Dating is a piece of work! I got to admit that guys also have a hard time trying to get the right women to kick life around with. The dating process is never easy, not even for me. Depending on who and when, i can be the unavailable, the mysterious or whatever i choose to be just to piss someone away or just to test persistence. Guys, when a girl plays you like this, she either genuinely doesn't like you, or she is weighing your perseverance to see how deep and serious you are with her. I'm a girl i know better :)
We all have across all these types of great but a little nutty women. some are our friends, our sisters, your girlfriend and even your wife. Since no one is really perfect, we should only accept those people with levels of craziness we can afford to live with. Always gauge, and decide if its tolerable.
• Maggie Marry me now! or i'll yell! - This is that chick that want you to marry her during or immediately the first date. This chick will freak your guts out by telling you the kind of wedding dress she must wear at her upcoming wedding [with you], and you must tell her if your mom is a great mother in law as well. This chick will not give you peace until you can get her an engagement ring in the second week of meeting her. Man, you'll have a hard time dealing with this one if you had no intention to stay. If you already accepted her, good luck buddy!
• Catrina Criticizer - This is the chick that will never admit or even recognize when you do something great, she always finds faults in what you wear, the job you do, and how you chew your food, how you walk after visiting the loo... This chick criticizes your friends and demands that you must stop hanging out with them. This relationship will only work when you are a loner, and emotionless, such that you don't get hurt easily.
• Whining Winnie - Winnie will not let you breath, she will still complain no matter what birthday gift you get her. She will complain even if you took her to a five star hotel for lunch. She will always be at your ears whining all day and night. She will whine that you were too rough and when you go easy, she will whine that you were a sissy. Winnie only shuts up only when you tell her she is cute. She is a compliments fisher even though she never ever compliments you. She will complain that you do not lover her even after buying her perfume worth a fortune on your anniversary.
• Talking Truphena - This chick is like talking tom, [i think she is talking tom's mom]. She never shuts her gob up even without drowning some guarana's, she is a natural! She talks on and on and on without taking a breather, she doesn't even let you finish your sentences before jumping in. At parties she will want to speak on your behalf because she believes -and will let you hear it that she has the "thing", she is more eloquent than you, she is better off than you speaking in public! she will interrogate you endless, to death instead of talking nicely or waiting for you to answer for peace's sake. She is great for you if you hate public speaking. Her speed of talking is faster than light.
• Lydia The Liar - She has that innocent face but this chick will lie to you on your face! She will tell you she ain' eating your sugar when she got particles on her lip. She will lie to you that her side nigga [one you've been hearing about] is her cousin even if you find them in your bed together. She will without flinching, tell you she doesn't have any kids and makes you believe she is still eighteen, only to find out she has a thirteen year old child at her mother's in the village.
• Partying Penina - She is a beautiful woman, she can cook, this chick may be twenty eight but she is still a crawling party animal, she still recognizes Ladies night, Members nights, Saturday night drinking spree all the way to Sunday break a leg evening. When you refuse to take her to her parties she will not hesitate going with her male friends. When you have a baby after two years, she will want to go out with her friends when the baby is three weeks old. she is a YOLO kind of chick. She will never grow out of this.
• Betraying Beatrice - This chick is cute, she will cheat on you today and when you forgive her, you will still find her in bed with your mechanic. She betrays you over and over, she sends thugs to steal from you then she pretends she knows nothing about it, but her bucketful of waterworks and the promises she swears touch you to the core and you fall for it once again! Man, if you already have this, its a prison you'll have a hard time getting out of.
• Dorothy The Drama Queen - Whoa! who isn't tired of drama queens! am a girl and i dislike them too, these chicks do not give a damn whether its her female friends or dudes, she will still scream her drama all over the place. When you hang out with her, you will always expect a fight at the club which she will have started. She is a freak in attention seeking and she seeks it everywhere including crying because her nail broke and when she has an imaginary cold.
• No Communication Carol - This chick always ask for airtime from you, but she will never ever call you or reply to your texts. She replies with one worded answers [yeah, hey, lol, cool ] and she makes the communication so brief you'd think she is a fugitive speaking code on the other end. [Man, this type is usually not that into you].
• Mary Mysterious - You will never find out who her friends are, where she lives or where she really hangs out. You will never meet her mother or even see her naked body. You will never find out what she really does with her life. You only meet her in your house or where she asks you to pick her and that's it! She is very difficult to crack. If you love the mysterious girl, that's your soulmate!
• Beryl Bribe Me First - This one is like a cop, you must bribe her first to get anything out of her. For you to have sex, you must buy a basket-full of chocolate and a bouquet of roses for her. You MUST do something for her to get her to be nice to you. Every time!
•Fanatical Fiona - She is holier than thou, this chick is into stuff she takes way too serious. When its religion, instead of talking about your relationship and how it will go ahead, you'll be arguing your voices away how and why Jonah was swallowed by the big fish, and if the fish was really really anointed, you'll be arguing when the rapture will happen. If she is a reading freak, she will force you to start reading her type of books and believing in her believes as well and when you don't follow "her teachings" you're totally screwed!
• Snooping Susan - When you want to be with this girl, you better be as pure as snow. She will stalk you on Facebook and complain about silly posts you made back in 2008' when you were 19 . She will wait on you to put that phone down so that she can check who you've been texting and its better be your boss because she will call all the female names on the calls log! to tell them to keep off her man! You cannot cheat because she will snoop on you till she finds out the truth, and probably kill you. With miss snoopy, you just have to be faithful if you want to live. She is a good catch if being monitored is your turn on.
•Clingy Clara - This one is a good chick, she is always at your arm clinging on like a baby. Thou shalt never worry where your baby at. She is everywhere you are, she has no life outside your relationship, even if you left her at home doing the dishes, she will just appear like magic at the joint where you'll be watching football with the boys and demand to sit next to you so she can gauge how much you'll drink or say than night.
• Unavailable Alice - She is pretty, intelligent, a survivor, kind of proud, she doesn't care much about what people think or say, and she pays her bills, this chick is never available, she never picks her calls, she is not certain whether she wants to be in a relationship or not. Most times is when she is on voicemail. She is never online, and you have no idea when you'll hear or see her next, she is like the wind. [Guys, if you're in this position with such a girl you like, just write her an email or a letter and send it to her mailing address, you'll be surprised, this type does not fool around and probably thinks you want to waste her precious time]
•Money! Money! Monalisa - When you don't have money, you DO NOT exist to her. She is beautiful, honest and she lets you know that when you get broke you can forget her ass as well. No romance without finance! yeah! remember this 90's song? its the song on her mind all year [i love the song too], she has no "official" source of salary, but she has everything electronic your CEO doesn't have whether you give her huge amounts of money or not. She is using you and you know if, but since is a trophy for you to show off, you take it in nice and slow, then take poison when she finally leaves for a richer guy.
Choices, as they say, have consequences!
PS. Outer Beauty out here mostly is just a mask to hide all the ugly characteristics-NJokiGBG
With Love,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015
We all have across all these types of great but a little nutty women. some are our friends, our sisters, your girlfriend and even your wife. Since no one is really perfect, we should only accept those people with levels of craziness we can afford to live with. Always gauge, and decide if its tolerable.
•Annie Undecided - This chick is never sure whether she really likes you or its just lack of a better guy. She doesn't know whether she wants to have sex with you or not. She has no idea whether she will really want to spend her afternoon or night with you or she just wants to be alone. But wait until she hears you were spotted with some beautiful girl somewhere, she will go green with jealousy! but still, she will not be sure what she wants to do with you.
•Irene Insecure - This chick will never give you peace because of her insecurity issues, she will want to know where you are and whom you are with every thirty minutes. She will bite her nails till nothing is left if you dare go unavailable on call. She is always afraid that you might wake up one day and leave her. She does not believe in herself [she thinks she is too fat or too skinny and cries frequently about it] neither does she trust you enough. She will go ahead and pour beetroot juice on any girl that smiles at you at the party. Avoid her if you are seriously considering a quiet sane 'serious' relationship.
• Maggie Marry me now! or i'll yell! - This is that chick that want you to marry her during or immediately the first date. This chick will freak your guts out by telling you the kind of wedding dress she must wear at her upcoming wedding [with you], and you must tell her if your mom is a great mother in law as well. This chick will not give you peace until you can get her an engagement ring in the second week of meeting her. Man, you'll have a hard time dealing with this one if you had no intention to stay. If you already accepted her, good luck buddy!
• Catrina Criticizer - This is the chick that will never admit or even recognize when you do something great, she always finds faults in what you wear, the job you do, and how you chew your food, how you walk after visiting the loo... This chick criticizes your friends and demands that you must stop hanging out with them. This relationship will only work when you are a loner, and emotionless, such that you don't get hurt easily.
• Whining Winnie - Winnie will not let you breath, she will still complain no matter what birthday gift you get her. She will complain even if you took her to a five star hotel for lunch. She will always be at your ears whining all day and night. She will whine that you were too rough and when you go easy, she will whine that you were a sissy. Winnie only shuts up only when you tell her she is cute. She is a compliments fisher even though she never ever compliments you. She will complain that you do not lover her even after buying her perfume worth a fortune on your anniversary.
• Talking Truphena - This chick is like talking tom, [i think she is talking tom's mom]. She never shuts her gob up even without drowning some guarana's, she is a natural! She talks on and on and on without taking a breather, she doesn't even let you finish your sentences before jumping in. At parties she will want to speak on your behalf because she believes -and will let you hear it that she has the "thing", she is more eloquent than you, she is better off than you speaking in public! she will interrogate you endless, to death instead of talking nicely or waiting for you to answer for peace's sake. She is great for you if you hate public speaking. Her speed of talking is faster than light.
• Lydia The Liar - She has that innocent face but this chick will lie to you on your face! She will tell you she ain' eating your sugar when she got particles on her lip. She will lie to you that her side nigga [one you've been hearing about] is her cousin even if you find them in your bed together. She will without flinching, tell you she doesn't have any kids and makes you believe she is still eighteen, only to find out she has a thirteen year old child at her mother's in the village.
• Partying Penina - She is a beautiful woman, she can cook, this chick may be twenty eight but she is still a crawling party animal, she still recognizes Ladies night, Members nights, Saturday night drinking spree all the way to Sunday break a leg evening. When you refuse to take her to her parties she will not hesitate going with her male friends. When you have a baby after two years, she will want to go out with her friends when the baby is three weeks old. she is a YOLO kind of chick. She will never grow out of this.
• Betraying Beatrice - This chick is cute, she will cheat on you today and when you forgive her, you will still find her in bed with your mechanic. She betrays you over and over, she sends thugs to steal from you then she pretends she knows nothing about it, but her bucketful of waterworks and the promises she swears touch you to the core and you fall for it once again! Man, if you already have this, its a prison you'll have a hard time getting out of.
• Dorothy The Drama Queen - Whoa! who isn't tired of drama queens! am a girl and i dislike them too, these chicks do not give a damn whether its her female friends or dudes, she will still scream her drama all over the place. When you hang out with her, you will always expect a fight at the club which she will have started. She is a freak in attention seeking and she seeks it everywhere including crying because her nail broke and when she has an imaginary cold.
• No Communication Carol - This chick always ask for airtime from you, but she will never ever call you or reply to your texts. She replies with one worded answers [yeah, hey, lol, cool ] and she makes the communication so brief you'd think she is a fugitive speaking code on the other end. [Man, this type is usually not that into you].
• Mary Mysterious - You will never find out who her friends are, where she lives or where she really hangs out. You will never meet her mother or even see her naked body. You will never find out what she really does with her life. You only meet her in your house or where she asks you to pick her and that's it! She is very difficult to crack. If you love the mysterious girl, that's your soulmate!
• Beryl Bribe Me First - This one is like a cop, you must bribe her first to get anything out of her. For you to have sex, you must buy a basket-full of chocolate and a bouquet of roses for her. You MUST do something for her to get her to be nice to you. Every time!
•Fanatical Fiona - She is holier than thou, this chick is into stuff she takes way too serious. When its religion, instead of talking about your relationship and how it will go ahead, you'll be arguing your voices away how and why Jonah was swallowed by the big fish, and if the fish was really really anointed, you'll be arguing when the rapture will happen. If she is a reading freak, she will force you to start reading her type of books and believing in her believes as well and when you don't follow "her teachings" you're totally screwed!
• Snooping Susan - When you want to be with this girl, you better be as pure as snow. She will stalk you on Facebook and complain about silly posts you made back in 2008' when you were 19 . She will wait on you to put that phone down so that she can check who you've been texting and its better be your boss because she will call all the female names on the calls log! to tell them to keep off her man! You cannot cheat because she will snoop on you till she finds out the truth, and probably kill you. With miss snoopy, you just have to be faithful if you want to live. She is a good catch if being monitored is your turn on.
•Clingy Clara - This one is a good chick, she is always at your arm clinging on like a baby. Thou shalt never worry where your baby at. She is everywhere you are, she has no life outside your relationship, even if you left her at home doing the dishes, she will just appear like magic at the joint where you'll be watching football with the boys and demand to sit next to you so she can gauge how much you'll drink or say than night.
• Unavailable Alice - She is pretty, intelligent, a survivor, kind of proud, she doesn't care much about what people think or say, and she pays her bills, this chick is never available, she never picks her calls, she is not certain whether she wants to be in a relationship or not. Most times is when she is on voicemail. She is never online, and you have no idea when you'll hear or see her next, she is like the wind. [Guys, if you're in this position with such a girl you like, just write her an email or a letter and send it to her mailing address, you'll be surprised, this type does not fool around and probably thinks you want to waste her precious time]
•Money! Money! Monalisa - When you don't have money, you DO NOT exist to her. She is beautiful, honest and she lets you know that when you get broke you can forget her ass as well. No romance without finance! yeah! remember this 90's song? its the song on her mind all year [i love the song too], she has no "official" source of salary, but she has everything electronic your CEO doesn't have whether you give her huge amounts of money or not. She is using you and you know if, but since is a trophy for you to show off, you take it in nice and slow, then take poison when she finally leaves for a richer guy.
Choices, as they say, have consequences!
PS. Outer Beauty out here mostly is just a mask to hide all the ugly characteristics-NJokiGBG
With Love,
Njoki_TheGoodBadGirl ©2015
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