What's the FUSS!? He's Your Man,Wash His Underwear!!!

This Uncommon sense of washing his little clothes... what's the drama? If the Man you Truly Love cannot clean his underwear - maybe he is a  lazy ass that piles them up on the floor - why not just clean them for him? whats the big deal? how can you be sucking his sweaty Johnie but wont clean his damn underwear? I even wonder - what if he got sick and puked allover your living room, wouldn't you clean it? It's amazing that some women would rather sex up a stranger without protection than clean their man's underwear! You clean your bloody stained panties and your man's pair shouldn't bring a fuss! There's no way on earth a right thinking respectable woman gives under-wears including her own, to the weekly maid to clean [she will tell everyone in that neighborhood], that is utterly wrong and not so African! That man is yours, clean him up, there's a reason people say these men are our "second babies" - because they really are, and should be looked after- but only if he is a REAL MAN- not some lazy ass douchebag that sits "pale kwa base" the whole day! but the man that hustles and brings home the bread! Buy him new briefs and duly clean his dirty inner-wears! is it that hard?

With Love, anything is possible! including getting in to the bathroom with him and scrubbing his back when you notice he is stinking for not washing well , especially behind his ears...or just for fun, that's what romance is all about - creating moments, not about ONLY him taking you to the fancy restaurants while you do lots of nothing! If you cannot have a house romance, then its useless parading yourselves outside that you're indeed a 'romantic' couple. Follow his ass to the bathroom , shower together cuz that alone brings its own love-steams and BAM! you make love, who doesn't like making spontaneous love around the house? We gotta stop being all cranky and boring around the house such that when your man enters that house you make noise like some old radio, with questions and questions, sulking and clicking, maybe his car broke down, one of his boys needed a third wheel, give the hardworking man a damned deserved break! be lovable, let him find you in some new red- or sexy black lingerie waiting for him, then LOVE him bad with actions cuz that's what makes love steams go round and round and round, tiny silly little actions that we ignore! and i promise you, he wont have a hard time leaving 10k for the house stock shopping twice a week! The way to his wallet is being GENUINELY nice to him, girls!

Our relationships are not about us satellite like- spreading our legs for our men--there's more to life than sex, as i said, sex is a  thing, the LOVE is everything else, Treat a deserving man well, by clean him up, making sure he doesn't recycle his stinking socks for a week, making sure his shirts are ironed,  make sure his sport shoes don't stink, making sure he doesn't walk around with a torn dirty secondhand Tommy Hilfiger underwear by cleaning it for him ,or throwing it away and buying a new one! Making sure he's still not wearing the same Ben 10 underwear from high school by trashing it away,  Whats the big deal in all this? A man is a human as well, he craves almost the same attention we women crave for, give it to him , as long as he gives it all to you in return. This gestures do not include the violent lunatics, the stingy assed ones and the womanizers....I saw a good looking man get out his nice car very well dressed but his black coat had some yellow stains on the back, patch looking like baby pumpkin food, and it got me wondering, if i noticed that, where was the wife looking? or maybe she was in a bad mood in the morning. Realize that; Unkempt better-half makes you look real bad and irresponsible.

Woman thou art his helper, help with the undies clean up, as long as they got no poop on 'em!  When we have kids, and the baby's nose get all blocked up, don't we just suck the phlegm out so that our little one doesn't choke?  i have at least done that, so it gets me to wonder what the big issue is when it comes to soaking that undie, then cleaning it nicely with love, hanging it, iron it, then fold it nicely for your honey pie. The traditional roles of the breadwinner and homemaker still remains strong, no matter what you say, equality is only 'equal' on TV and Newspapers. Don't let the TV people lie to you and alienate you into their superficial unrealistic ways, That fellow is yours, make his home, he will bring the bread in the evening.

Love between women and men, shouldn't not come in 30:70 portions or 50:50, it must be 100:100 ratio, both giving our all. Two people who truly want to last should meet in the middle each with 100:100 each to offer [i don't mean rent] i mean actions, the love , kindness, imperfectness, the interest to be in that relationship...We cannot just sit pretty and expect him to take us out all the time, buy expensive dinners and wine, then leave when it comes to folding his clothes in the morning, or ironing his underwear in the morning, we must be willing to give what we expect and reward in good faith what we are given in kind, if the love's not reciprocated, we are allowed to rethink our choice. 

When that man is responsible enough to have a decent job, earn a good living, provide for you fully and the kids, loves you and you can see through actions, he's smart enough to put his dirty undies in the laundry basket and not everywhere in the bedroom, why not just pick 'em and just wash? That doesn't make you his maid, and if you feel it does, aren't you making him your dad by sitting your ass all day and waiting for him to do everything for you? Its a give and give. When two people decide to give and give, it's all gonna be bliss. Problems come when we just want to take.

Get off your high plastic stallion, Off load some Ego, Clean his underwear like its your duty, it wont bite, I'm sure he will be Extremely Happy to clean your thong next time he finds it under his bed.

And who lied that "unconditional" Love exists? Everyone wants their love requited! Nothing is ever free even a torn and worn underwear. Try Gikomba, they sell 'em.

Sincerely

Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl!

Funeral In The Mind...Generation Screwed!

Out of concern, This is a Stressed, Depressed Millennial Generation - Out Of Order; just look around and see what your friends are doing, or the friends of your friends, or even your neighbors sons or daughters. Look around and see how much social madness is now the 'new common', young people killing their parents, kids or their spouses, it's not hate, it's depression. its not just some stress, its deep-seated anxiety. How many people have you just heard or know have committed suicide or done harmful things, and when asked "they don't know how it happened" ? crosses to the other hand by finger count i bet. People have been, young people are depressed nowadays, a good number do not even know they're depressed, they do not realize they are having a funeral in their young mind. Depression is not something you can let slide, people are deeply lost in it unconsciously. It has caused young persons to drop out of schools, to elope, take drugs, to take drastic measures on issues... Some say, 'I'm just stressed' when the truth is "Depressed", while others say "I'm depressed" when they just lose some pet. It's not the same. It's not just a sad face.

There are several stages of depression, know where you belong, its easier when you are aware. The bullies in schools are no different-they have self regard issues within, the self pro-claimed "players"- that guy has self esteem issues, he hates himself and thinks that being a player will solve it, by having excess sexual encounters then bragging about it- loud. You see young girls at 19 - barely full grown already injecting botox and hip & breast boosters, young girls bleaching their faces to get the pumpkin colour, girls at 25 taking fertility pills afraid they might not get kids from all the aborted babies or even afraid of the result of too much FP pills from age 15. Young fellaz smoking pipe and getting full body tattoos [then regretting in 2 months] to look cool...They think some of these kind of actions will earn them some T.L.C and attention they badly crave for. 

Depression knows no class, its like death. Both rich kids and 'poor' kids fall victim, especially the rich kids, who mostly never get attention from their super BUSY parents - these kids only see their parents on Sundays [when parents are busy making plans for the week ahead] or not at all -- they get through the difficult teen-hood without a parent's shoulder to cry on, these rich kids cut their wrists with scapels looking for attention or death or even both, while the poor ones can only afford to pinch stuff from the market or take cheap corner drugs. Depression is real, i have had a taste of it at some point in my life, NO one is too special not to fall victim, it crawls and creeps on to you slowly, you get worked up, worried and desperate for something that too close, yet too far.

When you see cranky stone-faced Gen.Y walking headphone intact in these streets, note everyone has his/her own burdens in their heart and mind, the depressed persons will either eat too much, sleep too much or eat too little and suffer insomnia, some will stay online on their computers/phones locked up in their rooms the whole day- looking for 'love' & attention [more by posting nude photos or stalking] and when its doesn't happen [cuz it can't], they get all depressed... Depression is not sadness or some sorrow, sorrow and sadness are like a headache that soon fades out, depression is more like a cancer or some disease that requires medical attention. It's being Down, too down, every time, every day. Being hollow. Everything you liked becomes an eyesore, Depression makes you silently choke in regret, tears and rage, rage that you have no where to empty it to - other than into yourself. You feel a little insane. You become numb and feel pain , at the same freakin' time, you feel inadequate. These intense nothingness drives you into trying to solve difficult matters alone especially after midnight. You weep the whole night, hoping the tears will bring a better day, but only brings a day full of 'eye bags' and paleness.

Depression makes you be afraid to live a day longer, to see people- everyone annoys you, it's one unpleasant absence of hope, of feeling, of positivity, of interests, of response, its an endless grief that cannot be defined easily by the victim, it might be deep or shallow, it all starts from somewhere; it's more in abused kids, deserted kids, uncared for kids who even after growing up, the childhood problems still remain intact turning into a 'cold-case'. These individuals don't like keeping close friends, they become extreme angry loners -don't judge them , they like spending time alone quietly. They let the little whispers tell them things [bad things] in their head, the outside world to them doesn't matter, they only hear the little dark voices in their head, speaking negativity to them, telling them, "you're not attractive" "you're stupid" "your parents hate you" , "you need to sleep with 10 guys in a month to prove you're good in bed" , "you need to join in the player wagon to be noticed by girls"  "you need to increase your boob size to get noticed"...etc, The unhelpful Data accumulates in our minds and hearts until we believe everything the "little evil voices" tells us. Deep-blue monster is caused by different things, from brain chemistry to environment, to hormones, sex, drug abuse, genes, difficult life experiences...etc, you never know until it's you, or someone you know.

Depression causes us to sit still until we can hear your own blood pumping around our closely resigned brain, it makes you hear the second hand on the clock ticking-too loud. Our sun stops shining, we persecute our selves, this hopelessness is hard to control, its way easier to complain you have cramps and expound on it, than to explain when you have wild raging thoughts in your head all day, all night. This sickness makes us wish death or a coma or even amnesia on ourselves, so that we can forget everything that surround us. Things that are depressing us are the Unrealistic expectations-wanting perfectness, flawlessness, Childhood issues- some were sexually abused or mistreated- this its a life time trauma, Some are depressed because they are living a lie-they have perfect lives on Facebook but weeping lives beyond their borrowed, second hand or stolen gadgets.

It's very difficult to be friends with a depressed person and to love them, but that LOVE is mostly the only cure they need. Depressed people will resist your friendship, but they actually do need it. It's a mental illness coming on slowly, just like some people will take too much brandy and gins, others just take water and get depressed. People get out of it-when they get help, some, when they decide. Recognize that depression can complicate and break your life completely. Seek help, let someone love you up. Depression is a jail life sentence. Its exhausting.

I'm not a shrink, but its in my interest, when you feel the depression coming on, listen to some music, music helps drown out those little demonic angry voices within ourselves - well, at least for some time. See, Depression, is an enemy within, it turns you against yourself. Love is the solution. Self Love.

Sincerely,

Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl

Don't Get It Twisted, Sex Is Just A Thing, Love Is Everything

 "The way you make love is the way God will be with you" is not my saying, its quoted from the famous Rumi, whatever it means......

The beautiful monster, beautiful deception called love is big,  it's amazing and it's a feel good. It makes me feel awesome even when things are pretty much WRONG. It makes all the fine and rare love hormone Oxytocin starts to linger...Its just great. Love its not only the silly feelings we get- the wild butterflies, love is the comfort you get from the other persons trust and care, and the selfless love of Christ is the greatest of all time in History.  Sex is great, but love is better. Sex creates a hormonal connection that disconnects immediately after action, but love creates a mental, physical and spiritual connection. You don't need to be in a relationship to have sex, sex takes care of the physical satisfaction, but to make love, you need some form of relationship to make it happen. Love and making love is deep and genuine.

Love makes you go down with a loser, knowingly, it blinds your judgement against the other persons crimes and dark side, you hangout and share your bed with a common thug, because love happens. When you do not engage your beautiful brain, Love can carry you over, cause you to lose money, lose your property, lose morals and finally lose your sanity. Sex is mostly done at the spur of the moments, to satisfy lust and desperation of penetration, to just get it done, once you orgasm, you'll wait till you're aroused again, you'll wait for a decade to see that guy again, but Love doesn't stop, it goes on and on and on. When you want to make love, you'd prepare some space, your body and your mind and think of the other person. Sex is just an event and an act, love is ongoing, and if its not, its all fake. Love and sex are like wine and keg, respectively, distinctively different, whatever you taste is.

Making love is still having sex , but when you're having sex you're not really making love. Sex merely relieves you in singular, the tension of it all, making love on the other side, involves feelings of two people, involves reciprocation from the two people, with mere sex, it satisfies one person, sex is selfish and almost never mutual.  Making love is mutual where you both aim to satisfy the other, you do not give each other 50:50 ratio of it all , but you give each other 100:100 ratio of everything. Making love makes you one soul, one body, one mind, mere sex doesn't. Sex its a hit and run. Sex is just a release with zero romance involved, its an emotionless, uncommitted instant gratification. Making love is ideal for the
the prolongation of the human race, mere sex does it too, and labels the result as "unwanted babies"

Mere sex happens between strangers, sex is what prostitutes have, they never make love. since this act looks to satisfy the "buyer" of her body and service. Newly weds make love [most] , married people [who truly adore & respect each other] make love on their matrimonial bed. The youngsters that meet at the parking lots and at the club dumpsters in the dark just have sex, quickie sex, hook ups, that can never be making love its just sex, you just poke each others privates and whoever cums first, its game over.
Mere sex comes in the packages of hooks ups, friends with benefits, one night stands, hate sex, ex sex, make up sex, etc. Making love must involve some intimacy and an exchange of it [a spiritual exchange]. This is how the nightly demons makes love to people at night, because they are trading off something into you. Beware.

Having sex doesn't take two to tango, it doesn't even take two to the finish line, it doesnt take two to the bed of satisfaction, it Only takes the needy one, the other party in fact, doesnt really have to agree to it, she only have to believe in the lies and silly compliments then give in to sex hoping the 'event' will bring forth some feelings, even if a little. Mere act of sex comes raw with no foreplay, just shoving himself in and out of you, then leaves as if nothing has happened. I want love, not sex, i can have way better sex while in love, i give my all. To make love, you must engage the head above the shoulder, not the southern, with sex you wont need a brain at all. They say, the best love making takes place in the mind first....Once the sex is done no one cares once its over,

Making love makes you feel alive, sex makes you feel used, and Once you understand the difference of having sex and making love, you'll know where you stand. It's Friday, people definitely gon' be havin' lotsa sex tonight, only few will make it to make some good love, do whatever the hell you feel like! Remember upright and civilized individuals cannot satisfy their sexual needs without Love.

So, Are you having sex, or are you making love....? YOLO.

Sincerely
©Njoki, TheGood-BadGirl.

Only Foolish Folks Settle For Quasi Relationships!

Some call it casual dating, i call it extremely decorated fear of commitment or commitment-phobia where the participants main point is eating their cake and still have it on the plate, unrealistic, unfair and not square. The men want to have to date seven chicks at the same time, "dating" is even more high end for such, men want to just have sex with seven chicks at the same round with zero responsibility. And women want to have sex and have the bills paid by the ten guys each by his portion of it. Which is okay, as long as your vagina doesn't get all sore and swell for humping on all those todgers. And or even carry an STD, considering that your vijayjay is vulnerable to catching STDs at first poke; a man might be carrying it without his knowledge for months and then load it in you. So beware.

The culture of "open relations" has always been there, better referred to as the Hook Up Culture, and our generations has only sharpened it by getting more shallow, short-sighted and superficial. Even the book of Ecclesiastes confirms 'there's nothing new under the sun', so yeah,. its been there. Casual "dating"..[I'm tempted to call it casual "sexing"] comes in various forms or relationship counterfeits; There is  [FWB] The Friends With Benefits, There is The [ONS] One Night Stand, There Is [NSA] No Strings Attached, [OP] Open relationships, [FB] Fuck buddy and the ruthless low esteemed [BC] Booty call, when you're a booty call your are usually their LAST option. keep that in mind. Booty calls includes when the guy/chick only calls to ask you when you're free so that s/he can come over, calls you out for a drink on late nights, wants you to be his/her valentine on Feb 13th midnight. The very last option. Who even stands being treated as last?

Smart women finish Rich or better with a Ring. If the benefits of any of the delusional quasi relationships is not buying me a huge piece of Land or a Huge Home somewhere at spring valley all in my name, then i wouldn't bother participate. Ladies gotta realize the value of wasting time and getting good returns for the same. Having someone pay your 8k rent and a 5k house shopping monthly its not smart enough a measure against wasting your minutes which turns to years in a 'destination to nowhere' kind of  relationship whilst killing all the chances of being is a sensible- loving- respectful relationship. I'm certain Broke girls do bad things. Girl if you are in a FWB relationship with a Broke dude or you are about to get into one, Hey! Abort Mission, I Repeat Abort Mission!!!.  FWB [which is popular in this city] DOESN'T apply for two broke people. Do your math, it doesn't matter if you scored a D- in math, just do your math. You're better getting a full hundred Love scene.

I personally do not support all the above forms of relationships, call me old school, but its with my amour propre that i respect monogamy and respecting my partner wholesomely, and when its over, its gets done in a civilized way and life goes on. I highly support monogamy, cuz its the most sensible and respectable. I would feel like a complete Manhattan ho' if i slept with two people in the same month! Most people here will pretend to be care free and that they DON'T want some special person caring for them, loving them, spoiling them, making good sincere love to them, calling and texting them, but all the pretense cooks up a heartache in the long-run because we all want to be Loved. Gosh! Who doesn't want to be frickin' Loved!? Mind and body, we all want Intimacy. Intimacy with all its lovey dovey is not included in the variations of the Quasi relationships which are all sham, surface, immature and just sex oriented. There is something great beyond just sex, sex without love leaves people depressed-which none of you will admit to be.

These dreadful relations look worse on women, having a couple of 'sex thugs' treat you like a vibrator just so that you can seem and be deemed as "an exciting chick", is just desperate. Note that behind your back, you're their whore and they talk about how bad they flexed, experimented and used you, they high five about it, they'll kick you out once the "commitment phobia" lunacy and idiocy leaves them, trust me, then they will get a girl who is worth it, and one that HASN'T been sleeping around. That is the HEIGHT of double standard with men...moulding you into their whore, "selling" you out as one, and then dumping you for a "saint". Choose one struggle, you cant be foolish all the time.

You have more chance of having quality feelings, quality love and quality sex in a committed relationships. Single or sexless hasn't killed anyone yet. in fact, anybody here at and beyond age twenty five still participating in this shitty meaningless screw up, is just not serious with their limited life. Treating sex like a basic need at that age is kind of foolish. Be with someone sensible you can't even talk about investing with. Someone you can share ideas. Open up to. What do people really want! Sex is an icing on the cake, it must-should be enjoyed under full intimacy, not just meeting and sliding it in without even a sorry peck. Sex is just a thing, Love, is everything.

With all the versions of these plastic, bullshitful relationships, their main point is having fun crawling in and out of different beds and sleeping around or better whoring around without anyone questioning you and your morals or getting jealous about your moves. No one asks you where you've been and with whom you've been with and whatever you were doing. It is an adventure in it self. Girls especially do not honestly  like it [they're all pretending they don't mind shit], we all love being the "Main Chicks" and carrying all his attention. 
The women and men involving themselves in all the fakery have self esteem issues and direly need a bucketful of self regard, they do not sincerely love-value themselves at all. They might even be suffering stress and depression. These kind of relationships are not for the fainthearted, it requires hard cores or better "don't cares" or those who pretend not to care or as better known for "not giving fucks". The problem is when you have too much of "not giving a fuck" attitude about stuff, the fucks will pile up into a big hip of fucks and extremely "fuck" you over. 
The Quasi Relationships End when you Begin Falling In Love.


Your Thoughts?

Sincerely,

©Njoki-TheGood-BadGirl! 

Call Me Auntie Social, The Miss Communication

I Love one on one communication and when it comes to courting/and or dating it all gets trickier by the day. Dating is getting harder and harder theses days, people tend to really make things super complicated, they don't say things they want to, they just whats-app it alongside a goofy emoticon, almost everyone is shady on their phone-since its easier to say devastating, shameful things on phone than on someone's face. People can no longer make a sound live conversation without looking into their gadgets, and if you're my type that enjoys an all round one on one convo, I'm pretty sure you get annoyed of talking to someone who is giggling at their phones, its such a TURN OFF - Guilty ones. I get pretty annoyed talking to someone who is texting or on Facebook as we vibe without excusing themselves, it gives me a clear cut negative feeling that this person's interest in talking to me is at level Zero and they're better off as Sofalizing freaks. Healthy communication allows us to share our ambitions/goals concerns, open up our fears, share our history, voice our interests and make conclusions about the person-- much better than keeping quiet and guessing it all. Good Communication is connection, you know each other by talking.

I have always said that tradition still holds in many ways that includes Love, Dating, Marriage and Communication. A small mistake with communication can make a potential partner take a forever hike and never come back. Communication goes on even when we don't speak, the body language , tone, posture and the eyes tell their tales, within the silence of two or more people, there is a loud communication that happens when they look at each other wordlessly, there is a "silent" part in us that dissects silence. That non verbal communication is the one that gets believed-and it should be believed. Which makes me conclude, silence in itself is some negative 'communication'. When you go out with some guy; he promises to call you or invite you for another date and he doesn't do that for the next one/two weeks, no he's not busy and didn't die, he is just NOT that interested in you to say something. Take the silence as a cue. Don't stoop your ass to call him to find out if he died in a bike crush, if he died, you'd have known- somehow. Know that silence is tacit communication. Zero communication is also a Tact. An interested fellow initially communicates, just as an interested girl and woman, Responds, positively.

Social media seems to be making things harder everyday when it comes to communication, however this only sways awkward people who do not stand for anything in life, i mean, weak people who go on with the currents and don't stop to think of balancing stuff out. Communication brings a very clear connection and it cannot be ignored, it is very difficult to keep a relationship fire burning between lovers who cannot sit, chat and laugh together, that's a problem alert, since if you cannot communicate, sit and talk about different things, how do you think you will sit and talk about who will pay school fees for the kids, who you'll name your kids after.. when you blindly get married after just chatting on Facebook for two years? that shit don't work- in the long shot. Guys and girls are all great on social media till you meet them, they barely keep a second's eye contact, can't make a comprehensive sentence, can't bring up a topic unless you do it yourself! 

Well, call me Auntie Social again, i love socializing and laughing it out as much, i connect easily with different kinds of people, I'm good with that, it comes natural and i know it, simply because i like hearing different thoughts from the different people. I very well without flinching Disqualify a guy out of my potential long term partner simply because he cannot communicate properly or intelligently. When the only thing a guy frequently tells or -mostly in this era texts you is how great he is in bed, he possesses the biggest D on earth, how hot you look and or what magic orgasms he will give you, on and on, that means that's the Only way he is seeing you, A Sexual Satisfaction Fantasy Experimenting Doll! and if you're a serious case who's on the road to getting a well rounded person for a long term intimate partnership this one here will well waste your minutes...you may want to add the cliches of 'nobody is perfect and we should just accept them as they come...blah blah blah...but hell, you can take it home coz communication is vital even when you're going to see a doctor darling you must communicate sense back and forth. Great convincing Communication is what makes con men prosper in their art of business, same thing with relationships.

Miscommunication or bad communication skills in people come in different hues, like, someone talking all through about themselves-which presents a selfish conversational narcissist, someone who rudely interrupts you in the middle of your contribution-worse when it's in public since it can be intimidating -mission being to downsize you in-front of your or his friends [someone who genuinely loves you wont dare do that to you]. Some will just do the "hot phone sex talk" for 24hrs non stop...[as great as sex is, even in marriage you will never have sex for a full 24hrs, you'll need something to fill the day up with- unfortunately] See, without communication, you will believe rumors and gossip instead of asking or talking to your partner, without communication, you will make extreme assumptions [like assuming he loves you and will marry you just because you had some steamy sex for one day]....How can you fall for a guy who only calls you once a month, or leaves your text convo hanging for weeks then creeps back with a "Hi Dear"... like seriously! That's the highest order of disinterest.

Just imagine the time when you don't call your mom for a week or two [which is bad manners not to check on your parents/guardians], doesn't she call to check on you? to check if you drowned deep into the Nairobi evils?.....Get off that phone and meet someone over for coffee today it's much more fun than texting all through back and forth! beware, smartphones can give you a hunchback and a sore eye.

Proper, Practical Communication in relationships is just like oxygen, our relationships cannot Blossom without it!

Your Thoughts?.....


Sincerely,
 Njoki, TheGood-BadGirl
#TeamNoBullshit

The Desperate Despairing Girlfriends...

Looking around what goes on in these estates and apartments, you'll notice those Women who desperately on time arrive on Weekends to clean their boyfriend's dishes, 10kg of clothes,loads of stinky socks & stained beddings [without the knowledge of who stained them]....dude hasn't even introduced you to his neighbor leave alone his mother! ...and you later lay your body for him to Stretch on overtime...then give you a push to the bus stop at 6:30pm...and gives you 100/= fare, and after all that scrubbing and washing he cannot even buy you some good lotion or even Arimis milking jelly for your hands!... smh like really? are you his weekly house-help? 'cause that's exactly what it looks like? ....If you want to be treated like a Respectable Lady, be one, if you want to be treated like "mama kibarua" act one.

There's nothing under the sun you can do to make a guy who isn't interested in loving you, marrying you to actually love you bad enough to marry you__well unless you use witchcraft [which eventually fails anyway]...but he will sure as hell fire USE you when you offer it! Love cannot be forged! and where it is, it's definitely not by playing "mama wa kufua". A man voluntarily loves you mostly on his terms and goes an extra mile to introduce you to his people and asking you to move in with him--which is the only time you can practice wifely duties. Lately, women are behaving like men are going into extinction, i have no idea who has been feeding my kind with all the crap about men being to few for each and every one of us, that's crap. Women are kissing ass every corner, from uncalled for general cleaning of his home, to accepting being his 7th girlfriend knowingly, to standing being physically abused daily!... when i look around i can currently count a good nine that i can count on if i wanted just a husband today. Girls please, no more  boyfriend and husband rush in this city.

 Let a guy court you properly if he even knows the meaning of courting in the first place, please note courting doesn't mean going to his place and having a one hour sex adventure. Courting includes knowing each other in other ways other than knowing each others private parts. It's learning the other person and calculating as you go whether you can really stay together. But if your courting is just visiting each other, drinking soda, smoking shisha, munching "chips kuku" and finally going home after shagging when you're together, you're on the road to "just fun" which leads to the vast road to nowhere. I believe people should have meaningful relationships, don't parade yourself as desperate and risk being used and dumped. Time is precious don't waste it. If you are still seeing "stuff" today like you were seeing "stuff" when you were seventeen, you're and you've wasted your years. We must grow mentally and emotionally as we go.

People can only be shown how to treat us, and anybody including that dude you think loves you will not refuse it if you go pushing yourself in to clean his clothes uninvited every Saturday. Respect and value yourself first to gain the same from the others. I don't mean that you should let pride carry you over to downfall, but its good to value and know your worth before anything else. You cannot go long pretending to love other people than you love and respect yourself. Your true self eventually surfaces.

Its amazes my grace that some of these desperate girls playing weekend housewives will not even wash a couple of clothes for their mama or sibling. Or even their very own. But washes the minute its a human with a dangling todger with promissory gestures that look like love and a few notes. Bending your back all the way back and acting all needy and sacrificing yourself for unworthy causes like doing laundry wont give you the LOVE and ATTENTION you're dreaming of. Men do what they want, when they want. You can as well wear your tough pants and DO what you want and when you want it.

Even the weakest of men will respect you when you have your own LIFE going on! when you have your own goals and ambitions that you are duly pursuing and not kissing his ass all the time, it gets boring you know. Never assume "the ultimate wife" role. It doesn't work that way. Just imagine if some guy did the same by assuming he is your man and telling everyone and going further to arrange a chiefs office "wedding" without your knowledge, wouldn't you be very annoyed? i thought so... Let him ASK you to be his girlfriend/wife first. That's the rule. And not moving in by sneaking your stuff in one by one, you'll give that guy a hard time trying to kick your desperate sneaky scheming devious ass out when he is finally fed up with your pressurized presence!

At the least don't play housewife when you're merely an acquaintance, a comrade, a "chips funga", or an ally.... that would be more like an Intern trying to play the role of a Manager....looks bad right?  Placing yourself on "his girlfriend" pedestal without him proposing the same idea its stooping too low, forcing issues, your only job is to show and keep yourself interested in him and not Bending your knees to propose or bending your good-ass to play "mama wa kufua" to him --I'm almost certain he doesn't like it especially when he hasn't asked you......raise that bar! say no to self inflicted-slavery!... Okay, if you MUST prove you're a wife material, just do the dishes and wipe the table and sit your ass and talk, get to know each others second names for Pete's sake!

Remember just because he muttered a "thank you for doing my...laundry" Doesn't MEAN he Loves you, Wants you at his house unannounced or he appreciated it. Thank you is just that. On a serious note, if you are not at least shacking up together, don't bother playing wife to him by laundry else, you'll remain as such "His Laundry woman"

© Njoki,TheGood_BadGal!

‪#‎TeamNoBullshit‬!

If She Cheated On You, It's Your Fault!

Women do not necessarily cheat, and when you catch them doing something that looks like an affair, they are not cheating but just releasing an emotional stock burden you gave them. When we decide to love we love deeply and for a woman to go hugging another man suggestively, making obvious moves, seeking a shoulder to lean on means you as her man is failing on your part, you may have developed a very huge belly that made you very unattractive to look at while naked, you may have stopped shaving your pubic hairs, you may have stopped brushing your teeth or cleaning your navel etc. While men usually cheat for the steamy thrill of the adventure, a woman looks for some tender love and care, Read;Passion. If again she was your previous MWK, and now your main woman, trust me that there's a 70-30 chance that she will involve her self in an affair, just like you involved your self with her while in a relationship. Say karma. In her mind you're a cheat and she cannot really, entirely trust you. Read;Insecure.

Men pretend to be busier than Obama while they are as equally employed in a eight hour jobs like the many others in this city, they will act like they serve in Gaza strip, such that they won't even get time to cuddle or talk the talk or even make a phone call to their baby to say something or even reply to text. These are the guys that think cuddling is stupid and think that sex is only appropriate on their beds. These guys think a two and a half minute foreplay is enough, they are inconsiderate about their woman's feelings when they act like this, knowing very well women like being engaged emotionally and mentally in nearly everything. I mean everything. That's how the female OS works. Just engage the mind and emotions and BAM! you've got it!

It's very rare for a woman to cheat for the mere thrill of it, a woman will cheat because its revenge time, because she found your wandering penis out. A woman will cheat to fill in that emotional hole that you've left wide open. Keep in in mind that when you're not giving her the attention she deserves, there are other guys, many of them, cornering her to give just that. Just as men assume or rather pretend that women are too many that he will just get another one that easily after messing up intentionally; we assume the same, because, evidently, there's no shortage, at  least not of todgers to mess with.

We strongly hold on to the fact that, being heard is close to being loved. Your woman will go out there to have an affair with your best buddy because she is lonely, and your buddy has been telling her how beautiful and curvy she is, how he wishes she were his, how her smile is warm, how her walk is sassy, how great she looks after two babies; things that you don't bother telling her. We like hearing sweet things or sweet nothings; this is the method that the players, the smooth operating love thugs have been using all along to get laid by all the hot and not hot girls. They usually know what to say to a woman, how to make her wet just by a text, i mean wet her lips yearning for just a kiss even before the thug gets closer to her. And by nice juicy words the love thugs get away with it, smart and simple.

Men here and everywhere else will say that all women love money and if they don't get enough to shop every weekend they will go out there get a loaded guy and cheat serially. No. You may have all the money on earth for your woman, but when you're never there, she spots where she can be listened to and loved [even if its imaginary] . Its a presence over presents matter. We've seen women married to rich men going ahead and getting laid by their gardeners, right? its same logic. When you're not around to play with her, she seeks it elsewhere even if it will mean stooping as low as your toilet cleaner. Remember even the driver she eyes owns a prick and she will get it when you won't give it to her good. Read;Sexual fulfillment.


All the same, whoever cheats, should know that Cheating and lying are not a gun point choices, they are just choices, self made. Most of these issues we have in relationships can well be solved by proper Communication. See a woman will "fall in love" or rather infatuate over some some guy she met once, who just texts or calls her, that kind of a guy messes up her fragile emotions and that's it he has her in his palms.  Communications plays a big role here.

Bottom line is ,there's no ultimate excuse for Cheating. Not one. You'll only cheat when you no longer respect your partner. Period.


Yours Truly,
Njoki, TheGood_BadGirl
#TeamNoBullshit

Nairobi Butt Crack Epidemic .

Please Note: Friends don't let their true friends wear low cut jeans and walk with them showing an ugly butt crack. Well Ass is great, but wearing that low cut jeans or saggy jeggings or those sheer tights that are more of see through stockings... showing yo' black ass crack ain' a sweet sight. Its usually ugly, if you fancy them low waist jeans please invest in a good belt that hold that thing into place or just wear the right trouser for your type of body. That sight is not appealing to the old men of my fathers age or yours not even to other women, especially the older than your self. Wear whatever pleases you and remember to Respect your body type. Its yours alone.

Girl, Cover it , leave room for imagination, in fact its better for you to walk around showing those thighs in a mini skirt than yo' black sweaty ass crack while alighting from a Matatu, or sitting somewhere imagining you're being pretty. Lose that. I think it makes you look like a retarded dolphin tryna' show people that silly line on your behind. People who are serious with their life don't pull that shit. It's utterly foolish to think you looking good parading that part.

Yo' ass is not a pair of Breasts, leave that buttock cleavage well covered! dang! and you're not a plumber or a sailor, they show that out there. Realize people out here will be doing the "SMH" and well laughing Silently at you while you strut around as if you own the paths. This look leaves you looking like a done MORON!  And its actually not only chicks have this problem, the sagging guys as well go parading that ass crack, you'd think its popping some beat as they walk. Really! A Long mirror is just 800 shillings, buy and look at your behind, bend a little and see if your jeans follows down, put on a belt or go back to bed.

Okay, i get it that ass gotta breathe, but please do that in your house, because even your mom wont like seeing it in her house. In fact underwear is not a must wear garment, we get that the lower body needs a breather so that bacteria don't sit happily on your folds, but some sweaty ass crack, Holy Cow! Who likes seeing it? That's not even fashion. Unless you're an Italian model and your photographer wants that look, but on these dusty Nairobi streets? you are actually making fun out of your self and yo' black ass crack. It shows like you're hollering out loud "hey guys, look i'm so retarded" Trust me! Bad Taste! Nobody can take you seriously walking around all ass crack out.

Its a Bright day alright, and you're probably seeking attention, all fine by me, just don't make a spectacle of yourself, people will laugh at your peeking ass line - i have seen that, they will take pics and put your ass up on social media and others will sneer [i'm sure you don't care, but it still doesn't look good] The city council can get your ass arrested for showing "butt crack" - okay i made that up, but No more butt crack ladies. If you're in heavy weight, put on whats good for your body, if you're one GB like me, chose what good for you, or just put on a cute dress or proper trousers. That butt cleavage thing is offending when someone's eye meets it looking all ugly in broad day light, and it makes one wanna throw up for real, especially when its sweaty and all blackout. smh. Lets Get real.
That stunt leaves you looking really really Stupid.

Yours Truly,
Njoki-The-Good_Bad-Girl

We Never Attract Them, We Accept & Keep Them.

                       Playing Russian roulette

I have heard girls & boys, gents and ladies complain of how much they are consistently attracting assholes and serial time wasters into their lives that always leaves them hurting and regreting ever engaging in the dating pool race....The thing is, no one really attracts a certain celibre of people, we rather accept these wayward people into our lives and then hope fast and pray the characters will feel a little bit of mercy and change their sneaky ways and be nice to us...and the truth is, shit don't happen. No matter how much you sacrifice your good ass for an unavailable ass he/she won't suddenly or ever get all merciful and change because you happen to be crying all night and or complain of how much mentally, emotionally threatened or strained you feel. Change comes from within, it's an inside job, the particular person must Want to take charge of his/her own behavior and there's nothing an outsider [who is you] can do to change them.

Like when you start 'seeing' a guy that never pulls a chair for you, doesn't play chivalry, doesn't pay your part of the bill at the restaurant, and its your kinda thing, there's nothing you can do to make him start doing it. You accepted him, so you must keep up. Like when you want to get married, and you go on a dating site, or find a guy who clearly has put across that he doesn't want to Ever ever get married, doesn't want to Ever ever have kids, you accept them since they were cute, when you get together, you wont change a  MAN with that mind just because you do him all the 69 monkey styles in bed, again,When you fully accept a depressed violent alcoholic in the guise that, your love shower for him will change him to a good church going husband, you wont, you cant, you're not a therapist or a rehab. When he doesn't want, he doesn't, you accepted him that way, keep up. 
Eyes Wide Shut.

Like when you start seeing some guy, and he clearty has shown you he doesn't like texting, even after sleeping with him 100x he wont start loving the throwing a random lovey dovey word or two thingy. He Won't. Like if you notice that guy you so badly want to date or sleep with wears extremely skinny jeans till todger can't breath....when you finally are together he wont stop don'ing yellow skinnys and those huge plastic shoes because "you don't like guys who do skinny jeans and plastic shoes" No He Wont. You accepted the fashion error show, keep watching.
Like when a guy clearly states on Facebook or wherever that he is not looking for a serious relationship, that he is out seeking 'fun', that he is only interested in a ONS, FWB or just the benefits only, or even 'open relationships crapiola, once you've accepted this type, you're signed in with a certified man-ho' and he won't change just because you want him to change. You chose that talent in him, play on the Russian roulette. good-luck, you'll need it.

Like when he brags how much he beat up his last 42 girlfriends black and blue for spoiling his toaster or hitting his car at the gate...and you accept to stay with him "because people are not perfect, that bitch deserved it" yada yada yada yada yada yada..... you feel that you're so special he won't dare lay a finger on you, darling, even the immediate ex was once special and red alert he is affording to go lights blazing braggin' about it. Violence especially doesn't just fade because you've been accepting it, just look at couples who physically fight, they never stop, ever. There's no mercy that comes forth, they only learn to keep the noises down by upping the tv volume, while blows get harder. You accepted the bull, keep crying. Like when you readily accept the hot dude who refer to you as his "super hot bitch" well, he will not stop De-valuing you, subtracting you, dividing you, disregarding you or insulting you comfortably just because you're now his official chick. It just doesn't work that way.

Instead of trying to change someone, why not just pick exactly what you want? Be specific, if you want  a serious relationship, only Entertain and go out with a person who has shown or said they want the same kind of arrangement. They exist, trying to change wayward people is  a job that you won't get paid for. If you want a man that want to have kids in the near future accept that one that loves kids and cant wait to have his own, loving a lunatic that doesn't like the idea of babies at home [tells you so], hates and scares kids away wont help your endeavors. Its more like planting cucumber and expecting french beans to sprout. Its worthless, its draining tryna' deal with people who are evidently 'out of your boundary'.

Its like a game of cards, take a gander at 'em, make your move...

Njoki, The-Good-Bad-Girl

#TeamNoBullshit.

Must Follow Rules Of Being A Perfect Mi-stress

Most times when we fall for a guy without knowing him properly, its usually all superficial, and sometimes its too crazy to just ignore, then we go a step closer and know him more, go out on a curious coffee date know a little about each other, hug each other, get to know each others perfumes, and on the 7th date, you spot a ring, only this time he forgot to hide it. This man is handsome , tall like you like them comin', loaded like you imagine 'em, he is just the guy you've been searching for...At this point you're already so frickin' deep into his charms that you just brush the reality of his unavailability status off and its from here that you decide to just take him on, you settle for being his Other Woman. Being his other "steamer" comes with its own bullets and its for the chosen few and those who can squeeze in no matter what.

1.Thou Shall Not... Claim any space, don't demand certain hours or days or holidays are for you. Be humble this guys has other important person/s in his life other than you. Always Know your space & place, recognize your 'scores', take a chill pill. if its the money you want, go ahead, get smart and gather as much as you possible then take a hike. if its a husband. well,  you're a lost sheep. forget it, get yours who has no chances of hearing your past, if at all you'd made it public.


2.Thou Shalt Not...Stalk his wife/girlfriend, it only makes you look more stupid than you are already! in fact you got no right whatsoever to hate on his wife/girlfriend...especially when you are the one who came onto him literally. you are actually the thief here.

3.Thou shalt not... Quit dating other people for such man's sake. no matter the excuses no woman on earth likes to be number two, we all want to own a man and keep him for ourselves! So as you"see" him get your own. you might eventually find out that you wasted a lot of time with him- remember such a guy has a running family while you don't. he is well wasting your time.

4.Thou shalt not...Introduce him to your mother this only increases the false hopes of ever getting married. remember you're a side dish, remain as such. don't think of introducing him to any relatives even showing his photos around. someone who knows someone who knows his wife or his other side-chick might tell on you.

5.Thou shalt...Be very Discreet! don't create scenes and scandals! or even Tag him in all your stupid photos on social media, its pretty annoying and embarrassing is he is especially older than you, and remember he doesn't want to be found out. I'm sure he's shown signs of wanting you to be his secret service, anything outside his codes of secret might get your ass thrown out.


6.Thou shalt ...  Stay calm and continue feeding on his bullshit if especially you've been building castles on how this dude will leave wife and kids for you. Get in in your head that his is just a chase game, and he is enjoying the thrill of it till whenever, no matter what he tells you it will not end well, someone must get hurt.

7.Thou Shalt Not...Get mad when he makes plans and cancels them indefinitely, and however he pleases, he is not answerable to you. since you've got no future. Girl, your situation-ship so good, you only deal with the present. and caresses.

8.Thou shall not...depress and trip over that attached man who most probably don't give 50% shit about you. If he didn't promise, i mean swear to take you as second wife, be prepared to remain right on the fence. accept and keep on since you chose the problem. Get a life outside him.

9.Thou shall... very much expect other people to nickname you, catcall on you, get angry at you and you cannot get mad. society shall stone and crucify you whether he is the one who lead you on or otherwise eg, side hoe, side chick, home wrecker, husband thief etc, so if you got a "thin skin" attitude, get an elephant skin transplant. this game requires hard players. this happens mostly if you cannot shut your trap about your relationships.

 10. Thou SHALL NOT fall in love with this one. if you're about to, or got plans to, ABORT Mission. no matter how much swearing he has done, shit wont work a step. he supposedly fell in love with his wife and he's now cheating on her, the mother of his kids. you don't have to be a detective to notice a pattern here. duh!

11. Thou shall not trust this man, always use a condom, you might not -in fact you're not, the only side fish in his "see". STDs can be embarrassing. You're not even supposed to believe him or anything he spits out of his lying snaky mouth. remember he is cheating with you, HELLO! doesn't that SAY SOMETHING ALREADY?

I know this is an attractive trap we all come across, we fall so deep for some guy, and then voila! he's MARRIED! and he actually pretends he regrets to have been married before meeting you...smh.. we believe we can take it coz that 'stupidity hormone' is on a high octane, this bullshit arrangement isn't easy...
To be a successful smooth Mistress, you have to have some Discipline, Faux class, grow up and leave all your teen manners behind, Be smart and be very very Private about your issues coz you might be abducted and beaten thoroughly on your way out of the Motel.

Otherwise,go home be alone in your room and think real HARD...ask your self if you were made to collect crumbs, when maybe you see your true value, you probably won't chose that lane. coz taking second place begins with not loving and rating ourselves bad and high enough, respectively.

All the same, being a side kick is so much of a hassle, I'd rather we don't settle for it at all. coz who died and left just ten men for a hundred girls to gamble on in this town?  

Njoki, The-Good-Bad-Girl.

#TeamNoBullshit 

The Popular Hujuma Central.

                                            
                                         No Woman No-Don't Cry....

They've said "Ni Hujuma! yani nimWorship hivi na haoni anitreat vizuri"...Women complain of this way day in day out how bad their guys are treating them and ask what they should do now, [duuuuh, move it like you've seen a ghost]  ...and actually they write to ask what these actions mean, what certain texts and gestures mean [not being called/texts]....Love is hard i know, but most times, we ignore the red-flags from the beginning of the sour 'drama festival' arrangement and this is the major reason we fall in the bottomless pit of sorrow. Some get married for the "title" of it, only to be sidechick'd by the fella, yes you can be the side-chick to your 'boyfriend', maybe he is afraid to leave your benefits because you two spend YOUR money or live in YOUR house ...more because by the way, males are pretty weak, the stronger women do push men that do not love them into marriage and the man goes deep into THAT shit just like a goat walks in when its going to be slaughtered, I'm sure you've seen the goats reaction huh....it happens a lot.

Men at fault treat their old cars, jordan sneakers [brand new second hands fakes] and dogs way better than their staying 'woman' haven't you witnessed? Others actually admit they are dogs, am talking those that have the nerve to call their woman "my bitch" that title has a reaction of its opposite....i do not care how much you profess your love or spend on me, but i can never be your bitch. Girls don't allow these silly insults and stunts. When you stick by these typa' niggas, blame none other than yourself since you made YOUR GRAND CHOICE to make your ass available to that foolish unavailable male; after all the evidence of dis-regard,and dis-respect....after he's tired of you, replaces you and kicks you out, you cry that heart out.....as he enjoys his nights out.


See, With all the new age laziness and ONLINE Craze, we definitely cant avoid "dating" and "making friends" online - some are even throwing their marbles further and are marrying online --without ever meeting..jeeeez!  Believe me, Lunatics are many and are hiding behind their gadgets, be careful who you wanna meet and be their '2 hours stand' forget the one nights they're too long nowadays, the world is quick..... Still there are a handful of great honest guys as well, looking for genuine TLC. We cannot condemn all

Men are really amazing, -depending on what they are doing [to you], see most will not even want to be the lately popular FWB- friends with benefits, they will just ask for the BENEFITS upfront without flinching...didn't i chat with a guy online, who called me 'miss scorch' and said he will look to impregnate me the day I'll go out on a date with him.... Yes its that's hot out here. And who would i blame if i met with such kind of insane? and confusing such talk for compliments...Eyes wide shut! When guys come on you in this direct way and out-rightly show you their WANTs, and like the rat that kissed the python, you get squeeeeeeeezed and swallowed whole. Your legs walked you there, cry not sister.....cry not. Dust yourself and try again.

The guys who are still hallucinating still believe the foolery that they are a hundred over a thousand girls, and they're bluffin....people are getting married every Saturday, if their theory were true these men marrying and proposing everyday wouldn't bother settle for just one....so these guys who believe we have to fight over them, feel that we should be lucky to have them sniffin' around us....butt hell!  the real issue is These type of males have no respect for themselves- do not expect them to respect you...and if you got zero value for yourself, don't envision about being valued by any.  'Charity begins at home'-they said.


Ladies, being so accommodating, patience and understanding is our Ultimate CHARM....and CURSE at the same time, that's why many are still in nerve-wrecking relations all in the name of "He will Change With Time"....someone said that depressed people have a tendency of promiscuity and relationship instability, they treat their partners bad, since they have issues deep inside. Women like helping such, but the real story is; Do not imagine you can help them, especially when they did not get depressed "under" your "roof" you gon' have a haaaardass time tryna make it right for him, because you'll burn lots of time. People i insist, do no change because you prove you can suffer for them, they change because they CHOOSE TO. Change comes from within.


Girls, lets use our brain in equal measure as our hearts and tu-feelings.... when we start engaging our thinking right and fair, we find out how stupid we have been all the while sticking our necks for guys who woulnt stick out his finger for us. Jumping rivers for males who cannot step through a paddle for us.....make it a 'jihudumie kwanza' central.

Me, Njoki-TheGoodBadGirl.