Pick One, Values Or Sexual Attractiveness?

"Personal values are people's internal conception of what is good, beneficial, important, useful, beautiful, desirable, constructive, etc..."

"Sexual attractiveness or sex appeal is an individual's ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person"

Many have, and I have loved someone who doesn't share my values and family setting believes few years back and I came into conclusions that shared values are way better than shared "interests" [which can be acted]  and physical attractiveness the Tall Dark & Handsome [but chronically boring and unintelligent] that I've unrepentant had, up to now we do not agree on almost everything with this person even though we are "okay" friends who cannot live in the same house because one of us will get bored and the other annoyed. I mostly get both the annoyed and bored to tears as am the one who has to keep the fire burning, I'm overly energetic and talkative. I don't think we both took enough time to learn each others core values or even took it seriously and I mostly thought its something I could change overtime, I only got exhausted! That taught me that we should look to have life partners who share our kind of values, interests and believes. 

People have gone ahead and married partners that are not of the same religion and principles thinking that with time one of them might change and or, they can uphold both religious faiths without any problem, some work in very rare cases but majority proves as not workable after a couple of years alongside arguments because Values are permanent like behaviors and they do not just change.

An attempt to change a grown up behavior is troublesome and opens up room for a very huge disappointment. Which makes me believe that instead of killing yourself with the job of changing someone's believes, beliefs, behaviors and line of thoughts, why not just be in relationship with people who already possess what you desire. Change is work and it does not just happen because you are crying and praying for it, and unless its your change, you shouldn't hope to see it realize.

Main Values & Believe differences that cause conflicts in our relationships

Sexual Values. 

Your sexual value is your personal beliefs, attitudes or feelings about sex and sexuality. Sex is a major part of relationship, that I cannot start imagining how it can work when you have different believes and values in it, like in the commitment part of it all. One person might strictly believe that they cannot do with just a single partner, another may believe in orgies, another in partner swinging, another in oral sex, anal sex, while you might well disagree with everything which will be the cause of a pitfall in your relationship, and to avoid such a calamity why not just find out about these kind of believes and values before getting deep into a serious relationship. I take sex seriously and I do my best to find out what someone am interested in and is interested in me thinks around it because am not ready to do things outside my ethics in the name of sex.

Religion.

Attempting to convert someone with different religious views even among mere friends create bitterness since one person will feel that their side of believes is being undermined. Just think about a few questions like; how will you handle parenting when it comes to it, what side will your kids follow? No religion is entirely the heaven ticketing one, but same spiritual dimensions play a major part on our growth in relationships.

Money/Financial Values.

Money does not buy sincere love partners , although it does bring them violently apart. Money is an area that causes a lot of fights in relationships, both the old and young relationships suffer because of money conflicts. You might come along a shopaholic who cannot help with impulse buying, you are deemed to suffer if this money being used extravagantly is under your name. When your partner thinks buying a home is not important and rather feels that buying himself a luxury car is, you are set to really fight and probably lose in this argument. Not seeing things from the same lens can brew lots of trouble.

Honesty/Loyalty/Trust/Fidelity Values.

People have different levels moral believes and some got none, some have very high honesty and loyalty levels, many others people do not think or feel that its important to uphold integrity or honesty in relationships today, when you have to deal with such a person as a high believer in the moral ladder, you are doomed to be undernourished in this kind of relationship. 

Children.

Some people value their freedom more when it comes to having children. I have seen women who have accepted to get into serious relationships with men who told them they do not want children from the word go, but the women secretly held it on imagining they can change a man's mind about the matter as they go. Which doesn't exactly happen. Just the other day there was such a story on the papers and the man in question made the woman have 'an unconscious' abortion every time she got pregnant. Why sign up for such BS when you an have a man who wants a family? 

*** ***     

When you have major differences in major values and believes in your relationship, you are bound to fail. If you are not ready for frequent quarrels, being yelled at, getting the silent treatment when you are right, being told that you are acting stupid and talking stupid or being miss/Mr smartypants, acting dumb and acting bossy when from your end you are merely trying to get things in order using your personal values, then look at your value checklist. 

In retrospect, I know its very important for people to have the same ethics and believes, young people shouldn't bother with individuals they hope to change when they marry them, people are very independent nowadays as they are dramatic and crazy, you should not buy the imagined or promised 'potential' but what is. Otherwise, you'll end up wasting so much time like I did. 

Sexual attractiveness will not make sense when your values and the other persons values are not agreeing at the least. Sexual attractiveness dies a slow death, you never have a good time unless you are engaging sexually. This is why one partner will cheat with someone uglier than you and you are left there wondering why. Alignment as communication, is key.

Standardization of believes and values bring much more respect and happiness in relationships than having to prepare yourself for the tedious work of having to change someone overtime at the expense of your happiness and peace, since big differences in values may mean big differences in dreams and ambitions. 

...Imagine you are a quiet person, you think well in the calm of total tranquility and silence, then you get a loudmouth for a partner who wont stop talking and yelling, who won't understand the importance of quiet repose, when all you seek is peace that comes from within...I cant.

For a healthy relationship, you will need to find someone with whom you're fully compatible, someone with the same baseline as you.

Your Friend.
©NjokiTheGoodBadGirl™2015 

The Season Of Lights & The Evil Within...

When I wrote about the evils of the season on my Facebook page, some asked how real it is others asking to know more and I thought to expound here on the much I know. I am a very inquisitive person and I ask questions about what is going on and more on things I do not understand. I also read a lot of materials, the true and the untrue since I know that I cannot criticize or write about stuff I do not know about of their negative and positives.

Below is a post I made on my Facebook.

"Young Men & women, do not be amazed by what you see or who you meet, neither who gives you a ring and a necklace...Satan knows your weakness & will test you. If you're a slave to money, sex, clubbing, parties he will use that against you. 
Men, do not let your mind be blown away by Females who you thought you can't get a chance with coming onto you suddenly, in Double Teams.
Satan is real, so is the Holy Trinity. It has happened, it will this season and the following. Its the season for satan and agents to deceive, entertain you & destroy you. Its sacrifice time, Its blood&souls Harvest time, when many fatal road accidents happen with 'clean' scenes, time we have careless sex, we accept strange body marks, we abort, we try new drugs. This is the time We've got to Reflect, Chill and Pray for protection.
This is the season we girls are invited to house & pool parties by a friend who knows a friend who was invited, we're invited to sex orgies in the name of sexual freedom & fun, then we are drugged, body fluids collected and or raped, some impregnated & trapped into evil-dark calamities without their knowledge. We're invited to 'Keshas' at some new church... After all this initiation-looking fun ordeal, you get one problem after another, after another. 
Men, Beware...evil women will double team you, and convince you into a threesome. They will collect your resultant fluids by hand, mouth, condoms or either their sin hole to use, rule and control you; have you eating from their palms. 
No one really 'worships' satan by accident, God gave us a conscience to help us choose. Don't enter into spiritual bondage in the name of Christmas fun"

...Check yo' self!
Your Friend,

-NjokiGoodBadGirl.

...Why do you think satanist and cultists are able to deceive Christians so easily? Its because they read the bible word by word, they change it and bend it just to suit their own beliefs. Imagine if you read the bible to gain information to help yourself... how powerful do you think it would be for you? I think God's speed! 

When we get in 'negative energy' problems, its because we have let them in, knowingly and unknowingly. Some people have been affected by evils spirits they do not understand for ages! and without knowing people knowing they can be prayed for by an exorcist to deliver them, some have lived in this bondage to the end of their days.

      By which doors do we welcome negative energy/spirits?

•By using the good luck charms from seers and tarot card readers

 These are places we are taken by our friends, and this is a door we open for the negative spirits to get in. Once we let astrologers touch us and charge us with their negative spirits, we leave that door open for more of their negative spirits to come in!

•By watching pornography & addictions

 Pornography watchers are addicted to such a wicked evils, such that it only fulfills them for a few seconds and leave them with a lifetime of regret, guilt and embarrassment. So does alcoholism and other substance abuse. When you see an abuser rape and kill his children, a bad spirit is reigning in and over them. Alcohol does not erase our stresses, it only adds on them.

•By bringing home an idol that you bow to;

We are told that certain statues are of Jesus's and we buy them and take them to our homes and start praying to them, this does not please God at all. we are warned against making/bowing to graven images. I have ever bought a picture of 'jesus' and I could feel like this 'jesus' is watching me, I also felt like I should pray looking at him, which made me get rid of it eventually.

•Haunted house/keeping haunted items

Maybe you bought a bed from the auction center, who knows, maybe the bed was owned by a witch or an occult member... and maybe the last owner of the home you've moved into was into occult and had left strange items stuffed in the ceiling or even other areas. The spirits the past tenant left will affect you whether you know it or not! 

•By playing weird games

Kenyans will copy anything they see on the international media, from playing Ouija boards to seeking out mediums so that they can speak to the dead. There is a Tv show that a medium tells the audience what their dead relatives are communicating. God warns us against consulting mediums, look for the story of King Saul and the medium, read it and get the message straight. Even horror films about Ouija boards have been made. Beware and distance yourself.

•By allowing body drawings 

We see young people everyday accept body drawings on their bodies, with signs and symbols that they have no idea what they really mean. You could engrave yourself with occultist symbols. 

•By opening your so called third eye/Kundalini & Practising lucid dreaming using yoga techniques 

Kenyans are very good at copying, now everyone in the city is into yoga! then in thing, people want to get in touch with their inner selves. They want to open their third eyes, ignorant how dangerous it gets to open up the spirit world eventually. Again I insist open your mind and read about things before doing them, if only just to know what to expect. Google is here so that you don't have to make a trip to the library. Look up what Kundalini is.  

•Via Visiting witches/wizards,

 Even if its your parents who visited; the minute you or your parents visit witch doctors, it follows you till you denounce it. Satan does not truly heal you, he will heal you physically yes, but will not let you know the ultimate PRICE. Do not let people experiment hypnosis with you! These evil people deal with spiritual worlds and you better keep away. 

•Via Taking oaths and vows

Young people believe they're the first ones to fall in love. You see 18 year old's taking blood oaths promising each other an everlasting love ! This is utter foolishness! as I wrote on my previous article, the feelings you have when you are 18 will not be the same when you are 27! Do not cut  a finger and lick each others blood making blood covenants that  I am 100% sure you will not fulfill! Its evil! the bible wars us against such behaviors! As proverbs 21:23 say " Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles" Don't do stupid things in the name of love. They will follow you since you will forget and go away from your promise!

•Via Jewelry 

You will go market places and buy jewelry, especially the secondhand which I advice against. If anything, buy new things, used stuff is not always innocent since you never know who associated with them. Okay, you can buy and cleanse by prayer, but why take chances!

•By letting strange people pray by laying hands on you.

Do not let referrals come and put their hands on you ooh! beware! not all hands are of God! not everyone is sent by God. Do not let every tom dick and harry pray for you! I know that concerned friends will tell us about great prayer warriors that can pray for us to get jobs, but be cautious, you might sign up to something that will affect your whole life even with that job you really wanted to get.

•Sex

Sex creates soul ties, when the bible told us that marriage unites two people into one body, it meant that their souls become one. Most of us have fornicated several times and we are simply lucky if we are still operating well. When we go having careless sex, we might sleep with people who carry bad spirits, even without their knowledge and when we decide to get married issues arise as payback for our bad behaviors.


Please fellow young people, stop involving yourselves in things you DO NOT understand, do not experiment with your spirit and bodies, no matter who tempts you, getting in is easy as ABC, but getting out is total trouble.


...You don't have to believe me, you cant just make this kinda stuff up, look around, most of all, read for your self and seek information from your local priest.


2 Cor 11:14 "And no wonder! for Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light!" 

1 John 4:1 "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world."


1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."


Someone may ask, how about myself...well, I know I am vulnerable, that's the reason you will never find me in some places, am not special, I get nightmares, I get sleep paralysis sometimes, like everyone else, BUT most of all I PRAY for protection. No One is special, Christian or Not, the devil makes his attempts anyway.

Let me tell you, These evil spirits come to our lives the moment we are suffering and very desperate. They take that chance because they know that the chances of us fighting off the temptations are pretty low. 


Most people do not even know what they are getting into, they only wonder why they are so deep in the abyss of spiritual problems that they are unable to get out of. 


Beware or Be Square!


Blessings,

©Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl™2015

Why Did She Cheat? - for guys

Morality is corrupted within relationships in Kenya and over.

A brokenhearted guy wrote in and asked me to help him understand why his girlfriend cheated on him when he has been a good boyfriend for six years. Well, this is not new, people cheat all the time.

Women also cheat just like men do, its just that women hide it a bit better and getting caught becomes distant. The belief that women in committed unions can't cheat because of 'limited attention', bad sex and even because of the need of 'extra sex' is inexact. Males and females have equal sexual and sensual needs, and since men cheat for adventure or dissatisfying sex, women do the exact same.

REASONS WHY YOUR WOMAN IS CHEATING ON YOU

She just wanted your money.

Sometimes a woman will start a relationship with a rich-ass guy so that she can get her hands on his money and not because she is in love or truly interested in any other thing but the cash. When the cash diminishes, she's gone too, or even if the cash is still flowing, the girl will have a side guy that she loves, has a good time and sleeps with while you are there imagining your money has her all hooked. Money can't change a calculated cheater.

You are no longer nice to her.

Men say that women relax after marriage all the time, or even after getting the official girlfriend status. Men do the same thing, a guys takes a huge chill pill that he no longer brushes his teach, he throws socks everywhere, gets boring and gets verbally disrespectful. Men cease to be as nice as they were in the beginning. Guys, please realize that, there's always another guy over your head waiting for you to fail so that he can take over.

You got lots of stupid baggage!

You are that guy that has seven baby mommy's that want to kill you, someone in the estate who wants to kill you because they suspect that you're a nightly armed robber. Some upright intelligent women will not want to deal with this kind of baggage. Even if you have a baby mommy, take control of your life, provide for the kids and ensure your life doesn't cause the current woman's life with your annoying drama! No smart woman want the baby momma yelling at her front door or even at a party, just because a nigger cannot take care of his mess! If she can't deal, she walks out, and you're left there thinking she cheated, no, she moved on without letting you know.

You've got the "am not ready vibe"

Some players announce that they are not ready for serious relationship from day one. Which is a good thing because it makes a woman like me know that i wasted an hour being nice...but some lame niggers will promise to 'get ready as you go' [ women don't fall for a promise] ...A woman who knows what she wants from a relationship, will not stick around for a guy who doesn't know what he wants, these lame ass guys who will want girlfriend privileges without giving boyfriend privileges. A smart woman moves on to a serious man who wants to create a future.

You don't acknowledge her existence by introductions

You take your girl so casually that you tell your friends that she is just a close friend when she really is in love with you, a serious woman will grab a chance to be with another serious man who will value her and her time, while you hang there and think she will stick around for with your BS.

You don't gift her-we've got a thing with gifts

You've been dating since 1927 and you've never bothered to buy a 500/= worth of a wrist watch or even a scarf, dude any woman will walk out on your selfish and stingy ass. We as women feel treasured and loved when we are gifted, we take these gifts [not your money] very seriously! That's why a woman will move on to a guy who takes her out and gets her gifts, because we like gifting back as much as we are gifted. Who wants to create a life with a stingy man who will not buy a gift for his first born child?... it starts from dating.

You starved her off for affection

You no-longer kiss or hold her spontaneously as you did before. You never call her sweet names like you did before, this makes her feel left out and forgotten. Guys, you should know that with women, all women, the thick, the slim, the fat, the ugly, with ALL of them, there is always another man on the waiting room. If you don't step up. there's always a plan B waiting for us to step out of the rocky boat. We love passionate people. we love being treated as important, and we love it when our affection being duly reciprocated.

You treat her like she is stupid

Some men who think are smart treat all women inconsiderable and base like children. Smart women do not take being treated as if dumb lightly. If you want to deal with dumb-ass women, date a real dumb ass woman and not try to serve an intelligent woman like a small child. Like when you lie through your teeth right on to woman's face like she cannot decipher a thing.

She got bored!

When you've been dating her from class six back in primary school, through high-school and while you're both in different colleges, and you still feel you'll be on the same page after all these years, oh boy! tastes change, a woman learns existence of other than the usual you males out there, she likes them and desires a taste of the outside world. So by the time you both get jobs and you want to settle, she settles with you out of pity that you've stuck around for so long. She gets bored and seeks adventures through cheating. A woman may not like a certain quality like she did back in high-school, a man may not like your new character either. Always keenly re-evaluate such lengthy relationships as they lead to huge disappointments as people grow change overtime. 

She doesn't like you anymore and wants to break up

When you have bullshitted a woman for three long years, and she forgave you all that time and you will not bother to change your bad behavior, it comes to a time that a woman cheats so that she can step out of the relationship which has already bored her to tears. She cheats , and makes sure you get to know so that she can get rid of you in the most hurtful way.

She thinks you are cheating too

Cheaters are always paranoid that they are being cheated on. A cheating woman will cheat on you because she thinks you've been cheating too just because you got real quiet when you came come all stressed and did not want to talk much, have dinner or even make love. [which she interpreted as sexual activity exhaustion]. Cheaters get jealous and insecure that you may be cheating, and that alone drives them to cheat counting it as payback.

Last but not least, your woman is just adDICKted! and must have three different Johns at a go its in her and there's nothing you or the cathedral exorcist can do, she is just doomed into slut-dom and that's it.

Guys, if she cheats, maybe its your fault or maybe its her hobby.

Your Girl,

©Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl™2015

Polygamy Is Legal Alright, But Can You Afford It?

Polygamy throughout history was not for the poor fellas. Lanes must be observed. If you are poor and try get two women in your home, you'll die from broke arguments from your wives because of your 'broke-ness'! 

Polygamy and Polyandry are not really sins, its okay for men to marry the number of women they prefer, but can these men take care of all these women and ensure they are all recognized by his family? This rarely happens since people are so phony nowadays and would rather hide their mischievous and careless sexual relations under the guise of being in 'open relationships/marriages' that have no commitment or responsibility, which allows individuals to sleep around as much as they choose to without the other party having the right to complain.

Polygamy is one man marrying several women as wives. That sounds great to the men, till you mention Polyandry which is a woman having more than one man. I do not think there's any man worth his ego who can allow the woman sleep with another man apart from himself. In South Africa, polygamy is legal, polyandry is illegal... huh!

Men were very happy when polygamy without wife's consent was discussed and successfully passed as a valid law just the other day in Kenya. But am yet to see a man on the altar marry four wives at a go. Men marry the second woman or rather 'keep' the other woman when the first one gets, old and boring, and even as soon as he is no longer excited by her presence.

Polygamy worked in the years before the 90's, it worked fine to some point and where it is being practiced today, the women involved are not a happy lot. Men practiced polygamy when and because they had lots of property to show their capability to take care of four women together with their tens of children! 

Today, men are talking about going polygamy as a route to drive their unending lust or dissatisfaction in their self selected marriage partners! if at all its about polygamy, we would be seeing polygamous marriages happen every Saturday! and all the three women well maintained. In rare cases, men are practicing 'silent polygamy' whereby men marry one woman, he gets bored after a year or two and marries another mostly under customary laws, some of these fellas at the least are responsible for the women they are marrying and leaving plus their kids, but the bitter pill falls on the women who are left behind to take care of children with 'no one to love them' or satisfy their sexual needs when these men move on with their lives by marrying other women!

Men, if you have not even constructed a nice house for your momma, and your legal wife whom you keep in the noisy city rentals, how will you fund your second and third women when you marry them? Ask yourself, do you have enough property or even true love or do you just want to taste different women 'legally' and brag about it? Women who are fixed in polygamous family acting happy are just pretenders, no woman is honestly happy to be placed number two, or to be overstepped by a new comer. 

If anything, it is more beneficial for a woman to have 'multiple husbands' - polyandry, which results to few children and more men contributing. Polygamy for women is not beneficial at all because its multiple wives, never ending children and one man contributing to all women, which puts the man in a tight position.

If a wife gets physically disabled for some reason, or even when terminal diseases occur, it would be fine and fair to allow the husband to get another woman who will know she is second and will respect the first wife, to fulfill his needs at home. It would be very selfish and hypocritical to deny a man to marry another woman when you cannot give him what you were giving him before whatever the mishap happened.  

Truth is, we are ALL getting selfish, jealous and needy creatures in some ways and degrees as the time goes, there will be, there has been, death threats, murders, chronic stalking in the face of  legal and illegal Polygamy and Polyandry practiced in this time and age.

In any case, having four legal wives cannot prevent a philandering husband to cheat on his forty wives and bring them disease which will conveniently spread in all of them. Greed has no end, its on going, besides when a male cannot control his own needs, he ceases to be a Man.

Fairness is; if you are not okay with your lady having an extra man to satisfy her extra sexual escapades, well, have your polygamous family in your dreams. If women are greedy for wanting two men with different physiques and sexual heights, then a man is greedy too for wanting more than one woman to satisfy his sexual needs. 

Bottom-line is; Its Not Really About Polygamy Today, Its All Lust And Sexual Greed.

FYI , Love is very very conditional. whoever said its not, lied!

Yours Truly,
©Njoki-GoodBadGirl™2015