relationships can get, and you quit taking sides on your parents. When they fight, don't take sides and gang up to beat/kill the other, just chill and talk to the 'bad one' nicely, since, to them you're a kid and you really don't know the truth of the matter. 

Our parents are human too, they get on our nerves with their unending talk and same old advice, but hey! you don't have to tell them to shut up, parents are always 'right' in their right as parents, you do not have to do as they say, just listen and then go do as you please when you go to YOUR house. Some parents are drunkards, but we do not have to beat them up or kill them, when you can't take their abuse or unending troubles, leave quietly, when parents beat you up, just get up and go your way - [they will pay their own price] talk to someone and let it all out and move on, when you're annoyed, just roll your eyes [when they're not looking :) ] ...but refrain from throwing a hot cup of boiling porridge your mothers face just because she asked you why you're not married yet. That's an insult to them, forget not that Beating up your mom and dad is unacceptable and inexcusable and a tear from a father or mother can ruin your entire future - whether it applies in your culture or not.

People in the city wonder why they have got good education, but very bad luck with managing the huge amount of money they get as a salary, they wonder why their relationships never work, or even why getting or sustaining a job becomes a battle...people forget that when they walked out of the village, they pushed their old mother aside, she fell and broke a rib when she asked to get a water tank, they forget they insulted their old dad when he asked for money to buy medication. It’s an abomination to lift a finger against one's parent... And this kind of bad omen can only be broken when you apologize to your old folks by acknowledging your faults and being sorry for them. A pastor praying for you won’t help you much if you haven't acknowledged your wrongs first.

When you abuse your parent/parents you present;

•Total Immaturity, you look chronically stupid and you haven't grown up enough to manage your feelings and stresses despite your age
•Disrespect, you have no respect for the elderly , not even your parents.
•You've got issues - that you haven't sorted and your parents are the only scapegoats and you have a serious mental problem.
•Self-esteem issues -you have failed to get it together in your life and you're making your mother pay for it
•Control freak - that can only control old people and not yourself
•Selfish- you come off as a self-centered rat that wants to get everything, their way, from old helpless elders! 

•••If you're an abuser, just grow the hell up!  

Handle your personal frustrations quietly. Be humble and be nice to your parents so that it can be well with you. Your parent can bless or curse you - a parental blessing is very important. Therefore, love and obey your parents, for this is the first commandment with a promise. If you are a believer; The Bible says, "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth" Eph 6:2

No matter what your mother or father does or says to you or even insults you or even slaps you for no reason, you will NEVER get sympathy for beating/insulting/killing them. If you live with your 'pain in the neck' kind of parents [they exist-and they are a real pain i know] ...just move out. When you stay away from each other, you'll be able to respect each other's boundaries. Distance works.

I'm not here to teach you how to live your life, but to remind you; what goes around comes around and, 'Karma' is a scorned "bitch" and it makes sure that you pay IN THIS LIFE what you do in this life.


Sincerely
 ©2015 Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl