The Basics Of Online Dating In Kenya

We are in the new age, although I like my love stuff coming on traditional, Online dating is here and its here to stay, its almost the only way to meet many people at a go. While dating online looks easy and cheap, it can be quiet challenging, exhausting and very dangerous. But on the same note its good because it brings you hundredths of suitors to look and pick out from besides being lots of fun since you really do not have to talk or meet someone you do not like.

I have chat with guys online and while some are self claimed "fisi's", they are very clueless when it comes to what they can and not say online to a girl. Some things people say innocently online comes as disrespectful, childish, very boring or just insulting to the receiver. I have personally observed, personally practically researched and engaged in online dating chats and I can tell you today all the 'nasties' you can expect, 'nasties' you are supposed to keep to yourself till you meet your catch and what you can do to sound sane.

Today I am talking to good natured, well meaning people who are into or are trying online dating and are serious about it. 

Please beware Ladies; be ready to meet great serious guys among many creepy, horny, poor quality guys including foreigners who will look to traffic you to Colombia! ...Men, be ready to meet sincere mature women among many gold-diggers, cash hungry creepy evil girls, sugar mommies and chronically immature little girls!

Ladies.

1. The Profile...

Wherever you want to meet a guy from Facebook, to Badoo, to Match.com, OkCupid do not post nude or half naked photos of yourself, this makes you attract players who just want to hit that cookie and run. Respect yourself from the word go and present the seriousness you wish to find. Sexy photos won't make him love you automatically without meeting you, it will only bring you creeps who are looking for hookers.

Do not post creepy hobbies online like "I enjoy strangling chickens"  This makes you look like a serial killer, like jack the ripper. When a guy asks you to mail him your pictures on his personal email. Don't. when you have 5 profile pictures and some thug comes online with demands like "mail me your sexy pics"...block his silly ass! you have not met him, so you do not know him well enough to mail your photos! moreover, is he blind to the ones you already have?!

[If you are on an actual dating site, post a full picture as well, having only pictures of your face does not look honest and its only acceptable on "Facebook" not the real dating sites since someone will need to know your height or weight. Accept who you are, and others will.]

2.Mega 'Online Date'...

To avoid imagined attachments with just one guy out of imagined scarcity who might not be that great anyway, chat with several guys at ago, go eliminating one by one and accepting chats from new ones too as you accept going out on a real date with those that interest you. Do not just devote your time to one dude who might be married, immature or even a liar to your surprise. When you are open to meeting many people, you open the door to meeting the right ones to choose from.

3. The Chat...

Girls, you might bore the hell out of a guy if the only words you reply with are one worded replies like; hi, lol, hey, wassup, me too...its nerve wrecking to the person on the other side! If you do not want a guy chatting with you after looking at his profile, simply block his face! there's no need to leave room for him to continue sending messages you are not interested in reading. If you purely do not know what to ask, read his profile and look for something to ask ...its good to ask questions like what their favorite food is...let him know you are interested if you are indeed interested, otherwise block them and move on.

Girls, no matter how broke and depressed you are, when you are honest about finding love online, refrain from begging for rent money! or narrating how nasty your ex was, not one wants to involve themselves with drama! don't go telling about your last swinging adventure even if the guy asks. Do not get too excited to just blurt out stupid things you do not need to say, you might end up looking all crazy.

4. Taking it Offline...

The point of online meeting is actually meeting. Meet the guys but first be very comfortable, never be pressured to meet anyone.

I am very guilty of chatting for long without ever meeting guys that I've found interesting online, mostly because I don't find them 'leading' but slow and "politely boring"!

When a guy doesn't ask you to meet him, do not invite him to your house for dinner or give him ideas on where you should go, its safe to meet for coffee at an open joint instead, somewhere public! do not ask him to pick you up, because; just imagine you do not end up liking him while he knows where you live! be open to the fact that you can meet criminals too.

Its very possible to chat with a guy for a very long time without ever meeting him, I've chat with some guys for over two years whom I've never met... and I can assure you that it never goes anywhere until you meet no matter how much 'cool' you both are. You can never be a couple until you meet face to face, test the chemistry and know each other offline. People come off very different from their profiles! people lie about height, weight as filtered photos lie about their real facial looks. When you feel a connection, meet them, because you might waste a whole year imagining how great the guy is, while he is actually a jerk... again, when a man bribes you to meet him by promising to buy you stuff so that you can date him. Run! 

Men...

1. The Profile...

Guys, guys, guys, I have seen this a lot. A guy is busy hunting my ass down on Facebook while his profile says he is happily married, engaged , in an 'open relationship' or in a serious relationship which he's already tagged a certain girl. While others will hit on you when they have women declare their ownership of them allover Facebook. It doesn't matter if its 'fake information' to keep girls away, its just lame and deceptive and it gives the wrong idea to the person you are trying to hit on! 

If you want to date online especially via Facebook, have your profile saying single! and have no girls writing the nasties on your wall, all that scares serious ladies who would've liked you away! as it makes you look like you do not have boundaries. Ladies like men who can control their herd! you cannot have every Mary, Magdalene and Margret comfortably sitting on all your four walls and still expect a decent lady to agree to chat with you.

2. The Chat...

Ask her questions that goes with the interest you see on her profile! I see some grown-ass turds coming in and jumping into "tell me about yourself"  "when was your last relationship"  "have you been with a village guy with a big dick"  Nigger, this is not an darn interview! some questions should wait until next year guys! its even safer to inquire which church a girl attends instead of all the above madness. We ladies get scared and automatically see you as a person who feels too bossy and undoubtedly, a sexual predator who wants us for sex! not that sex is evil, but its good to move at an acceptable pace.

Guys, no matter how sexy you find a woman on her profile, you do not need to spill and smear her with all of that information. Vibes like ''you're so hot''  ''you're too sexy''  ''cant wait to have sex with you''  ''send me a sexy pic''... are stupid vibes you should stop typing and sending if you want the cycle of being blocked by girls ending. Its not flattering at all, maybe to simpletons and little girls. 

Do not underestimate the power of overly sexual words, they sound very hideous and repulsive when read from the other end! There are serious women whom if you start dwelling so much on her body, no matter how serious, and honest you think you are, you scare her away! or why do you think every beautiful women blocks your ass on Facebook right after your first sentence?

3. Mega Message Them...

Message many girls, do not just concentrate on one. That one girl you are super fast typing to might NOT the right one after chatting online for a whole three months. Do not put your eggs in one basket, they said, believe them. Chat with many girls online so that you can be able to eliminate down into what and who is fitting into your desire well. This is casting your net farther into the ocean.

4. 'Speed Contacting'...

Men come in to ladies chat boxes and the first message that pops in is "give me your Skype hun" "gimme your whatsapp" "thats my no' call me".  This is shady AF! why should I think you will be making a conversation on my Skype or whats-app if you cannot construct a respectful, polite greeting on the site we've met at?! Why the hell do you want my number for before I even check your profile!? chill brother, chill!

Guys, you have to chat for a few days with a girl to gain her confidence, to create a rapport with her, you know, moving up her radar slowly. Its very easy to make a girl like you enough, making it even easier and comfortable for her to give you her number without pressure. This will eventually enable you to move from texting on the site to real phone calls.

NB; when you take her number and continue to text whether direct on sms or whatsapp for three weeks, its no different from the DM & PM messaging, texting every time without ever calling is a communication deal breaker, it eventually gets too casual and boring. 

5. Meet

Set a date. Have the balls to ask her out! Demonstrate your power to make decisions and quick when it comes to it. We like men who are leaders and not afraid of being rejected. Ask her, if she agrees, great! if she doesn't, just give her time or leave her the hell alone! Its better to just meet her to know whether she is the one or not.

I am more likely to meet a guy who suggests we shall meet at a specific place instead of a guy who is always asking me when I will be free so that i can meet him. I love leaders, I like following  the leader... and so do every other woman who likes the traditional cup of romance. A real man sets and seals the deal. Meet the girl to know if you really match up or not. You know a lot by meeting at face value.

MEN: Never beg a lady to go out with you by using bribery especially! if she doesn't like you leave her alone. Do not be  an online date beggar! it never looks good on you.

•Most importantly people, protect your identity, do not divulge too much information to strangers online, like your address, where you work, where your kid goes to school etc, guard your private information. You never know how the stranger will behave with the information you are busy sharing.

•Don't ask questions or start conversations you wouldn't start if you were to meet this person at a party, just build a respectable conversation, take the precautions that you would take if you had met elsewhere. 

•Don't rush into an immediate gratification, move at a pace that will build trust and bonding. Its actually very easy to bond online when the conversation is mature and easy.

•The point being to eventually meet, make sure you meet those who you have liked, because the real dating begins offline. Being online is like being at a party, it only gets real when you talk to someone, if you like each other you exchange numbers, you call each other, go out and a relationship develops.


P.P.S : Since filters are here, Always! belief the ugliest picture they have of them to avoid disappointment.


Its Yo' Girl,

©NjokiGoodBadGirl™2016