The Hefty Price Of Being Beautifully Hot...

Beauty as they said, lies in the eye of the beholder. You may not think you are hot but, "they" might. Ever been surprised when you find a beautiful women sociable and not actually a snob as forethought? Yeah right, its because you are 'judgy' and you judged her.

Beautiful people have physical issues too, but people out here do not understand that. A woman may be excruciatingly HOT but she gets the hardest time when trying to date or trying to get a man or even as final as a husband. Just like all the hullabaloo about the beauty queen who married a rich governor in Nigeria this girl for all i care, she is honest, maybe she tried to love younger guys but they were unavailable, insincere, and untrustworthy. 

The benefits beautifully attractive people will get equals the hard time they get in social life. If you are honest to yourself, and you know you are beautiful and hot, then you know just how much crucifixion happens out there, the stereotyping, and how desperate it can get - wanting people to see the real you but they just hang on your physical elements. We all know that men between 24-35 play a lot of games, and they are never ready to settle down to make a home, and that's why many of us - women will go out with married men and single guys who are forty five years since the guys who are 30 do not give a damn about making  a relationship work with beautiful women.

Everybody assumes that pretty, attractive people have an easy time getting a partner, but its a wrong assumption, attractive persons -women- have the hardest time since men tend to see beautiful women are "blond" "bitchy" "drama queens" or "stupid" and do not believe they can ever make faithful-trustworthy girlfriends or wives or even proper mothers to their children. Men assume just because you are pretty and at the club to have a little fun, you are looking to get laid. Men will feel that just because you are pretty, you are only good rolling in bed - and will use and dump you just when you thought things were going well.

Being beautiful and too beautiful sometimes comes as a barrelful of a curse. Its when you're beautiful that you'll attract players, you'll attract creepy people who will even stalk you as you go home, you'll have too much meaningless attention! people wont take you seriously, You'll be stalked by grown ass women who are hallucinating that you are sleeping with their tired husbands, these women will even knock on your door to let you know that their eyes are on you and tell you never let to don a mini skirt lest heir husbands gets sexually attracted!

People LOVE to assume that cute people are chronically stupid. I was once an active runway model and not once or twice did i meet people who came up with fraudulent-deceitful "business" proposals for me, and thank God, i had my head together and the fast life never swayed my thinking, hard drugs are too available and its no problem sinking with that ship. When you are a model, since you're all skinny and naive looking, these people will lie they have a crazily well paying job- and when you go to "sign up" for the "job" its either you are being cheated into paying for a photo-shoot, or its porn acting they called you for, or the "online modeling" that is usually stripping and masturbating for old foreigners on the internet - which pays well by the way, if your morals do not affect your actions. This is partly why i quit all the modeling life and tried to settle for office jobs where i can be taken seriously. I love being taken seriously since i got no time to play games!

Believe me, beautiful hot ladies have a hard time, they are usually depressed and alone, strangers will call them whores just because they worked so hard to buy a car, just because they have a child out of wedlock that is attending an expensive private school, most hot single mothers are usually sad and closely lonely whether they are rich or otherwise, just look at Whitney Houston, look at her daughter, and look at some of the most popular single and hot women around, they are mostly un-married even at 37, while on the outside they play all happy for the camera.

Most people assume that beautiful-attractive-hot women are perfect and have perfect lives which is not true, beauty is burdening. Just look at all the people who were considered as "less attractive" back in college or high school...they are all happily married while the rest of us are still in the dating pool with fools - mostly. Instead of playing games, some of us just choose to keep un-attached. The possible partners who are your age feel you are too cute to be a housewife, to be "kept" - because your beauty will make men drool over you every time and all the attention from all the estate guys will make you trip, thus cannot trust that you can hold off.

What most ya'll need to recognize is that the beauty charms do not come with perfection; the perfect judgement, perfect personality, perfect selection, perfect mind or even perfect life...it can be annoying to be too good looking, for instance; for a guy you deeply like, he might feel so intimidated by you to even look at you leave alone saying 'hi'  leaving only weirdos to stalk you up because they think pretty people' get scared easily. Next time don't ask why painfully pretty 24-33 year old girls are marrying 45-50year olds - like that Nigerian beauty queen and others like that Kenyan gospel singer-instead of getting their own age mates. The older guys know how to listen and take care of their women and they wont update every problem that happens on Facebook.

Cheers!

Njoki TheGood-Badgirl

Social Media Most Irritating Habits!

Don't we ol h8it wen pipo tx lyk dis...arrggg! Besides the texting claptrap used by Nairobi-ans and those out of Nairobi who think its super-cool to text xaxa and the other stomach churning lingo which is excruciatingly annoying every time you open a whats app message, sms,Twitter DM and FB Inbox.

The Claptrap, screams  immature so loudly that you get an automatic headache out of it! I physically feel pained to come across the lame stunts online all the time, some of the shit i have never found a second to reply to, it comes as an automatic dismissal. All over social media, the below and a thousand more annoying behaviors from grown ass people are prevalent.

Calling Everyone Hun,Darling, My Love.
•Call me by my name please! You are not allowed to call me and my kind Hun, babes, Bae, Darling etc...on Facebook, nigga i don't know you, you don't have my number- and if i gave you my number maybe it was just business and if socially given then i ignored you after a few, its because i had a high regard for you before but you failed me miserably. Spare me the Hun business till I'm actually your official girlfriend, if ever.

'Sweetening' Everyone
•Jeez even the thought of it gives me a migraine! Ever seen those of the opposite sex who "sweety" everyone and everything on Facebook comments?! NEVER ever call me swirry, or text me xwitty or even sweety, i don't care how cool it sounds to you....Please use my official name. Even when we are close as toes, don't swirry me! [makes me clench my teeth!]

Hopping On Conclusions
•Just because i sent you a smiley doesn't mean I'm  your woman, just because i greeted you good morning with a December smile doesn't mean i want you, just because i giggled at your joke doesn't mean i want sex.... please don't go telling everybody that I'm yours, ask me first if I'm interested to that level. Don't even think of writing on my wall about where you'd like us to go when i agree on that date- that wont happen!

I will Block You Threats & Theatrics...
• "Hey why are you ignoring me,Do you want me to block you right now? Who even cares? i block people without warning them as long as they validly get on my personal nerves! If i ignored you, and you are now vexed, please don't ask me if i want you to block me, please block me, there's a good reason why I'm ignoring you and that is evident already. No one is too special, even my mom ignores my woes.

Leaving Announcements
•I'm still amazed by those people who like telling social media that they are back! and when they are leaving social media; "Good bye folks, i will be leaving Facebook for good, Facebook is childish" "Hey guys i wont be available on Facebook for six months i am traveling, see you l8tr" well guess what , WE DON'T CARE! leave and we wont miss you, and if we do miss you we shall let you know, no one is forced to join Facebook and other social media, so leave as quietly as you came in.

Idle Trolls!
• There are those very idle people, they will stalk you, insult you on your post, and friend request all your friends so that you seem closer than you really are. The mighty dumb-asses go ahead to 'gall and bile' all over on Facebook on yours and your friends posts and Facebook articles they have not read- and actually tag you on, they validate the bitter pointless comments by hearsay and the headline. Just like those who got the wrong ID on me when the difference is so clear-cut, Some people just need to piss off.

The Imprecise!
•I'm certain you've spotted those vague posts like "Shit!!!!" "This is annoying..." so that people can get to ask  "whats up" a hundred times. while others post "At Kenyatta" so that you can be flooded with "kwani what happened? "sorry" "get well soon" while that moment these turds are somewhere at Hilton square reading all the concerns from the sincerely concerned netizens without answering any of them!

The Con- Marketers!
•Not forgetting the damned marketers, they go posting something online for sale without prices along with the post, fifty comments follow with "how much" and all they can do is be the hundredth and one to comment with "inbox me your numbers" "inbox" seriously what sort of bullshit is this!..Did i just forget those who post their items for sale on your post of item for sale?!

Hash-taggers!
•Then there are those people who will post a whole post on hashtags! did you discover that thing last night? they post a photo of themselves they go like #NjokiChegeMsafi #YuleSweetestNaMnastiest smh..  #TheChickThatGotYourMan #NjokiTheAuthorOfAnnoyingArticles #NJokiFaceoffWithTheWorld #NjokiNoiseMaker Damn it! We get it alright, its tiring! 
Then there are those Obnoxious characters with long lame ass names like some i have spotted "Toni yule mras mfyam" "Lydia yule Mtightest" "karo yule Mbaddest Mnoma Kuliko Sistako" "Rogers Kapanya Kabaya" WTF!! is wrong with people? can't you just write your honorable name!!!? Having names like above is immaturity of the highest order.

The Emo-addicts
•Then there are the over users of emoticons especially on text messaging, you write a whole paragraph and some idiot only replies with the :p [the tongue stuck-out emoji]. I hate that emo the most cause' i particularly picture someone doing that tongue out on me in real life and its not an attractive sight to look at!

The Sharing Freaks!
•Those people who will share pictures of every meal, every convo snapshot they had all day long, everything they heard at the neighbors, everything they thought of while they were sitting on the traffic jam...photos of themselves at the dentist getting that tooth removed & then posting the disgusting tooth, others getting puss removed from their wounds and actually taking pictures of the jar of puss to share on Facebook! over-sharing personal disgusting stuff..whatever happened to privacy! Then those people who will tag everyone on their friend list a photo of their cat and the downloaded sunset photo!... We don't care!

The Click-a-holics!
•These are the people that will click on every stupid link they come accross, these links that are obviously spammy go on sending everyone porn or annoying inboxes and of course phishing happens then someone gets all busy announcing how much they have been hacked from here to Kitale. 
-Not forgetting the characters who like taking all the annoying quizzes on the internet and sharing the results- who even cares at what age you'll get married, what age you'll die, whether you'll go to heaven, whether you'll be the best husband, what will be written on your tombstone, what animal you'll be in your next life, how attractive and sexy the internet thinks you are...we actually don't care, live the moment, too much fantasy causes mental problems, take your silly quizzes quietly and don't spam our walls every thirty minutes with results. 

The Mindless Thanking Thankers!
•Those annoying people who must write on your wall! irks me! How is it even a favour when someone adds you up to a friend-list? Hey its just a Facebook list not a paradise bound travel list! Thanks for the add, thanks for the acceptance, thanks for sharing, thanks for accepting my friendship,thanks for inboxing me... yada yada yada..makes me roll my eyes on a 360degree!

P.S ...And those of you who like preaching how much you are bored online....bored people are boring. period! you be posting like; "So Bored"  "This Day Is Boring" "Facebook Is Boring" "Life Is Boring" ....well, we actually don't give a rats ass! Get a life!


Sincerely,
Njoki TheGood-BadGirl!

Online Fantasy Romance Versus Reality...

Is there anything in earth's existence that has created the acceptance of short termed relationships like social media? So short that you barely get to know his/her second name! Online networking is great, but people have abused it's easiness and its convenience. Its gotten so unreal such that its comes out all weird and creepy when someone who likes you asks for a real meet up over a cup of tea. People- the millennials, have encroached so much into "social media space" such that a 27 year old better be 'sofalizing or deskalizing' "sentiment-ing" all day long than go out there and meet his/her friends in real life, it has became all about texting and slumping all day long on smartphones.

Its even not a surprise that someone has 4,999 friends on Facebook, 10,000 followers on twitter and in real life these person has one or no friends at all. I call this living a lie since it gives you false attachments on non-existent friends. [If you want to know if your over 3ooo Facebook friends are really friends call for monetary contribution]. This false breeding of the feeling that we are "speaking" and talking" to people online has made young people unable to communicate well in a face to face situation, very few people can keep an eye contact, but the same is well kept with their phones! very few young people can construct a correct English sentence out loud, which is all broken in text with the "ow r u's and 'hae xwirry' silly lingo. No matter how many types of social media that have been created and shall be created in coming days, nothing will ever ever replace an up close, personal and candid face to face conversation between persons leave alone couples!

***It has become so difficult to get a real boy/girlfriend, i mean- the real dating and courting has been coined into an exchange of hundreths of selfies! all guys are doing nowadays is asking of your boobies pics and when the desperate for attention girl sends them, that closes their "trust" deal. They send each other nudes, the dick pics and whatnot's and that becomes a real "situation-ship" in their minds. Each create images of each other that they wish to be. The only meeting these two will have will be a sex meeting, which will be quick- unemotional-empty sex so that they can get time to check-in on Facebook and tell the "Facebook Family" where they are at which should be "in bed with my man/bae"  while others make sex tapes to post on YouTube in a stance to look for the Kim kardashian kind of fame which came from making a sex tape. After sex, the relationship goes back to facebook inbox and whatsapp, the boy never calls, the stupefied girl never asks and it carries on till one of them is bored enough to seek out another hotter prey on their friendlist,the hunt continues and it goes in a circle once again.

Its very easy to "fall in love" online, with a guy who copy pastes sweet paragraphs of poems to your inbox, this false but strong as wine connection forms and bonds very easily and it can be a real disaster when the two people decide to meet and see that they are very different versions of what they both 'envisioned' of each other. Since the large group of the millennials knows how it works, trust nowadays has become a totally different story which is marked by "don't show my nudes to anyone" kind of rubber-band promises.....which don't really last two days since when you go showing your best friend a funny pic on your phone, they scroll to the next and break your "promise" by showing the images you promised not to rat out on.

I personally find online dating as shallow, if i am to date someone i better be seeing him 4 days a week where possible and or at least talk everyday, that gives me closeness and the more i get to know someone, the more i fall for the man, i never want to 'picture' my partner, i want to see him, know him, analyze him, understand him, and not just judge him by his Facebook status and the Whats app status - this kind of relationship is chronically BORING and with very little depth! And anyone delving into it must be too desperate and surrendered to go seek and settle for a real life, fulfilling, satisfying, complete relationship that makes sense and not the too available unworthwhile apparitional "relationships".

Its actually sad for a 25y.o who hasn't dated a real person, and continues to play along with the online partners and their wicked fetishes. A good number of girls are actually happy having a boyfriend who is in 'Pluto' and promises to come "next year" to meet her, of which the next year doesn't really happen in the actual "next year", the only communication they have is Skype where the foreign guy asks her to strip dance for him and that gives them organisms and their "situation-ship" goes on till the little dazed lady realizes this was just a game, she's wasted 3years with which she could have dated a real person in her hood and gotten somewhere. Its a waste of time and emotion to invest in a online 'relationship' which only crushes you in the end when there are so may single people out here who still have their heads together!

Yeah.. yeah.. yeah... i know Technology is awesome, it makes life easier and faster and it does make people ludicrous-with high non existent expectations, lazy and crazy in everything including dating, courting and the general relationship. With technology you meet a lot of people and you are never serious with any of them since you want to try all since "supply" seems to be good enough to want to "take all" home. Online relationship make commitment look like a joke, such that you can start an intimate relationship like phone-sex and break it off tomorrow without an itch since the two individuals in such a case dont owe each othet anything since they barely know each other real names!

When a guy asks to meet a girl for an innocent date to get to know her, the chick decides the guy just wanna get laid, and since she's not sure she like's him, she declines an innocent "i just wanna meet you date", in other case the chick decides he wants to get laid and brings condoms along- which is actually a good precaution by the way... whilst when a girl innocently accepts to meet a guy from Facebook or even Twitter DM, the hungry man decides the pretty lady want some D too, and will definitely spread her legs that day/night, this is a very shallow way of seeing things- I believe in socializing, and people do not have "to be in love" or to be "infatuated" with each other to share a table for lunch or some ice-cream, to me having an open mind is meeting people for socializing purpose, you might be very surprised when your assumptions of a certain person are nullified by the evidence you see and hear for your self. 


Real life relationships do not necessarily make relationships easier, but they make them healthier and worthy by giving them a chance for commitment and openness. Staying online can very well deny you a real social life, waste your time, and frustrate your fantasies.




Sincerely, 

Njoki, TheGood-BadGirl

CHALLENGE NOT ACCEPTED!

Don't accept the "complicated-moody-guy-traits' when you don't accept the same from your friends! Let me do some "woman-plaining" here, When a nigga isn't respecting you before your first date, after your first date, after your first sex, he will NEVER CHANGE that, or better YOU WILL NEVER be able to CHANGE HIM over that matter. So when you accept bullshit from some basic lame guy who call every female a hoe and a bitch even in your presence, and just because the females can't slap the daylights out of him, you DESERVE that dipstick! Everyone loves being respected, every woman must be given her respect without begging!

•I automatically hate, bile over, unfollow and detach myself from males who feel like they are the high priests of 'hoe' branding and moral policing in these streets! Males on the blame please keep your opinions on how Kenyan women should dress for your girlfriend and wife only and leave the rest of us alone! Just because you CANT qualify to be that lady's man, just because she makes money that leaves you wondering where she gets it from, just because she wont answer your greetings - does not warrant you to go all over tainting her pretty name. Do useful stuff with yourself, like a business or something like body building, else, you should shut your gob and try harder or rather elsewhere.

•Shamelessly, some plain girls will call other better looking, better dressing, 'money making', achieved, brainier, innocent ladies "whores" just because they can't touch up to that bar-they secretly envy, i call these girls "basic chicks" who'll never see that pedestal because they 'despise' it publicly and privately boil over getting their ass on the same high table. Little girls, style up. You can't have what you speak ill off. Don't go calling others whores when you're never paid for their services or seen them or without holding believable evidence! Whatever happened to woman power!

•This is a journey as well as a game, love warmly "hearts us" and people hurt each other. When you accept bullshit from the start of it, do not expect more than that, in fact, expect less everyday because your standard so low it can't keep you warm in this may weather! Show them how you want it!

Its a requirement for every person, male and female (it should be made law!) to have a list of crap they cant stand being fed, Because of all the failed relationships, they have failed because the foundation was so poor it couldn't hold the water in the rainy days. As much as we earn respect, your stature and style of how you run your world or speak, must DEMAND that respect. 

•••Lady, no matter where you come from, don't suck up to people who don't make you feel good about about yourself and accept you. When a man makes you feel like he is  a life time challenge and its just the first two weeks of meeting him, let it stop there, challenge is for decided couples not when auditioning on who to date!

1.Please never ever remind a guy of a date he promised. if at all he was so into you, he wouldn't be freaking forgetting it!

2.Don't allow a nigga to brand you as his bitch even if he does it while kissing you hard, step out if he feels he's so nigga to stop that black Hollywood shitty lingo!

3.Don't ask a guy out, its his job in the beginning of a relationship to plan and ask you. Otherwise, you wanna propose to him also? he'll run! or disappear...

4.At the start of your intimate relationship, no matter how many zeros you have as your salary, please don't give/lend a nigga your money. It becomes a habit he wont stop. and you're not a micro-finance bank are you?

5.If you're into dating older married fellows, because that player wont marry you, milk all his money, chop it till he drops you, then go look for your agemate. In fact, make sure he's a money popper, otherwise don't be with an old and or married geezer who won't FINANCE your ass and waste your 7years! Make him pay for all your academic degrees where possible!

6.Don't date "machali wa base" who sit and 'chew' miraa outside your "gates" the whole freaking day. Even if he got sexy eyes and biceps! Forget him. Bicepts wont buy you bread! He has adapted to that style and changing that shady habit is none of your business woman! Unless thats the life you figure to have.


7.Keep off those males who are in the "i don't know if i want a relationship" zone even after dating you for eight weeks, girl, its not that they "don't want a relationship", the truth is they don't want one with you!


8.When that guy you are 'auditioning' to date starts suggesting changes that you should make to look hot like his mother, Let him go!

9. A woman must NOT live plan-less, always have a PLAN B. Lady's, always mind your own hustle, get a job or a business however small, even if its retailing those cooked smokies! just in case that guy flees you'll have something to keep your mind busy! 

10.If your five months relationship is all a Sexting relationship and seeing each other once in a blue moon to sex things up, forget it. that's some bullshit foundation!

Never expect less bullshit if you accepted and enabled any in the beginning, it doesn't work that way. It can only top up!

[Again, you don't tell a guy all this ↑ to his face, unless he insults you to your face, just watch him and when he doesn't impress you or step up to your plate, pass him over like its funny and catch the next bus! ]


P.S if the favorite question the guy you've been dating for three months now is "Are you home? I'm close by" and "We do a sleep over at your place?"....drop him like a hot potato, he's just a playin' peter pan!.....and if both of your idea of dating is meeting up at club Bettys then later in your room, girl, get serious, that's not dating, its "meeting/hooking up" you guys are just good buddies!






Cheers!
Njoki, TheGood-BadGirl!

Greedy Blood Lines

Relationships form our societies, some shallow ones perceive relationships as only the sexual relations, But relationships live with us, have been with us and relations and relationships wont go anywhere anytime soon. Though nowadays the real relationships have been replaced by "Sofalizing" instead of socializing in real which is a breakdown in formation of relationships.

One Important relationship is Family. Family is core to human development, and a proper level family at that. Your family, talking of the nuclear family can be your downfall, or your rise. Parents and siblings can ride you down to the lanes of heaps of embarrassments and poverty if you just allow it and when you are too good to them. As i always insist, any good stuff without limits will kill you just like the bad stuff will. There must be some certain discipline and boundaries we must keep as grownups for people [family and friends] to know where not to step or contribute with those unwarranted opinions and control. Blood relations are not always as thick as we perceive, family can exploit you with stress and pressure till you've nothing left for them to devour.

We all have lazy or 'not so lucky' friends who expect that just because we are doing a staircase or two better than then in life, they shall live off us, and when you don't contribute to their usual cry frequently, they get all moody on you as if they are your teenage children. And actually if you are such a friend, shame on your ass. Go get your money and stop mooching on your friends, this earth owes you nothing at all after 18, In fact your own parents do you a very huge favor by taking care of you even when you are a good 25yea old.

I have met such friends who expect you to mother them just because you have a job and they don't. They make this expectation an obligation!~ and its so annoying, one such character who used to "ask" for airtime frequently just because i then worked in some bank...thought i earned the whole Barclays profit, i used to be too nice, and people took advantage of my sugar and spice... when i had had enough i just let her know to her face, she got so mad that she 'unfriended" me in all social media, which in return i blocked since anyway, who needs suckers like that?! With such characters as your friends, you never develop, the still broke, the still looking, the still trying with evidently no trying is happening. And with these kind of people around you, you are not helping them by giving them frequent and fat 'handouts' you are enabling them! Friends can be locked out and nearly forgotten when they get annoying and too demanding. 

When your friends become your energy and blood vampires dump them like you're late! Family is yet another big bite. Family members can crush you and actually kill you for your own sweat! When your four jobless alcoholic brothers demand you pay their kids school fees, pay their rent, and cloth them , while your eight sisters where 6 of them have children at home and very jobless and not even trying, expect the same thing, you can die at an early age.

Take a closer look at our African football star Adebayor. Look at the shameful turmoil that his family has been putting him through! These are the perfect examples of family members that crucify you when you are still breathing, they crucify you just because you are doing great , because you share a blood line and a last name. They feel you owe them every dime you make and you must pay them for being their family member! Seriously Africans? If Adebayor's siblings will find their way to this article, SHAME ON YOU for wringing and sucking the energy out of your own brother! God is watching you closely ooh!

Now on, Adebayor should just grow a spine and say how things must operate, not just sitting pretty and letting his lazy and opportunistic siblings get away with it! If he must, he should give all equal 'maintenance' if only quarterly as a gift not some big time commitment! The only 'commitment' of a monthly maintenance would be toward his rather ungrateful conniving mother! The rest of them can actually go to hell, especially those that he opened businesses for, gave huge amounts of cash and five years later, they have nothing to show of it! Otherwise after his short football career comes to an end, he will be as broke as if he never worked at all in his entire life.


When you are the provider, you have to set boundaries and let things run on your terms and not let relatives step allover you and blackmail you over your hard earned money. I am not saying you should let your family members sleep hungry, but have a level understanding on how things must run on your ruling as the sole provider, and the sibling who feels its too much can go hustle upwards too. Its such a shame that our very own siblings can sit their black ass down and demand you help them all through their life just because you got luckier! 

People will test your boundaries slowly by slowly, just to see up to where they can nail you to their cross, and it goes up and in as much as you let it happen. [even toddlers do that] So, Toughen up!

Believe me , people got nerves! 

The point is, in Family & Business Relationships, being too good, might - will eventually screw you over!



Sincerely,
Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl