Pick One, Values Or Sexual Attractiveness?

"Personal values are people's internal conception of what is good, beneficial, important, useful, beautiful, desirable, constructive, etc..."

"Sexual attractiveness or sex appeal is an individual's ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person"

Many have, and I have loved someone who doesn't share my values and family setting believes few years back and I came into conclusions that shared values are way better than shared "interests" [which can be acted]  and physical attractiveness the Tall Dark & Handsome [but chronically boring and unintelligent] that I've unrepentant had, up to now we do not agree on almost everything with this person even though we are "okay" friends who cannot live in the same house because one of us will get bored and the other annoyed. I mostly get both the annoyed and bored to tears as am the one who has to keep the fire burning, I'm overly energetic and talkative. I don't think we both took enough time to learn each others core values or even took it seriously and I mostly thought its something I could change overtime, I only got exhausted! That taught me that we should look to have life partners who share our kind of values, interests and believes. 

People have gone ahead and married partners that are not of the same religion and principles thinking that with time one of them might change and or, they can uphold both religious faiths without any problem, some work in very rare cases but majority proves as not workable after a couple of years alongside arguments because Values are permanent like behaviors and they do not just change.

An attempt to change a grown up behavior is troublesome and opens up room for a very huge disappointment. Which makes me believe that instead of killing yourself with the job of changing someone's believes, beliefs, behaviors and line of thoughts, why not just be in relationship with people who already possess what you desire. Change is work and it does not just happen because you are crying and praying for it, and unless its your change, you shouldn't hope to see it realize.

Main Values & Believe differences that cause conflicts in our relationships

Sexual Values. 

Your sexual value is your personal beliefs, attitudes or feelings about sex and sexuality. Sex is a major part of relationship, that I cannot start imagining how it can work when you have different believes and values in it, like in the commitment part of it all. One person might strictly believe that they cannot do with just a single partner, another may believe in orgies, another in partner swinging, another in oral sex, anal sex, while you might well disagree with everything which will be the cause of a pitfall in your relationship, and to avoid such a calamity why not just find out about these kind of believes and values before getting deep into a serious relationship. I take sex seriously and I do my best to find out what someone am interested in and is interested in me thinks around it because am not ready to do things outside my ethics in the name of sex.

Religion.

Attempting to convert someone with different religious views even among mere friends create bitterness since one person will feel that their side of believes is being undermined. Just think about a few questions like; how will you handle parenting when it comes to it, what side will your kids follow? No religion is entirely the heaven ticketing one, but same spiritual dimensions play a major part on our growth in relationships.

Money/Financial Values.

Money does not buy sincere love partners , although it does bring them violently apart. Money is an area that causes a lot of fights in relationships, both the old and young relationships suffer because of money conflicts. You might come along a shopaholic who cannot help with impulse buying, you are deemed to suffer if this money being used extravagantly is under your name. When your partner thinks buying a home is not important and rather feels that buying himself a luxury car is, you are set to really fight and probably lose in this argument. Not seeing things from the same lens can brew lots of trouble.

Honesty/Loyalty/Trust/Fidelity Values.

People have different levels moral believes and some got none, some have very high honesty and loyalty levels, many others people do not think or feel that its important to uphold integrity or honesty in relationships today, when you have to deal with such a person as a high believer in the moral ladder, you are doomed to be undernourished in this kind of relationship. 

Children.

Some people value their freedom more when it comes to having children. I have seen women who have accepted to get into serious relationships with men who told them they do not want children from the word go, but the women secretly held it on imagining they can change a man's mind about the matter as they go. Which doesn't exactly happen. Just the other day there was such a story on the papers and the man in question made the woman have 'an unconscious' abortion every time she got pregnant. Why sign up for such BS when you an have a man who wants a family? 

*** ***     

When you have major differences in major values and believes in your relationship, you are bound to fail. If you are not ready for frequent quarrels, being yelled at, getting the silent treatment when you are right, being told that you are acting stupid and talking stupid or being miss/Mr smartypants, acting dumb and acting bossy when from your end you are merely trying to get things in order using your personal values, then look at your value checklist. 

In retrospect, I know its very important for people to have the same ethics and believes, young people shouldn't bother with individuals they hope to change when they marry them, people are very independent nowadays as they are dramatic and crazy, you should not buy the imagined or promised 'potential' but what is. Otherwise, you'll end up wasting so much time like I did. 

Sexual attractiveness will not make sense when your values and the other persons values are not agreeing at the least. Sexual attractiveness dies a slow death, you never have a good time unless you are engaging sexually. This is why one partner will cheat with someone uglier than you and you are left there wondering why. Alignment as communication, is key.

Standardization of believes and values bring much more respect and happiness in relationships than having to prepare yourself for the tedious work of having to change someone overtime at the expense of your happiness and peace, since big differences in values may mean big differences in dreams and ambitions. 

...Imagine you are a quiet person, you think well in the calm of total tranquility and silence, then you get a loudmouth for a partner who wont stop talking and yelling, who won't understand the importance of quiet repose, when all you seek is peace that comes from within...I cant.

For a healthy relationship, you will need to find someone with whom you're fully compatible, someone with the same baseline as you.

Your Friend.
©NjokiTheGoodBadGirl™2015 

The Season Of Lights & The Evil Within...

When I wrote about the evils of the season on my Facebook page, some asked how real it is others asking to know more and I thought to expound here on the much I know. I am a very inquisitive person and I ask questions about what is going on and more on things I do not understand. I also read a lot of materials, the true and the untrue since I know that I cannot criticize or write about stuff I do not know about of their negative and positives.

Below is a post I made on my Facebook.

"Young Men & women, do not be amazed by what you see or who you meet, neither who gives you a ring and a necklace...Satan knows your weakness & will test you. If you're a slave to money, sex, clubbing, parties he will use that against you. 
Men, do not let your mind be blown away by Females who you thought you can't get a chance with coming onto you suddenly, in Double Teams.
Satan is real, so is the Holy Trinity. It has happened, it will this season and the following. Its the season for satan and agents to deceive, entertain you & destroy you. Its sacrifice time, Its blood&souls Harvest time, when many fatal road accidents happen with 'clean' scenes, time we have careless sex, we accept strange body marks, we abort, we try new drugs. This is the time We've got to Reflect, Chill and Pray for protection.
This is the season we girls are invited to house & pool parties by a friend who knows a friend who was invited, we're invited to sex orgies in the name of sexual freedom & fun, then we are drugged, body fluids collected and or raped, some impregnated & trapped into evil-dark calamities without their knowledge. We're invited to 'Keshas' at some new church... After all this initiation-looking fun ordeal, you get one problem after another, after another. 
Men, Beware...evil women will double team you, and convince you into a threesome. They will collect your resultant fluids by hand, mouth, condoms or either their sin hole to use, rule and control you; have you eating from their palms. 
No one really 'worships' satan by accident, God gave us a conscience to help us choose. Don't enter into spiritual bondage in the name of Christmas fun"

...Check yo' self!
Your Friend,

-NjokiGoodBadGirl.

...Why do you think satanist and cultists are able to deceive Christians so easily? Its because they read the bible word by word, they change it and bend it just to suit their own beliefs. Imagine if you read the bible to gain information to help yourself... how powerful do you think it would be for you? I think God's speed! 

When we get in 'negative energy' problems, its because we have let them in, knowingly and unknowingly. Some people have been affected by evils spirits they do not understand for ages! and without knowing people knowing they can be prayed for by an exorcist to deliver them, some have lived in this bondage to the end of their days.

      By which doors do we welcome negative energy/spirits?

•By using the good luck charms from seers and tarot card readers

 These are places we are taken by our friends, and this is a door we open for the negative spirits to get in. Once we let astrologers touch us and charge us with their negative spirits, we leave that door open for more of their negative spirits to come in!

•By watching pornography & addictions

 Pornography watchers are addicted to such a wicked evils, such that it only fulfills them for a few seconds and leave them with a lifetime of regret, guilt and embarrassment. So does alcoholism and other substance abuse. When you see an abuser rape and kill his children, a bad spirit is reigning in and over them. Alcohol does not erase our stresses, it only adds on them.

•By bringing home an idol that you bow to;

We are told that certain statues are of Jesus's and we buy them and take them to our homes and start praying to them, this does not please God at all. we are warned against making/bowing to graven images. I have ever bought a picture of 'jesus' and I could feel like this 'jesus' is watching me, I also felt like I should pray looking at him, which made me get rid of it eventually.

•Haunted house/keeping haunted items

Maybe you bought a bed from the auction center, who knows, maybe the bed was owned by a witch or an occult member... and maybe the last owner of the home you've moved into was into occult and had left strange items stuffed in the ceiling or even other areas. The spirits the past tenant left will affect you whether you know it or not! 

•By playing weird games

Kenyans will copy anything they see on the international media, from playing Ouija boards to seeking out mediums so that they can speak to the dead. There is a Tv show that a medium tells the audience what their dead relatives are communicating. God warns us against consulting mediums, look for the story of King Saul and the medium, read it and get the message straight. Even horror films about Ouija boards have been made. Beware and distance yourself.

•By allowing body drawings 

We see young people everyday accept body drawings on their bodies, with signs and symbols that they have no idea what they really mean. You could engrave yourself with occultist symbols. 

•By opening your so called third eye/Kundalini & Practising lucid dreaming using yoga techniques 

Kenyans are very good at copying, now everyone in the city is into yoga! then in thing, people want to get in touch with their inner selves. They want to open their third eyes, ignorant how dangerous it gets to open up the spirit world eventually. Again I insist open your mind and read about things before doing them, if only just to know what to expect. Google is here so that you don't have to make a trip to the library. Look up what Kundalini is.  

•Via Visiting witches/wizards,

 Even if its your parents who visited; the minute you or your parents visit witch doctors, it follows you till you denounce it. Satan does not truly heal you, he will heal you physically yes, but will not let you know the ultimate PRICE. Do not let people experiment hypnosis with you! These evil people deal with spiritual worlds and you better keep away. 

•Via Taking oaths and vows

Young people believe they're the first ones to fall in love. You see 18 year old's taking blood oaths promising each other an everlasting love ! This is utter foolishness! as I wrote on my previous article, the feelings you have when you are 18 will not be the same when you are 27! Do not cut  a finger and lick each others blood making blood covenants that  I am 100% sure you will not fulfill! Its evil! the bible wars us against such behaviors! As proverbs 21:23 say " Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles" Don't do stupid things in the name of love. They will follow you since you will forget and go away from your promise!

•Via Jewelry 

You will go market places and buy jewelry, especially the secondhand which I advice against. If anything, buy new things, used stuff is not always innocent since you never know who associated with them. Okay, you can buy and cleanse by prayer, but why take chances!

•By letting strange people pray by laying hands on you.

Do not let referrals come and put their hands on you ooh! beware! not all hands are of God! not everyone is sent by God. Do not let every tom dick and harry pray for you! I know that concerned friends will tell us about great prayer warriors that can pray for us to get jobs, but be cautious, you might sign up to something that will affect your whole life even with that job you really wanted to get.

•Sex

Sex creates soul ties, when the bible told us that marriage unites two people into one body, it meant that their souls become one. Most of us have fornicated several times and we are simply lucky if we are still operating well. When we go having careless sex, we might sleep with people who carry bad spirits, even without their knowledge and when we decide to get married issues arise as payback for our bad behaviors.


Please fellow young people, stop involving yourselves in things you DO NOT understand, do not experiment with your spirit and bodies, no matter who tempts you, getting in is easy as ABC, but getting out is total trouble.


...You don't have to believe me, you cant just make this kinda stuff up, look around, most of all, read for your self and seek information from your local priest.


2 Cor 11:14 "And no wonder! for Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light!" 

1 John 4:1 "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world."


1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."


Someone may ask, how about myself...well, I know I am vulnerable, that's the reason you will never find me in some places, am not special, I get nightmares, I get sleep paralysis sometimes, like everyone else, BUT most of all I PRAY for protection. No One is special, Christian or Not, the devil makes his attempts anyway.

Let me tell you, These evil spirits come to our lives the moment we are suffering and very desperate. They take that chance because they know that the chances of us fighting off the temptations are pretty low. 


Most people do not even know what they are getting into, they only wonder why they are so deep in the abyss of spiritual problems that they are unable to get out of. 


Beware or Be Square!


Blessings,

©Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl™2015

Why Did She Cheat? - for guys

Morality is corrupted within relationships in Kenya and over.

A brokenhearted guy wrote in and asked me to help him understand why his girlfriend cheated on him when he has been a good boyfriend for six years. Well, this is not new, people cheat all the time.

Women also cheat just like men do, its just that women hide it a bit better and getting caught becomes distant. The belief that women in committed unions can't cheat because of 'limited attention', bad sex and even because of the need of 'extra sex' is inexact. Males and females have equal sexual and sensual needs, and since men cheat for adventure or dissatisfying sex, women do the exact same.

REASONS WHY YOUR WOMAN IS CHEATING ON YOU

She just wanted your money.

Sometimes a woman will start a relationship with a rich-ass guy so that she can get her hands on his money and not because she is in love or truly interested in any other thing but the cash. When the cash diminishes, she's gone too, or even if the cash is still flowing, the girl will have a side guy that she loves, has a good time and sleeps with while you are there imagining your money has her all hooked. Money can't change a calculated cheater.

You are no longer nice to her.

Men say that women relax after marriage all the time, or even after getting the official girlfriend status. Men do the same thing, a guys takes a huge chill pill that he no longer brushes his teach, he throws socks everywhere, gets boring and gets verbally disrespectful. Men cease to be as nice as they were in the beginning. Guys, please realize that, there's always another guy over your head waiting for you to fail so that he can take over.

You got lots of stupid baggage!

You are that guy that has seven baby mommy's that want to kill you, someone in the estate who wants to kill you because they suspect that you're a nightly armed robber. Some upright intelligent women will not want to deal with this kind of baggage. Even if you have a baby mommy, take control of your life, provide for the kids and ensure your life doesn't cause the current woman's life with your annoying drama! No smart woman want the baby momma yelling at her front door or even at a party, just because a nigger cannot take care of his mess! If she can't deal, she walks out, and you're left there thinking she cheated, no, she moved on without letting you know.

You've got the "am not ready vibe"

Some players announce that they are not ready for serious relationship from day one. Which is a good thing because it makes a woman like me know that i wasted an hour being nice...but some lame niggers will promise to 'get ready as you go' [ women don't fall for a promise] ...A woman who knows what she wants from a relationship, will not stick around for a guy who doesn't know what he wants, these lame ass guys who will want girlfriend privileges without giving boyfriend privileges. A smart woman moves on to a serious man who wants to create a future.

You don't acknowledge her existence by introductions

You take your girl so casually that you tell your friends that she is just a close friend when she really is in love with you, a serious woman will grab a chance to be with another serious man who will value her and her time, while you hang there and think she will stick around for with your BS.

You don't gift her-we've got a thing with gifts

You've been dating since 1927 and you've never bothered to buy a 500/= worth of a wrist watch or even a scarf, dude any woman will walk out on your selfish and stingy ass. We as women feel treasured and loved when we are gifted, we take these gifts [not your money] very seriously! That's why a woman will move on to a guy who takes her out and gets her gifts, because we like gifting back as much as we are gifted. Who wants to create a life with a stingy man who will not buy a gift for his first born child?... it starts from dating.

You starved her off for affection

You no-longer kiss or hold her spontaneously as you did before. You never call her sweet names like you did before, this makes her feel left out and forgotten. Guys, you should know that with women, all women, the thick, the slim, the fat, the ugly, with ALL of them, there is always another man on the waiting room. If you don't step up. there's always a plan B waiting for us to step out of the rocky boat. We love passionate people. we love being treated as important, and we love it when our affection being duly reciprocated.

You treat her like she is stupid

Some men who think are smart treat all women inconsiderable and base like children. Smart women do not take being treated as if dumb lightly. If you want to deal with dumb-ass women, date a real dumb ass woman and not try to serve an intelligent woman like a small child. Like when you lie through your teeth right on to woman's face like she cannot decipher a thing.

She got bored!

When you've been dating her from class six back in primary school, through high-school and while you're both in different colleges, and you still feel you'll be on the same page after all these years, oh boy! tastes change, a woman learns existence of other than the usual you males out there, she likes them and desires a taste of the outside world. So by the time you both get jobs and you want to settle, she settles with you out of pity that you've stuck around for so long. She gets bored and seeks adventures through cheating. A woman may not like a certain quality like she did back in high-school, a man may not like your new character either. Always keenly re-evaluate such lengthy relationships as they lead to huge disappointments as people grow change overtime. 

She doesn't like you anymore and wants to break up

When you have bullshitted a woman for three long years, and she forgave you all that time and you will not bother to change your bad behavior, it comes to a time that a woman cheats so that she can step out of the relationship which has already bored her to tears. She cheats , and makes sure you get to know so that she can get rid of you in the most hurtful way.

She thinks you are cheating too

Cheaters are always paranoid that they are being cheated on. A cheating woman will cheat on you because she thinks you've been cheating too just because you got real quiet when you came come all stressed and did not want to talk much, have dinner or even make love. [which she interpreted as sexual activity exhaustion]. Cheaters get jealous and insecure that you may be cheating, and that alone drives them to cheat counting it as payback.

Last but not least, your woman is just adDICKted! and must have three different Johns at a go its in her and there's nothing you or the cathedral exorcist can do, she is just doomed into slut-dom and that's it.

Guys, if she cheats, maybe its your fault or maybe its her hobby.

Your Girl,

©Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl™2015

Polygamy Is Legal Alright, But Can You Afford It?

Polygamy throughout history was not for the poor fellas. Lanes must be observed. If you are poor and try get two women in your home, you'll die from broke arguments from your wives because of your 'broke-ness'! 

Polygamy and Polyandry are not really sins, its okay for men to marry the number of women they prefer, but can these men take care of all these women and ensure they are all recognized by his family? This rarely happens since people are so phony nowadays and would rather hide their mischievous and careless sexual relations under the guise of being in 'open relationships/marriages' that have no commitment or responsibility, which allows individuals to sleep around as much as they choose to without the other party having the right to complain.

Polygamy is one man marrying several women as wives. That sounds great to the men, till you mention Polyandry which is a woman having more than one man. I do not think there's any man worth his ego who can allow the woman sleep with another man apart from himself. In South Africa, polygamy is legal, polyandry is illegal... huh!

Men were very happy when polygamy without wife's consent was discussed and successfully passed as a valid law just the other day in Kenya. But am yet to see a man on the altar marry four wives at a go. Men marry the second woman or rather 'keep' the other woman when the first one gets, old and boring, and even as soon as he is no longer excited by her presence.

Polygamy worked in the years before the 90's, it worked fine to some point and where it is being practiced today, the women involved are not a happy lot. Men practiced polygamy when and because they had lots of property to show their capability to take care of four women together with their tens of children! 

Today, men are talking about going polygamy as a route to drive their unending lust or dissatisfaction in their self selected marriage partners! if at all its about polygamy, we would be seeing polygamous marriages happen every Saturday! and all the three women well maintained. In rare cases, men are practicing 'silent polygamy' whereby men marry one woman, he gets bored after a year or two and marries another mostly under customary laws, some of these fellas at the least are responsible for the women they are marrying and leaving plus their kids, but the bitter pill falls on the women who are left behind to take care of children with 'no one to love them' or satisfy their sexual needs when these men move on with their lives by marrying other women!

Men, if you have not even constructed a nice house for your momma, and your legal wife whom you keep in the noisy city rentals, how will you fund your second and third women when you marry them? Ask yourself, do you have enough property or even true love or do you just want to taste different women 'legally' and brag about it? Women who are fixed in polygamous family acting happy are just pretenders, no woman is honestly happy to be placed number two, or to be overstepped by a new comer. 

If anything, it is more beneficial for a woman to have 'multiple husbands' - polyandry, which results to few children and more men contributing. Polygamy for women is not beneficial at all because its multiple wives, never ending children and one man contributing to all women, which puts the man in a tight position.

If a wife gets physically disabled for some reason, or even when terminal diseases occur, it would be fine and fair to allow the husband to get another woman who will know she is second and will respect the first wife, to fulfill his needs at home. It would be very selfish and hypocritical to deny a man to marry another woman when you cannot give him what you were giving him before whatever the mishap happened.  

Truth is, we are ALL getting selfish, jealous and needy creatures in some ways and degrees as the time goes, there will be, there has been, death threats, murders, chronic stalking in the face of  legal and illegal Polygamy and Polyandry practiced in this time and age.

In any case, having four legal wives cannot prevent a philandering husband to cheat on his forty wives and bring them disease which will conveniently spread in all of them. Greed has no end, its on going, besides when a male cannot control his own needs, he ceases to be a Man.

Fairness is; if you are not okay with your lady having an extra man to satisfy her extra sexual escapades, well, have your polygamous family in your dreams. If women are greedy for wanting two men with different physiques and sexual heights, then a man is greedy too for wanting more than one woman to satisfy his sexual needs. 

Bottom-line is; Its Not Really About Polygamy Today, Its All Lust And Sexual Greed.

FYI , Love is very very conditional. whoever said its not, lied!

Yours Truly,
©Njoki-GoodBadGirl™2015

Those Skinny Beliefs, The Skinny Shaming & Prejudice

Lean, Slender,Skinny Women get bullied too and get called names from Skeleton, Sickly, Anorexic, Bulemic, to skinny bitches, to plain bones, to unreal woman, what makes this fact stay low is because we [the little tall lean people] actually don't give a flying Eff about it, at least not publicly like the other women do! We get bullied by the bigger women type who feel bad about themselves and men who cannot have our bony ass in their hands.

People who feel too great outside but insecure internally, call lean women or slim women 'skinny bitches' all the time and no one calls that Bullying. The other group of women who are not exactly 'slender' think that the slender women have it all smooth, but am here to tell you as a slim lady, we get our own share of bullying. You've heard Kingangi & Maina on Classic Radio say skinny women are plain trouble makers which is not true!

Let me set this straight, I am a small woman which is UK size is 6 and US size 2. Where the inches for Bust Waist & Hips are 31/30, 24/25, 34/35 respectively, and I and my many skinny buddies have no apologies to make for this awesome size. People on the other side, we too, get insulted, laughed at and pointed at, by those who do not agree with our 'american bodies' and mark you, we got emotions, we feel it, but we move on and concentrate only with people who appreciate us! 

Its so unfair that Its been made a crime to call the big women 'fat' and very okay to brand the small ones 'Skinny Bitch' and ask them to go eat a hot dog!

Me and my fellow tiny women whose fat has blatantly refused to settle on our bodies, swore not to 'synthetically' add weight for anyone or anything, we are okay as we are, we find love, get the hate, we overeat and bloat like anyone else. Some people treat us like children and think they can use our bodies for experiments. Me and my 'skinny' women guild, will not inject fat on our ass or boobs or even belly to satisfy your evil ego! So if you don't like it skinny, look elsewhere, we have the variety. 

Skinny&Comfortable

Let Me Break The Myths Surrounding 'Skinny' Women....

Skinny Women Are Little Bitter 'Bitches'

This is a myth and very untrue, and utterly wrong to assume or refer to someone. I have been called that ugly word by people who do not know me at all just because I did not answer to the 'cat call'...but who cares its not a must for me or you to answer to every greeting from every dirty mouthed Tom, Dick & Harry. Anyone can 'act a bitch' including a beggar, I'm sure in this city a beggar or two has insulted you for giving him a coin. People all over say that skinny women have it easy, no we don't. Life is hard for us too, we are not bitter, we are busy hustling and therefore no nonsense!

Skinny Women Are Trouble Makers

Skinny women are not trouble makers. This is just an ill meant assumption. I know fellow small women that are very good ladies to talk to and hang out with. I know of other curvy women who are great trouble makers, trouble making doesn't come with body size! in any case slender people are the best party people, we are the life at your party, learn to appreciate us please...although, we are not begging! We do not like taken for granted and if you try we shall cause drama in your life, our revenge is instant. We don't necessarily hold grudges around. 

Skinny Women Do Not Eat

We friggin' do eat! A lot! I eat all the time! ask my mother! I go to her house and all I do is eat. My grandma' also always complains that I don't eat whenever she sees me and warns me that I'll die of starvation...LOL!. She asks me to quit modelling if its the one making me not eat and on the contrary, I eat till I cannot eat anymore. This is just another lame assumption. We have a fast metabolism and out fat burns quickly and we are also very active because we want to wear our six inch shoes til we are forty five like Jeniffer Lopez... I in particular do squats every say at least 70-100 of them, not to burn fat, but to keep fit. Plus... I am very healthy, I have donated blood, 'carried' an 80Kg 'beast' and popped a healthy 4 kg baby boy with my little body, so please! keep your nasty away!

Skinny Women Are Promiscuous 

Nope! Everyone and anyone, men and women, young and old, priests and pastors, can be promiscuous! This is not based on weight ranges. Even overweight people can over-love sex and go humping on everything. Old women and men do this all the time. This myth is just a myth to make slim women look evil and full of disease...and anyway, who doesn't love sex? just because a tiny teeny lady refused to sleep with you, you don't have the right to spread that gossip! 

Skinny Women Are Lazy

This is just another hater myth! skinny women are not lazy! I wake up at 5 to prepare for work and so does everyone else! and when am not going to work I wake up to read a book, not for exams but just for my own entertainment! many skinny women are very successful out here, just look around and see from the pretty Beatrice Marshall, Tegla Lorupe, Princess Diana, To Naomi Campbell, to Tyra, to Christine Lagarde MD of the International Monetary Fund. Anyone with any body size has the potential to be lazy or otherwise! including the big ones! So Please!


Skinny Women Are Arrogant

Very untrue! we are the best people to converse with. We make friends easily. We are friendly and we are very confident, we put it on your face so that you do not get a chance to put us and our little bodies down! Its our defense mechanism, so if you think that is arrogant, great! No one can put you down when you have your confidence on your sleeve. No One! Love yourself and let them talk! You teach people how to treat you! 


Skinny Women Are Weak

Yeah right! you'll say skinny women are weak until one gives you a good cat fight or a good bitch slap. I warned you!  I know of skinnier women who have gone through hours of labour pains and popped a 4.1 kg baby out! So y'all should shut the heck up on this kind of hate! All women are strong!


Skinny Women Love & Prefer Only Foreigners

Arrggggh! This is a lie, here I am, I love local guys! When me and my kind goes to the 'Wazungus' its because y'all pushing us there since you insist we are made for the white boys! again, why the heck would I let some white love who is treating me like a queen, respecting me and pampering me, pass me by? again, if a black kenyan guy gives me the same, i'll take it wholeheartedly!


Skinny Women Are Daft & Not Real Women

This is a hater comment. I have seen skinny women who are very intelligent! and have worked their way up the ladder and not slept with the boss to achieve it! People go ahead and say skinny women are not 'real women' or rather 'real African women'. The solution is; you don't have to comment on how skinny and fake the skinny one is when you can choose a fat and curvy one any day, or do you?


Skinny Women Like It In The Ass

Who came up with this kind of nonsense! we love and honor or little bodies and we don't allow the Tom, Dick & Harry gang members to do whatever they like with us and in us! We respect our selves way too much, thats why they will say we are arrogant! Every one, big & small make their own choices on what they like and dislike, this is not based on sizes! so give skinny women a darn break!


Skinny Women Are 'Players' & Cannot Be Trusted

Nope. We are not. We are the most trustworthy people. This statement is made by insecure individuals who think they can mistreat you and get away with it. When you treat us bad, we don't stay to put up with the bullshit, we cry for the night and we move on from your crap real quick without wasting minutes!

You Need To Be Skinny To Be Beautiful

Not Really! this is another TV misinformation, I have seen very beautiful curvy women in this city. The curvy, thick women are just as beautiful as the skinny ladies out here, and in the end only a personality matters in every angle of it! 

•We come in different sizes, lets be comfortable with it and appreciate individuality! Variety is the spice of life! and in anycase, you do not have to put other people down so you can put your selfish ass on the pedestal, cuz that's what people do! including fellow women! you can now sit yo' ass down, this is not a competition, we are just living life!

We come in different sizes, the fat is not the same as curvy and skinny is not the same as anorexic! we are all women and whoever is not satisfied with their size can change it by adding weight or reducing it with whichever method. But I and I and I, categorically refuse to try to fit in what others feel I could look better in, so should you...lets cut the bullshit, its not productive!  FYI, gaining weight is as hard as losing it!

Men, instead of asking your skinny woman to add weight so that she can be more attractive to you, how about you get yourself a woman who already has the weight, who won't need adding?! 

Let me rub it on you, in this world, you just CANNOT WIN! 
When you are big/fat, they say you are a disgusting pig who loves to eat everything and anything!
When you are skinny, they say you are a skeleton and not a real woman and you're allergic to food!
When you are shy they say you are ugly, a pretender, stupid, without self confidence and no one wants to hang out with you!
When you are going places genuinely, they'll say you're a slut sleeping en-route the top...
When you choose to stay single, they'll say no one likes you..When you choose not to have kids, they'll call you barren...So since no one can really entirely win, why don't we just accept ourselves and move on to issues that matter?!

Your Skinny Friend,

©Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl™2015

Sending The Risqué & The Nude Details...

Ladies, do not be flattered when a some boy asks you for nude pictures. Yes he is a boy, because a real man will impress you, respect you, date you, get you, then get the real thing with his damn naked eye! 

Guys, I find it very ambitious for you to ask nudes from a girl you've never actually seen or been in bed with! Just because you send your dick pic doesn't mean you get your unwarranted favor paid back!

Its very silly to send nudes to persons you've just met online! Its never cool cuz most online people are just frauds! with fake pictures, fake profile information. Unless you REALLY REALLY REALLY trust this person [which you shouldn't] refrain from sending your nudes, especially you girls! This raunchy detail will be used against you in a near future! The piece of idiocy acts as circumstantial evidence of your denseness. I know i know...the brief and the classic feelings of horniness might cheat you into feeling its cool to send your nudies, but remember hormones lie all the time! 

In and outside Kenya, haven't we heard of enough girls falling into depression and committing suicide because their trusted "online boyfriends" or even their real boyfriend decided or threatened to leak their nude photos or videos they once allowed recording?! aren't we seeing good relationships getting damaged because of leaked sex videos and nooky photos people took when they thought they were all sexy and clever at 21! Note mentally; Men usually don't commit suicide over such since they never send dick pics with their face on them. I have received these gross photos from online strangers, a guy friend from England sent me a video of himself fapping away for a whole 7 minute on Whats-app, and that was the death of our friendship cuz i wondered, what was it supposed to do for me? arouse me? make me think he is awesome? I did not see the whole point.

Ladies specially, am talking to you here,  and your pastor! The internet is now 4G here and its too fast for you to take back what you clicked the send button on! If you want to see your self naked, take photo and admire yourself, but sharing them is another level for fishing for lame compliments.



I still believe there are those desperate for attention kind of people who wont hear this and shall still send their nudes on whats-app, on Emails on Twitter DM, of Facebook inbox all in the race to "being liked" by the boy. Remember, where you feel pressured to do a certain thing, its never a good thing to do it in the end. Trust your gut. 

  Rules Of Sending Nudes

Do not be flattered when a some boy asks you for nude pictures. Ladies have been lead to believe that they must do everything a man asks so that they can get into a man's good books. note that once these risque photos are out of your hands, you should remember you have no control over them anymore! they can get to your boss, your friends, your enemies, your parents! and  you do not want to deal with this kind of stress

Well, if you feel that desperate neediness to send pictures of your boobs, your ass or other bushy or clean shaven areas, there are some safety rules you need to observe! 

1st Critically think if this is necessary cuz your mama might see it one day on Whats-app. You cannot trust people, the person you are sending to will want to show their friend, and their friend will want to show their friends too.

2nd! You really don't have to struggle for poses to take nudes, go online search for photos  a woman who has a body like yours and send it to him!

3rd! If you really want to send, then Do NOT! send nude that has your freakin' face on it! Crop that shit out! its 'smarter' that way. Only stupid people send nudes with their faces on.

4th! When he asks you for a picture of your pussy, get a photo of a damned hairless cat online and send him! ...I don't know about you, but I feel utterly disrespected when a guy seriously asks me for nudes and gets all crazy when I don't! smh! in my head i be like....Boy go jump in the lake! 

5th! If you want to get famous like Kim Kardashian, send nudes with your face on them and sex videos where your face is visible as well, and remember your mama will get to see them too. Sex sells if its the route you want to take, go ahead .

6th! Do not do things under pressure, from the guys or just because your friends told you its cool, check with your gut, your moral standing first. 

Young people nowadays, especially in their teens and twenties we fail to realize that every shameless and roguish thing done now, will have dire consequences after the frontal lobe fully develops, after they get into church worship team, after they get into corporate spaces.

Women are doing needless stuff just to be in a freaking relationship which is never a healthy relationship anyway! If a guy 'rejects' you or breaks up with you for not sending him your tits & pussy pictures, move it! you do not lose a stray dog.

Bottom line is you don't have to keep up with anybody's demands,.

Do you realize that most leaked racy photos are those of women, the unwarranted penis photos men send don't get leaked, be wise!

Am Out!

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2015

Know When You Are On The "Sex-Zone"

Being put in the Sex Zone by a man hurts more than the Friendzone, it is more devaluing when you're only zoned as good for sex in the dark by someone you actually have feelings for.

Every guy wants and loves sex just as we do. The difference is whether someone really wants you as a whole as well. The good thing is, most of these guys are so lame such that you'll know when they just want to "sex zone" trap you, to place you on the booty-call list, you only need to pay attention.

You'll know by how a man treats you and talks to you if he is just looking to get laid. While you're accepting this deal, be aware that you cannot have sex with a man enough to make him eventually like you or marry you. A man will take advantage of this door - even when he is in 3 other relationships, until YOU get a brain to cut him off.

How Will You Identify Men Who Want To Waste You?

He will sleep with you but Doesn't Want A Relationship.

This type of will want wife privileges from you but will not want to take you out on a proper date or want to get to know you. This type of man will always have the audacity to ask you to meet up, just to tell you that he is not looking for a relationship at the moment, when at the same time he is reaching for your crotch?! Girl! Always leave.

You met last night but he's already "In love"

This type of man love bombs you just want to get into your deep emotional side and soften you up, get you wet, sex you up then run for the hills!  If you're not the type , run.

He Always Texts Sex, Chats Sex, Calls Sex.

He always talks about sex, which positions he intends to use on you yada...yada..yada...You will think he is a sex god. he is not interested in anything else not even your second name. When these guys show you their true colors the first time, please believe them! they are only being honest!

He Will Never Take You Out 

To this one, a date is always in his house, or yours. He will never take you out on a lunch date to a restaurant, he will ONLY ask you out to house party where he can conveniently bang you and drop you off. 

He Disappears Then Re-appears.

After trying to get laid for a week without success, you do not see him for the next two months and BAM! out of nowhere, he shows up and continues the conversation where he left, the sex chat continues. These Casanovas do not give up, they like believing that all women are daft and will fall for it. To them you are a test, so just because he calls after a year, doesn't mean he has started liking you. Ignore him like your life depends on it!

He Never Talks About Him Or Asks About You.

This dude has never asked for your second name...what do you expect? a guy who is not interested in knowing you better won't tell you what he does for a  living. He doesn't care, and you too shouldn't give a rats behind about him! 

He Keeps A Safe Distance.

This guy keeps a safe distance so that you can't lean in, you can't peck him, and you can't borrow his jacket on a cold day, he is not interest in anything more than getting laid. Guys who are interest in you will try to impress you by keeping you close enough to have a shoulder to lean on. So that they can be the ones saving your day. 

He's Clear He's Into FWB & NSA But Maybe If He Likes You, He Will Change

This type of a guy will not flinch telling you he is not into commitment, because his last girlfriend broke his heart. The minute a guy tells me he wants to be friends with benefits you should automatically log him out of my system. Because when a man has the guts to say this to you, he doesn't respect you, neither is he interested in ever building anything with you, and he will not start respecting you or loving you, just because your Victoria secret is wet and tight.

He Doesn't Communicate Unless Its About Hooking Up!

•This kind will keep you on your toes all week after promising to take you out on a date on a Wednesday, he doesn't call and in fact he remains unavailable on phone all week. Doesn't reply to your texts, but on looking at their Facebook, he's been online all day! While you keep on looking at your phone sadly waiting for him to ring,

He Asks You For A Smoking Date!

This Guy will invite you for dates  that are about doing drugs, and such doesn;t come from men who see a future with you. 

                                                      

Sex is great, and its even better with the right person, under the right reasons. 

Just imagine slippin' into the bed of a guy whom you don't know his real name, you don't know his friends, you are not even sure that the bed he's laying you on is truly his! not knowing whether you really like him...then later he drops you home, and that's it, you'll never see him or hear from him again. How bad would you feel? 

Look to "sexually invest" with someone who is loyal, who is honest so that even after a year or two then a break up happens, you will be happy you met because you had a good time with them. 

With Love,

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2015

My Side-Chick Commandment.

Cheaters, Philanderers, Woman chasers, Seductresses and the Affairs, are here to stay!

I have seen friends and friends of friends become side chicks for a very long time especially to ugly older men both resident and foreign whom they 'thought' loved them for real, that soul mate kind of love, and when the older men decide to break-up, these girls take a walk out crying with only what they're wearing, and nothing else to show from the seven year old relationship apart from an exhausted body & hopelessness.

The reality people will not accept is; no matter how much people will frown at side-chicks, the side-dish, and the "Mpango wa Kandos", all these labels, these people, are here to stay! they were there in the days of Father Abraham of the Bible and Abraham had several for himself, and men in those days would even have a hundred of the side-chicks, then known as 'concubines'. So when y'll making faces at these side affairs, remember you will have a long stressed life if you do not accept the fact that there will always be a space for them whether you like it or not...and furthermore, powerful men are rarely faithful. Take a look at our politicians for instance; Mutua governor-has a new wife, the late mutula-was claimed to have had a child after death ...a whole load of them always have several girlfriends somewhere. They like their women young.

If the guy who wants to keep you as the "Mpango Wa Kando" is not teaching you how to invest, is not teaching you how to buy stocks [with his money of course] then girl, please break up with him and start dating a guy your age and your class. With a guy your class and age, you'll be able to think along the same lines and build some life together from scratch, and you will be moving along a learning curve, plus you will enjoy the dowry payment party in the good end unlike when you're the just some secret woman.

Girls, if you really.. really.. really have to be the mistress, the kept-woman by some guy or even to some older sugar daddy, it better be one who is NOT stingy! it better be a guy who is paying for your collage education, it better be a guy who is furnishing your small house, it better be a guy paying school fees for your child too, it had better be a guy who is getting you a new house and not let you live in Huruma slums as he lives in Runda, it better be a guy who is BETTERING YOUR LIFE! else, you're just daft because the nigga doesn't like you that much if the only thing he does is have sex with you and leave you two hundred bob for your supper. He will never leave his wife for you [side chick logic you must never apply], no matter how much he raps he loves you, you're just a passing wind. Let him do something for you so that in the end, you have no or minimal regrets.


Older guys looking for sidechicks to waste time for; you better be spender if you want a loyal lady on your side, you better be ready to teach the lady how to get as rich as you are, this way she will be forever grateful to you and probaly won't ever leave your side even after you go broke! otherwise you are wasting a girl's time and energy! If you are the type of older man who would rather leave your car in town to take a motorcycle just to get to the Majengo mud shanties to your twenty five year old pretty girl-friend, shame on your ugly ass! get that girl a proper house elsewhere where you can visit with ease and where you can come in whenever you like!

A guy who is evidently "side-chicking" you, daring to just bring his big car keys and Trust condoms to your house, is an insult to you and he should not be taken seriously. Kick his disrespecting ass out! Such a guy doesn't consider you a lady enough to bring you chocolate, a watch, you know, a bottle of fine wine, a few gifts now and then just to make you feel cared for. If he doesn't, you should block him up NOW and stop talking to him because he evidently doesn't give a rats tail about you! 

Wives, be easy, side chicks are not homewreckers, your husbands come on to them and represent themselves falsely as single, never married, they even say they are widowers or their wife left for the UK, do not blame the other woman, blame your man, he is not a child to be dragged into a frequent relationsex. If at all the side chicks were homewreckers, your home would be all burnt down, but is it? I hope not.

Hey Sidechicks, don't be fools, if he ain' paying up your bills, increasing you up as he uses you up, take a walk. Because as you escort him to his business meetings in Watamu, you are not getting any younger, your bank account and life situation are at a standstill. I hate it when people waste my time so should you! 

A fella out to misuse your time and you know it, coz you only see him a few days a week, has got to 'invest' in you, he got to dress you and not just tell you what you should wear when you are going to Naivasha for a party with his boys. With these side affairs, one has to gain, as the other one gains your staying, it better be worthwhile. To him its fun "business" how about you? why are you not 'charging' for your time? He came to you because you serve it better than his legal woman, so he must be responsible for maintaining it. What he likes you for and thinks you serve better than his 'other' can be sex, conversation, company, intelligence, looks etc the list is endless...so know your value and gain from it.

Finally, if you go ahead and put up with some stingyass guy who wants to keep you as a secret, then you must really like the unsatisfying arrangement.

Thank Me Later!

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2015

Woman Battering Scumbags & How To Get Out

Who apart from a stupid waste of a man Punches a woman, a mother of his kids!? I'm pained! I do not allow shit like that in my life! I have seen violence, it won't happen to me! I always notice the psychopaths early enough, luckily!

The whole of this week I have been seeing photos on social media doing rounds, photos of some ugly dude from Papua new guinea married to a Kenyan -Meru girl Ruth Gakii, they have a three year old child and the lady is all bruised and was even hospitalized. The Nigga, she says, is beating her up because he wants the child for himself! Poor Ruth, i wish i was your friend, i always have a workable plan in mind.

I have seen friends and neighbors being beaten black and blue by their husbands and boyfriends but the women DO NOT MOVE AN INCH! Men who we end up hearing on news to have beaten their women have always done it, its never the first time, these abusive people have a  trend of how they start and continue their drama, just as Ruth narrated, the guy has beaten her several times, even in-front of her mother! but like ALL the weak and scared women do, she stayed on and on and on and freaking on til now, she is all purple on her face and in the hospital, she is lucky she was not killed. 

Some Retarded Logic Why Do Women Stay!...

-Because the ugly man is rich as hell! some women choose good life alongside beatings!
-Because the man he gives good D! Ooh! the sex is good, and she wont find any other!
-Because the women feel like they can change the guy if they take one more beating!
-Because the women do not want to be single again and they really want a family!
-Because the women are desperate! ANY man even if CRAZY AF is better than none!
-Because the woman believes the beating suggests and proves the mad man loves her to beats i mean to bits!
-Because the women fear that people will talk. after all she is strong,rich & beautiful. [abuse happens to anyone, in any status]

True Reasons!....

-Because the twit makes the woman feel guilty! making her feel like she deserves it!
-Because the nincompoop threatens to kill the woman and kids!
-Because the scumbag threatens to kill her whole family if she dares leave!
-Because the certified dumbass has locked the woman up in the house for a month!
-Because after the beating he honeymoons her and she forgives him, emotional games!
-Because the woman cannot admit its happening to her, she is in denial!

Signs He Is An Abuser!

• He is a psycho! with temper issues! you will always notice psychos even before you speak to them, they are never able to hide their stupid behavior, like abusing staff, punching people on the throat when they accidentally step on his converse shoes etc.

• He met you last week through a buddy and now wants to marry you! and asks you not to worry about the wedding expenses. Men with their emotions together look into knowing you better. Rush guys only want to get you and start manipulating you as quick as possible

• He is clingy as hell! he follows you everywhere, Demands that you cannot comment on other guys posts on Facebook and even DEMANDS you deactivate ALL your social media platforms!

• The brute locks you out of the world, no social media, no family members allowed to visit til he says so! and even deletes your phone-book!

• The insecure bonehead is super possessive, after your fast marriage, you become a prisoner, he wont let you speak to other guys leave alone hang out with your girlfriends!

• The jerk Humiliates and embarrasses you anyhow, even in public- in the supermarket and even in-front of your kids and family!

• The crazy bumpkin threatens you! every time you achieve something in your life, maybe a better job, he belittles your achievements and takes your salary raise as disrespecting him! the hare-brain blames you for his failures!

• The clown is a control freak, he says what you will wear and where you can not go and whom you cannot be seen speaking with and you are not allowed to go anywhere without his consent!

• The dimwit he is a drug and substance abuser, always high, and he might get it out on you! he actually will. drunkards always do.

• He brags that he is too rich, even the long arm of the law cannot reach him after he bitch slaps you! so be sure as hell he will beat you up!

If he has all the above characteristics, no matter how rich he is, no money is worth your life! He will knock your confidence down and you'll remain as weak as a worm.

Daily abuse eventually makes you get the " battered wife syndrome" a psychological comfort zone that makes you immune to the violence and you start to actually like it.

Girl, get away from that booooooshit! it's never worth it in the end.


How Do You Get Away From The Battering Man?! 

 I'm your girl, i will help you! •PLAN AN ESCAPE•

• Is he consistent with his abuse? Gather evidence. Place hidden cameras all over the house, someplace he cannot guess, and remember to act a fool. This will be very useful in court to put his ugly ass in jail.

• Grab every opportunity to speak to your best family members or friends, let them know what is going on, let them know you fear for your life. Keep them in the loop so that whenever you write them a "coded" text, they'll know whats up and cooking!

•Let your neighbor know that he beats you and give your best neighbor the 'signs' to note when the beating gets too bad [like breaking glasses or yelling], so that when they hear it or see it, they can call the cops. [in fact get cop friends and tell them, get their numbers and call them if you see death coming]

• Quietly get a lawyer. If he is the type that locks you in the house and only allows you to do shopping at the mall as he waits in the car, borrow a phone at the supermarket , call up a lawyer and set a quick mall meeting at the shelves corner and tell him about your situation, if you have enough evidence, hand it over, and make sure this lawyer does not know your husband.

• Lets say the guy is wealthy as hell like that Alphonse and he is not even a Kenyan, TAKE-GRAB his -I mean your money - open an account, stash the money away, transfer the cash or buy stocks or whatever, keep some cash in an unpopular micro-finance bank and hide the evidence [if you open an account where you both have a joint account, the bank manger might grass you up at a small fee]. Take ALL his filthy money, as much as you can, bit by bit till you have enough to rent a house for at least a year, pay school fees and feed you and your kids! without a flinch! a man gotta pay for his sins!

• If the dude has bought cars and land in your name, get the documents to a lawyer. Quietly. If he is the wealthy type that doesn't bother to check his property , you can sell them and buy new ones and stash them away!...don't forget to act a fool all though. make him think he is the clever one.

• When he allows you to go hang out with your kids or when he is outside the country, get a house with realtors, far off maybe at Kinoo, some place not even his friends know, only your full hundred trusted friend [1 friend!!-most friends are loud mouths!] should know, NOT ALL YOUR FRIENDS CANT BE TRUSTED!! some might be kissing your mans ass enough to rat on you about your plans! [if your parents like him enough to ask you to stay with him anyway, DO NOT tell them about your plans they will tell your crazy man!] parents who love rich in-laws cannot be trusted here!

• When he is finally at work, or at some meeting in Nigeria for three days, ESCAPE! Smoothly. Without drama, don't show neighbours that you are moving by calling Capital Movers Trucks!, no, by this time you should have got enough cash to furnish your safe house at Kinoo and start anew! Then drive out as if you're going shopping with your kids to your new peaceful house, to new neighbours who do not know what you've been through and start a brand new life. Its always safe to leave when he is not home, very safe. [just to make sure they don't rat on you, ask the househelp to prepare githeri for supper and ask your gate-man to clean the other car since you want to use later] to make them believe you'll be back!


What if he is some poor dude? Well, that makes it easier to deal with!

• If its a POOR stinkin' skank beating you up everyday, shaaaame on you! if the police won't help, call ALL your brothers and man-friends and beat his fugly ass up. Buy a Masai whip, beat him up and avenge all the hot slaps he gave you! take his money, burn his clothes, and run! far away. If you live in Kisumu, just move to Kiambu, he will never find you! He will never dare to beat a woman again! That's what hardcore angry chicks do!

Smarten up, Plan, Leave, Find Peace; peace in a bedsitter is way better than a violent, sad life in the mansion!

I'm Out! 

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2015